Act of Faith
by DragonKatGal
Summary: *WIP* Set after the Gift. Faith gives the world a new Slayer. Then comes the start of Season Six and the two Slayers working together. B/G fic with a bit of B/S. *NEW: Chapter Twenty-Eight*
1. Faith

ACT OF FAITH

SETTINGS: During/after The Gift.

DISCLAIMER: Not mine, yadda yadda.

COUPLE: Buffy/Giles.  

CHAPTER ONE: FAITH

With determination stretched clearly across her face, she pushed the short demon off the tower, rushing towards her sister.

_"Buffy it hurts," Dawn whimpered._

_"I got it.  Come here.  You're gonna be okay," Buffy said softly, trying to get her younger sister to calm down._

_She undid the ropes on her sister's hands and lead her away from the edge, the young girl limping slightly._

_Dawn stopped and looked back at where she had been.  She turned to her sister._

_"Go!" Buffy implored, not even for a moment considering letting her sister jump into the portal.  Even if it would cost the world, she wasn't willing to let her sister pay that price._

_"Buffy, it's started," Dawn said.  "I'm sorry."_

_"It doesn't matter," Buffy said, resigning herself to the fact that she was about to let the world end.  She would rather not have the world exist than to live in a world where she had let her sister die._

_Dawn pushed past Buffy in an attempt to get back to the edge.  Buffy held her back, grabbing her wist and pulling her._

_"What are you doing?" Buffy asked incredulously._

_"I have to jump," Dawn explained.  "The energy."_

_"It'll kill you," Buffy said, almost angry that her sister had even suggested jumping._

_"I know," Dawn replied sadly.  "Buffy, I know about the ritual.  I have to stop it."_

_"No," Buffy said._

_The tower shook slightly, both of them stumbling a little._

"I have to.  Look at what's happening," Dawn said, just as a dragon flew out of the portal and into the skies of Sunnydale.  "Buffy, you have to let me go. Blood starts it, and until the blood stops flowing, it'll never stop."

Buffy could only stare at her sister.  When had Dawn become to grown up, so level-headed?  The monks had certainly given her part of the hero within Buffy.

_"You know you have to let me. It has to have the blood," Dawn said, tears threatening to fall down her wind-blown cheeks._

_Buffy looked at her, shocked by her sisters' words.  The blood!_

"Cause it's always got to be blood," _Spike had said._

"It's Summers blood. It's just like mine," _she heard herself saying to Dawn._

"She's me. The monks made her out of me," _another of her own voices said._

_"_Death is your gift," _the spirit guide had told her that so many months ago._

_"_Death…"

"Is your gift."

Buffy turned slowly, looking towards the portal that was nearly completely open.  She almost smiled as she realised that she had figured out another way.  She could save her sister.  She turned back to her sister, a peaceful look covering her face.

_Dawn stared at her, wide-eyed, knowing that her sister had pieced something together that was going to tear them apart._

_"Buffy, no!" Dawn said, shaking her head empathically._

_"Dawnie, I have to," Buffy said calmly._

_"No!"_

_"Listen to me.  Please, there's not a lot of time, listen," Buffy implored._

_She grabbed a hold of her younger sister, keeping her sister from running towards the portal and also keeping her on her feet as Buffy told her what would be her last words._

_"Dawn, listen to me.  Listen.  I love you.  I will _always_ love you.  But this is the work that I have to do.  Tell Giles…tell Giles that I figured it out.  And, and I'm okay.  And give my love to my friends.  You have to take care of them now.  You have to take care of each other.  You have to be strong.  Dawn, the hardest thing is this world…is to live in it.  Be brave. Live.  For me."_

_She stroked her younger sister's cheek and kissed it softly, tears cascading down the younger Summers' girls face.  She looked at Dawn one last time before turning and running off the platform, diving into the portal that would close when her blood flowed no more._

_Dawn watched in horror as she saw her sister jump in her place.  Tears welled in her eyes and she ran to the edge of the tower, contemplating jumping in after her sister.  She stopped, remembering Buffy's last words.  _

_"Live.  For me."_

Faith shot up in bed, sweat making her dull grey clothing stick uncomfortably to her skin.  She wrapped her arms around herself, trying to make the shaking stop, wishing that she could erase the memory of the image of Buffy jumping from the tower into the swirling portal below.

She had only had dreams like that when she had been the Slayer.  When she had begun working for the Mayor, the dreams had stopped.  For a while, whilst in her coma, they had returned, but they had never been of the prophetic nature of 'Slayer-vision' as she and Buffy had dubbed it.  

She jumped from her bed, beginning to pace around the tiny confinement of her cell, feeling increasingly restless.  From the looks of the outside world, which she could only see through a small window in the corner of her cell, the sun was only just coming up over the horizon.

It would be at least another hour before they did the daily cell check.  She wanted – needed – to call Angel and ask him if he had heard anything about Buffy.  She had to know if her mind was subjecting her to new levels of torture or if the dream truly had been real.

Faith had been in the LA prison for nearly fifteen months now.  After her antics in both Sunnydale and LA she had been hesitant to make any contact with anyone from either place.  When a letter from Buffy had shown up for her in her second week of being imprisoned, she had been completely shocked.

From then on, she and Buffy had kept in constant contact with each other.  The letters seemed to constantly become longer and longer and were sent on a weekly basis, the highlight of Faith's week.

Buffy had kept Faith informed on everything from Joyce passing away to the information about Dawn being the Key and Glory wanting Dawn's blood.

Faith had always written back with amusing storied of what people in the prison had been doing.  Some stories, however, had been a little more serious.  People seemed to go missing, while others were found as large piles of dust when morning came.

Lost in her thoughts and in her pacing, Faith nearly missed the mandatory wake up call.  The cell doors opened noisily and she stepped out, her hands by her sides.  Out of habit she looked to her right and left, seeing who was still here and who had not survived the night.

The cell check was done quickly and they were herded out to the cafeteria area.  Faith sat her food in front of her, pushing the unknown substance around the plate, not even attempting to try and eat.

She was unsettled and thrown by the dream.  She knew that she wouldn't feel comfortable again until she found out the truth of what happened.  She could feel something missing, a massive part of her.  Somehow, she already knew the horrible truth.  Buffy was dead.

~*~

Later that afternoon, sitting in her cell, she wrote her dream down in a letter to Buffy, tears slowly falling from her cheeks.  She heard keys jangling in the lock of her door and she looked up, surprised to see that she hadn't heard anyone approaching.

She looked up at the officer that seemed to be the only one who liked her in the slightest.  Wiping her cheeks quickly, she gave a weak smile and waited to hear what Sophie Bargo had to say.

"You got a letter and a visitor," Sophie said, handing Faith an envelope and holding the door open for Faith to come through.

Faith looked longingly at the envelope, her name written in Buffy's neat cursive handwriting.

"Who's the visitor?" Faith asked.

"Tall, dark, brooding and gorgeous," Sophie replied, a mischievous glint in her eyes.

Faith stood up quickly, pocketed the envelope and moved past Sophie, walking quickly towards the visitors room.  She saw Angel and sat down in front of him, sound proof and bullet proof glass between them.

Faith picked up the speakerphone before Angel had even realised that she was there.

"Faith," Angel started, his voice catching in his throat.  Faith's hopeful expression immediately fell as she saw Angel's serious and sad face.  It looked as though she hadn't been the only one crying earlier that afternoon.

"It's Buffy isn't it?" Faith asked.

Angel looked at her, taken aback.

"How did you-"

"I saw it happen," Faith said sadly. "This morning, I dreamt it.  I was hoping that I was wrong."

Angel shook his head sadly, a single tear falling.  Faith felt a tightening pain in her chest, wishing for the millionth time that she could take back the last two years,

"When did it happen?" Faith asked, wishing that she hadn't, but needing to know the answers to the questions that had been hounding her mind since this morning.

"This morning, around six.  Willow just told me," Angel said.

"I'm sorry," Faith said quietly.

Angel shook his head, silently telling her it wasn't her fault.

"How's Giles taking it?" Faith asked.

"Not well.  Willow said that everyone was taking it pretty badly," Angel explained.  "Giles especially."

Faith nodded, unsure of what to say.  "He was her Watcher," was all she could think of.

Angel nodded his agreement, as though that one sentence immediately summed up everything that had happened between Buffy and Giles.  

Faith didn't know what else to say to the brooding vampire in front of her.  Their friendship was tentative at best and comforting him over the girl that she had tried to kill so many times just didn't seem to be appropriate.

"I just thought you should know," Angel said, obviously not knowing what to say to her either.  

Faith nodded and felt her pocket, making sure the letter was still safely hidden there.

"Thanks," she said softly.  "For coming."

Angel nodded and hung up the phone, standing slowly as though his very being ached without Buffy's presence.  No matter how long it had been since he and Buffy had seen each other, it still hurt to know that he wouldn't ever be able to see her again.

Faith stood up quickly, bolting out of the visitors room, rushing back towards her cell.  She flung herself onto her bed after taking the envelope from her pocket, ripping the letter open.

_Dear Faith,_

_I'm sorry this is so short, but I've only got a few seconds.  Glory has my sister and things aren't exactly of the good here.  Giles says that there's only one way to close the portal if Glory manages to get it open.  He wants me to kill Dawn.  To kill my sister. I wish I could hate him for even suggesting it, but, I love him anyway.  I hope I get to tell him that.  If I don't make it for some reason, could you tell him I loved him to the end?_

_Anyway I WILL find another way, even if it kills me.  There is NO way in hell that I will kill my sister.  As much of a pain as she is sometimes, there is NO chance that I will hurt her._

_If I don't write for a while, then I guess it'll mean that something bad has happened but I sincerely hope I can avoid that at all costs.  But, whatever happens, I just wanna say that even after all the crap we've put each other through, you're still a good friend._

_Take care of yourself._

_Love Buffy._

Faith wiped tears from her eyes and stood up, walking over to the small shoebox in the corner.  She lifted the lid and slid the envelope to the back of the overflowing box.

She looked towards her half-finished letter that she had been working on earlier.  There seemed to be no point to it now.  With tears flowing freely, she ripped the paper into tiny fragments, letting the pieces slip silently through her fingers.

It seemed as though Buffy had found another way.  And it had killed her.  But, like Buffy had said, there was no way that she was going to let her sister die.  

She tore off a new sheet of paper from her worn out notebook and scribbled a hasty letter, not even thinking as the words flowed from her pen.

She took a final look out the small window, taking in the bright lights of the city, faintly able to hear a police siren in the distance. After only a moments hesitation, she closed her eyes and finally knew peace.

~*~

Dawn Summers curled up on the couch, staring blankly at the wall.  Around her, Willow, Tara, Xander, Anya, Spike and Giles did much the same thing.

The room was blanketed in an eerie silence, except for Xander's unusually loud wristwatch, the only indication that the world wasn't standing still.  Tears fell from red eyes, not a single one of them bothering to hide their grief.

The funeral had been that morning, a grey and overcast day, perfect weather which had meant that Spike and Angel had been able to attend.  To everyone's surprise, they weren't the only vampires who had attended.  Angel had counted at least seven other vampires, not including Spike and himself who had shown up to pay their respects, and had not even attempted to make trouble.

It was when each member of the Scooby Gang had scattered dirt onto the small coffin that the horrible truth had finally set it.

Buffy was gone.  And she wasn't coming back.

A loud motorcycle revving outside broke the still silence.  Giles glanced out the window and saw the mailman continue on down the street.

"Mail's here," he commented softly.

No one moved for nearly half an hour.  It was Tara who stood up awkwardly and moved towards the door.  She quickly collected the mail and returned to the room.

Uncertain of what to do with the four envelopes addressed to Buffy, she put them down on the coffee table in front of Giles.  He stared at them, in doubt of what he should do.  Buffy herself had gone through the same dilemma of having to open her mother's mail after Joyce had died.

It seemed almost distasteful to open the mail meant for his Slayer, but….like Buffy had said about her mother's mail, it  had to be done.

He picked up the small pile cautiously, almost waiting for Buffy to bound down the stairs and snatch it from him, playfully telling him to keep his paws off of them.  He stared at the envelopes, determining what each of them were.

Bill.  Bill.  Bank statement.  Letter.  Postmarked from LA.  _Angel_, he thought immediately.  The writing seemed unfamiliar though, some part of his mind telling him that it was a females handwriting, though he couldn't be certain.

He flipped the envelope over to see a small heart with a stake through it.  He almost smiled, recognising the symbol that Buffy had sometimes doodled on her notebooks when she had been in the library.

He opened the envelope and pulled out three pages, written front and back.  He turned to the back of the last page and nearly dropped the letter when he was whom it was from.

_Write back soon!_

_Love Faith._

Willow saw the Watcher's expression of shock and glanced towards Tara worriedly.

"Who's it from?" Willow asked quietly.

Giles couldn't quite find the words to say all he wanted to.  He looked up and removed his glasses.

"It's from Faith," he said.

The entire room looked up at him as one.  

"Faith as in…homicidal maniac Faith?  Faith that teamed up with the Mayor, stole Buffy's body, slept with Riley and almost got away to Mexico Faith?" Xander asked.

Giles nodded.  "Apparently."

"Oh," Xander said, still confused.  "Just wanted to be clear."

"Did…did you know about this Dawn?" Willow asked gently.

Dawn shook her head slightly and tried to find her voice.

"She never told me who they were from," Dawn explained. "I thought it was Angel at first, but…the writing wasn't his."

"So this isn't a new thing then?" Xander commented.

"She's been getting one of those letters every week for the last year," Dawn said.

The room went silent once more, each of the Scoobies trying to work out what to do with this new information. 

"Maybe…maybe someone should…should tell Faith," Tara suggested nervously.

"Why, so she can dance on Buffy's grave?  So she can make fun of us and…and," Xander trailed off, choking on his tears.  Anya gently rubbed his back trying to calm his down.

"From the looks of this letter, it would…it appears that they were, uh…rather close," Giles said.

"But why?" Xander asked.  "Why would Buffy…I mean, why would she do that?  Be writing to Faith and not telling anyone about it?"

"She uh…she must have had her reasons," Giles said, not understanding his Slayer's actions either, though he was not one to judge her for it.

"I can't believe that Buffy would just forgive her like that," Xander said.

"I can," Anya said.

Xander looked at his fiancé with wide eyes.  "Why would she?"

"Well…she forgave Angel, right?  And…and she was letting Spike help her out, and…she and I were kind of friends.  I mean, she's giving demons second chances, so…why wouldn't she forgive Faith?"  Anya asked.

Giles nodded his agreement.  "Anya's right.  Buffy may have been…angry with Faith and rightly so, but…she's not one to hold grudges for long.  As…as the Slayer, she couldn't afford to."  Everyone heard the underlying truth.  Buffy wouldn't have been able to live with herself dying when someone was mad at her. 

"I just don't get why she wouldn't have told us," Xander commented.

"Does it matter?" Dawn asked testily. "She forgave her.  And…if Buffy could forgive Faith then…then maybe we should too." 

Everyone went silent, a little shocked by Dawn's outburst.  Giles went to say something, but the phone cut him off before he had a chance.  Giles stared at the telephone blankly, as though he had momentarily forgotten what it was there for.

"You gonna answer that mate?" Spike asked, his voice almost gentle, trying not to mock the man that had loved Buffy above everyone else.

Giles snapped out of his trance and picked the phone up.  "Summers' residence," he said, his voice nearly breaking with emotion.  There was only one Summers here now, and she wasn't even a true member.

"That you William?" came the voice from the other end.  "Is Buffy about?"

Giles' mind went blank once more, trying to work out who William was and how to break the news of Buffy's death.

"Who is this?" Giles asked.

"I'm hurt you don't recognise me William," the voice said, laughing a little.  "It's me, Phil.  From the Bronze.  Where Buffy works."

"Oh, uh…right," Giles said, now completely confused.  He looked towards Spike who stared at him intently.  His vampire hearing had heard the other voice on the end.

"That Phil?"

Giles nodded and Spike stood up, taking the phone.

"Phil?  Yeah, it's William.  Sorry about that," Spike said casually.  "What?  No, no…he's not a relative."

Spike listened for a moment and began pacing the little space that the cord of the phone would allow him.

"Look, Phil…I uh…there's something you should know," Spike said, hating that he was so close to tears whilst on the phone.

"Buffy's uh…she was in an accident…a few days ago.  She uh," Spike coughed a little, trying to keep his voice steady.  "She didn't make it."

Spike listened as Phil went quiet and swore under his breath.  He began muttering apologies to Spike, uncertain of what else to say.

"Look, now's really not a good time, but…I'll stop by in a few days, clean out her locker.  Tomorrow maybe," he said.  With that, he hung up the phone and ran a hand through his hair.

"Who's Phil?" Xander asked as Spike took his seat near Dawn.

"Buffy's boss," Spike answered, not bothering to remember that Buffy had never told the group about her job.

"Buffy had a job?" Willow asked incredulously.

Spike nodded and shifted his weight on the couch to make Dawn more comfortable as she curled up next to him.

"Is there anything else she was hiding from us?" Xander asked, almost angrily.

Dawn shook her head, annoyed that Xander was taking all of this so personally.  Spike saw the young girls agitation and hastily spoke up before Dawn had a chance to, figuring he had less to lose for going off at them than Dawn did.

"She suddenly has to tell you lot everything she does?" Spike asked angrily, not even noticing that he was referring to Buffy as though she was still alive.

"Well, it would have been nice to have been kept informed," Xander shot back.

"It wasn't really any of our business," Tara said gently.

Xander looked towards Giles, hoping for back-up.

"You're her Watcher.  Did you have any idea about this?"

Giles shook his head and cleared his throat.  "I uh…I never really thought to ask I suppose."

"How did you think we could still afford everything?" Dawn asked defensively.

She couldn't believe that Buffy's friends were being so selfish.  Her sister was DEAD and all they cared about was the fact that Buffy had kept secrets.

"So, how come evil undead knew and we didn't?" Xander asked.

Spike rolled his eyes and sighed dramatically.

"I saw her working there one night, waiting tables.  We were patrolling and she said she had to go home early, look after the Nibblet.  We went our separate ways, but I headed to the Bronze after I'd finished with the patrolling," Spike explained.  "She was working, but I didn't say anything to her until a week later when she bailed again."

"She stopped her patrolling to go to work?" Giles asked, a little shocked, but non-judgemental all the same.  He understood why Buffy had taken the job, though why she hadn't told him was a little confusing.  Surely she knew he would have understood.

"She knew I'd finish up for her," Spike said.  "And it was only on Friday nights anyway.  She worked during the day Monday to Thursday."

"How did we never see her working there?" Willow wondered.

"She started at twelve thirty and went until about eight in the morning," Dawn said. "She told me that you guys never stayed past about eleven thirty."

"She always left with us though," Willow said.

"Yeah, but she always went patrolling," Anya said.  "She probably just doubled back."

Giles stared thoughtfully at the clock on the wall.  "She was always at training by eight thirty on Saturday morning.  I never gave much though as to why she was so tired though.  Whenever I asked, she just said that she hadn't slept well."

Spike looked towards Dawn and saw her smile tiredly at him. All she wanted was for this day to just end.

The phone rang once more and Giles moved to answer it.

"Summers residence."

"Rupert, is that you?" asked a voice he knew all too well.

"Quentin," he replied, almost growling the name.

"Just thought someone should let you know…a new Slayer's been called."

"What?" Giles asked.  "That's impossible.  A new Slayer was called already when…when Buffy died the first time."

Quentin chuckled a little and Giles was grateful that he wasn't in the same room as the other man, or else he may have been forced to strangle the older Watcher for laughing at such a time.

"It would appear that the uh…somewhat 'rogue' Slayer has…passed on," Quentin said.

"Did…did the Council…"

"No, no," Quentin assured him.  "The Council had no part in her demise.  It was purely by her own hand."

"Faith killed herself?" Giles asked, not believing Quentin's words.

Xander, Willow and Dawn looked up at Giles, shocked by Giles' question.

"Yes it seems so," Quentin said calmly.  "Last night."

Giles went silent for a moment, trying to think before remembering that Quentin was still on the line.  "Well, uh…thank you," Giles said, replacing the receiver into the cradle.

Giles turned to face the others.  "That was Quentin Travers."

"Stodgy Council guy with the bad goatee?" Xander asked.

"Ah, yes.  As you heard…Faith killed herself.  Last night in fact," Giles explained.

"Guess that means there's a new Slayer in town," Spike said.

Giles nodded and took off his glasses, wishing that he didn't have to deal with so much right now.  All he wanted was a stiff drink and to forget everything that he had stored in his memory. It was just too painful to think that his beloved Slayer had passed on.

"Essentially, yes.  I uh…I don't know if she'll be uh…sent to Sunnydale, but…I'm assuming that she will eventually come here if she's needed," Giles said.

Dawn yawned tiredly and Spike gave her a gentle nudge.  "Bedtime for you Nibblet," he whispered.

Dawn nodded and stood up, giving a weak nod to the group to say goodnight.  Spike stood up and walked her to her room, sitting beside her bed until she finally slept.

~*~

Wesley knocked hesitantly on the Summer's front door, waiting for it to be opened. He was holding a small shoebox, filled with envelopes and letters, as well as small knick-knacks that Faith had collected over a period of a year and a half.

The door opened and Wesley found himself eye-to-eye with a grief stricken Giles.  

Giles closed his eyes momentarily and stood aside to allow Wesley to come in. 

Wesley took a seat in the living room, noticing how silent the house was.  It was eerie and uncomfortable, and so obviously a house of mourning.

"What brings you here Wesley?" Giles asked kindly.

Wesley held out the shoebox to him.  "This was…it was all of Faith's belongings.  She uh…she left a note that said everything was to go to you, because…well…the letter's in here are from…"

"From Buffy, I know," Giles said, his voice breaking with emotion as he said his Slayer's name.  He sat down opposite Wesley.

Wesley nodded and let Giles take the box from him.

"There's also a note from…from Faith.  Addressed to you," Wesley said hesitantly.

"To me?" Giles asked.

Wesley nodded and handed Giles another piece of folded up note paper.  Giles took it hesitantly and unfolded it.  He recognised the writing from the letter that Faith had written to Buffy.

_Dear Giles,_

_I know you never wanna hear from me again, and I can't blame you for that, but there's still some things that need to be said._

_I'm so sorry about how all of this turned out.  I can't help but feel that in some ways, some of this is my fault.  Maybe if I hadda been there beside her, she woulda been able to tell you this herself._

_I've never met anyone like Buffy, never in my life.  She forgave without rhyme or reason, and sometimes, she shouldn't have forgiven some people at all.  Like me.  She shouldn't have forgiven me, but…when she did, I can honestly say that I have never felt more relieved in my life. _

_Of all the people I've ever screwed over, I know I hurt her the most.  We were the same, Buffy and I.  We knew what it was like to have to do things that we didn't particularly want to do, but with her at my side, I felt like I could do anything.  I wish I hadn't forgotten that._

_She knew what it was like to have to give things up.  So…that's what I'm doing.  Giving myself up.  Just like she did.  Course, she was saving the world, and…I'm just giving you a new Slayer. _

_I once told Buffy that she couldn't save the world in jail, and…I guess I was right.  I can't do anything from in here, so, all I can do is give you someone who can.  I hope the next one doesn't turn out as screwed up as I did._

_I'm sorry that I never got to apologise in person, but…I hope you can forgive me for everything I ever did to you.  Every letter B ever sent me is in this box.  Whatever you decide to do with it…well, it's yours now._

_She wanted you to know…she loved you to the very end.  Even after suggesting to hurt Dawn, she loved you anyway.  I wish I had someone love me as wholly as she loved you.  I guess now I'll never know._

_Stay safe G.  _

_Faith._

Giles looked up at Wesley who gave a weak smile.  "She knew about Buffy?" 

Wesley nodded.  "Angel went and spoke to her," he explained.  "He didn't think that Faith would commit suicide when he went there.  He just knew that Buffy had kept in contact with Faith, and…he thought that Faith should be informed."

Giles nodded and stared down at the box.

"Anyway, I should get going.  I just…I felt I needed to give this to you in person," Wesley explained.

"Yes…thank you," Giles said softly.

"I'll let myself out," Wesley said, leaving the older Watcher to sort through everything that the note from Faith had said.

Out of sheer curiosity, he had read the note and had been startled to say the least to read about Buffy's feelings for her Watcher.  Although he had often wondered about the close relationship between the two of them, it had never seemed to be of a romantic inclination.  Perhaps he had been wrong after all. 

Giles could only look at the words of the letter in front of him.  

_'She loved you to the very end.'_

A tear fell from his eyes, splashing silently onto the paper in front of him.  He wiped his eyes hastily and folded the letter.  He opened the shoebox Wesley had given him, astounded to see the sheer multitude of letters that Buffy and Faith had exchanged.

They were neatly organised by their dates, some of the envelopes considerably more tattered than the others, but Giles could tell that Faith had been taking care of them.

He picked up the first letter and began to read.


	2. Called

CHAPTER TWO: CALLED

Ryan Evans gulped nervously as he looked around the courtyard of the small Sydney school.  With only a minimal amount of information to go on, he had been told to find the new Slayer.

His uncle, Quentin Travers, had chuckled at him when he had asked how he was going to recognise this girl.  His answer was even more vague than the information eh already had.

"You'll just know," had been the answer.

The plane trip over from England had been excruciating.  To top off his nerves, Ryan had been airsick for the better part of the twenty hour flight.  

He had settled into the Council provided house yesterday, tired to sleep off the jetlag, and had begun his new job as teacher of ancient history faster than his mind could keep up.

Once more, he scanned down the little information he had on the newest Slayer and continued looking for her.  He didn't even have a photograph to go on, only a name.  Erika Wylcroft.  

But, he trusted that, like his uncle had said, he would 'just know' when he saw her.  He also knew that she was in one of his classes, though unfortunately for him, it was the last class of the day.

Quentin had given him a rundown on what he was to say to her, but…honestly, Ryan wouldn't have been surprised if the new Slayer would just laugh in his face.  What seventeen year old wouldn't?

Much like the calling of Buffy Summers, the Council hadn't been aware that this new girl had even been a prospective Slayer.  It was also almost unheard of for a Slayer to be called so close to their eighteenth birthday.  No Slayer was ever called _after_ their eighteenth, but the only other Slayer yo come close to being called so 'late' in life had been a girl in 1918, who was called at the age of seventeen and a half.  

The trouble with Slayer's called after they turned seventeen is the believability of the story.  "Into each generation, a Slayer is born.  One girl in all the world, a Chosen One.  One born with the strength and skill to hunt the vampire's, to stop the spread of their evil childers and minions."

Even at twenty-seven and being brought up with the mythology, Ryan still found it hard to believe.  That was, of course, until he had come face-to-face with his first vampire.

He had to laugh at the memory of his first confrontation with a demon.  It had been three years since the first time he had used a stake.  

He and the other Watcher-in-Training, Wesley Wyndham-Price, had topped the class in the theory-based section of the training, and to be further tested, they were placed into a closely monitored room with two vampires.

Wesley looked towards Ryan, a panicked sweat breaking out over his forehead.

_"We top the class and they try to kill us?" Wesley had asked, pompous as ever._

_Ryan had just given a small grin.  Wesley always took things so seriously.  He had been a little miffed when Ryan and he had tied for first place in the written tests.  Wesley had stayed up studying for two weeks straight.  Ryan still had yet to crack open a book and seriously study._

_"Just preparing us Wes," Ryan said calmly, a stake in his hand.  _

_He circled the vampires who were carefully watching the two young men with the stakes.  Wesley seemed to be of no threat to the vampires whatsoever, so both demons were looking more carefully at Ryan._

_Ryan faked left and managed to get a roundhouse kick towards the male vampire, surprising it a little, but he was soon thrown to the ground as soon as the vampire had come to his senses._

_Ryan backed up, sliding across the floor, stake still in his hand.  He looked briefly past the demons towards Wesley who looked as though he was about to faint._

_One of the vampires turned to look to where the smell of fear was emanating to clearly._

_"Hey Wes, you may wanna be careful.  Just remember, they gave you that stake for a bloody good reason," he had cautioned._

_He leapt to his feet and wrestled with the vampire, keeping the creatures fangs away from his neck.  He took a punch to the gut, but instead of doubling over instinctively, he held back and breathed in quickly, returning the punch to the vampire.  Without a moments hesitation, Ryan slammed his stake into the vamps back and watched, fascinated as the vamp turned to dust before his eyes._

_"Uh, a little help here," Wesley whimpered from his corner of the room._

_Ryan just rolled his eyes and yanked the vampire away from his colleague.  While the vamps arms were behind his back, Wesley seemed to gather the courage from somewhere, and, pausing for a second, he rammed his stake into the heart of the creature._

_Ryan gave Wesley a grin, a little surprised that he had managed to come through in the end._

_"Nice one," Ryan commented._

_Wesley had just smirked and tried to regain his balance.  Quentin had entered the room, smiling at the two men.  "Congratulations, you're very first kill."_

_Ryan had grinned a little, proud that he hadn't wussed out like Wesley had._

_"Come.  We must get you back to your training.  One never knows when the new Slayer will be called," Quentin said._

_Ryan stared at his uncle, a little disturbed by the tone of his voice.  Wesley looked towards Ryan with a slight smile.  "Well, that went rather well, wouldn't you say?  I must admit, I'm hoping the new Slayer will be called very soon."_

_Ryan's face fell and he shook his head.  "I hope I'm not a Watcher for a very long time."_

_Wesley looked at him, perplexed. "You don't think you're ready?"_

_"Oh, I'm ready.  But the only way I'm going to become the next Watcher is for this Slayer to die.  And I don't want that to happen."_

_Wesley looked a little taken aback, as though he hadn't really thought about how Watchers were called.  "Well…we'll see what happens then I suppose."_

Wesley had been given the position of the next Watcher over Ryan, in large part due to that conversation.  His uncle had only caught the first part of it, and when Ryan had tried to explain, Quentin hadn't wanted to hear a word of it.

So, Wesley was sent to Sunnydale to take over as position of Watcher to Buffy Summers.  He had been fired several months later for her insubordination and for the other Slayer becoming a rogue.  

Now, the rogue Slayer was dead, and here he was to initiate some innocent girl into a world of death and darkness.  Needless to say, he wasn't exactly looking forward to it.

The bell behind him rang, startling him out of his thoughts.  He sighed, realising he hadn't even spotted someone who he 'just knew' was his Slayer.  He turned and walked towards his first class, knowing that today was going to be excruciatingly long.

~*~

The day seemed to drag on, though he was enjoying himself immensely, teaching these teenagers about ancient history.  He was somewhat glad that his subject was an elective, as only the students who really wanted to be there were.  

The bell rang once more and the students scurried out, trying to make it out the door as quickly as possible to avoid any extra homework assignments being given to them as they raced out.

The final lesson.  The lesson where Ryan would finally meet his Slayer.  He could feel a tight nervousness growing in his chest, his heart pounding at the thought of finally seeing her.

Students began coming in, sitting themselves towards the back of the room, sitting in small friendship clumps. He breathed in deeply as he saw a girl come in with two other girls, smiling happily as she chatted with them.

Seats scraped across the floor and suddenly there was a silence upon the classroom, all eyes on the new teacher.  Everyone had heard gossip about the young ancient history teacher.  He was reputed to be remarkably good looking and have an incredible accent.  Many of the younger girls had been swooning over him at lunch time.

Ryan deliberately avoided eye contact with the girl that he 'just knew' was the new Slayer and tried to get on with the class.

"Good afternoon everyone.  As some of you may know, I'm Mr Evans, and just for the record, I am British so please don't feel as though you need to remind me."

A small peal of laughter broke out.  Erika grinned at her two friends who raised their eyebrows appreciatively.

"We're here to learn ancient history.  For those of you who want to coast through the year, I suggest you go elsewhere. This subject is hard and will require a lot of out of school research.  I'm not going to be offended if you get up and walk out right now," he said, pausing dramatically.

No one dared move, the girls too captivated by his accent and his gorgeous blue eyes, and the boys too distracted by the teacher who was finally giving it to them straight.

"Alright then.  We'll begin."

His heart seemed to have slowed down to a regular pace once more, and he was able to forget that Erika was even in his class.  He was a good teacher, he knew that, but he also enjoyed teaching these kids.  And, if he couldn't make it slightly more interesting for them, he wasn't about to complain.

Textbooks were opened and Ryan explained so many things to them, beginning with the basics of Ancient Rome.  Somehow, he managed to get the class into a discussion, but before it could get too far, a loud ringing could be heard.

He looked up to see who the offending person with the cellular phone was, about to tell them off for interrupting their discussion.  When he saw a red-faced Erika reach into her bag and quickly turn the phone off, he stopped and merely glared at her.  The discussion continued as though there had been no interruption whatsoever.

The bell rang and Ryan felt his heart drop.  He hadn't had a chance to really get Erika to talk, but suddenly he remembered.  He had the opportunity to call her aside without any of the other students even noticing.

"Erika, a word if you please," he said, his voice gentle.

She shot a panicked look towards her two friends, whom Ryan had learnt where Ami Smith and Katiana 'Kat' Ashson.  Ami and Kat sent her supportive smiles.

"Want us to wait?" Kat asked.

Erika breathed in deeply, trying to be brave.  She was seventeen and was NOT going to be intimidated by the new teacher on his first day.

"Nah, it's fine.  I'll give you a call tonight."

Kat hesitated, but nodded all the same.  

Ami grinned and mouthed the words 'good luck' before departing.

Erika looked towards Ryan nervously.

"Sir, I'm sorry.  I didn't realise my phone was even on, it won't happen again, I swear," she rambled.

Ryan held up a hand and smiled.  "It's alright Erika.  It's not about that."

"It's not?" she asked, relief spreading through her.  She tensed up again suddenly, a little worried about his motives.  "So, what is it?"

Ryan didn't even know where to begin.  "Uh…perhaps you should sit down."


	3. Miracles

CHAPTER THREE: MIRACLES

Six months later (Beginning in the episode 'Flooded') 

The gang sat around the table at the magic box, Buffy standing just a little outside the circle.  She had been back for nearly a month and still felt incredibly out of the circle.  Plus, practically hating all the members of said circle really wasn't conducive to her feeling included.

But, they were her friends, and she could only really blame herself for not feeling part of the circle.  She hadn't told them about where she had really been, though telling Spike had certainly been a load off her chest.  

"This your guy?" Dawn asked, holding a book out towards Buffy so she could have a look at the picture.

"You do research now? Want a cappuccino and a pack of cigarettes to go with it?" Buffy asked sarcastically.

Dawn just rolled her eyes and continued holding the book out to her sister.  "Would you just look at the picture?"

"Doesn't exactly fit the profile for your typical bank robber," Xander commented.

"Maybe they turned down his loan application," Buffy said, still a little angry that her application had been turned down. She still had no idea of how she was meant to pay the bills, keep food on the table, slay and somehow find a new job seeing as she couldn't go back to the Bronze.  It was all far too much for her.  "That's him. Big bad. This thing was strong guys. No weapons that I could see, but…"

She trailed off as she heard the bell above the door to the Magic Box sound.

"…still…real…dangerous."

The group turned to see what had caught her attention, fearing that it was the demon from earlier come to finish the job of killing the Slayer.  Suffice it to say, they were considerably relieved when they saw Giles instead of the bank-robbing M'Fashnik.

Giles stared at his Slayer, his heart pounding in his chest.  There she was, standing in front of him, confident as ever and taking charge of the group.

Buffy could only stare back at her Watcher, feeling her heart beginning to rise into her throat.  She could feel tears welling in her eyes, but she blinked them back.

Giles put his suitcases down and began walking towards her, Buffy meeting him halfway.  They stood there, standing face-to-face as though neither one could believe that the other was truly there.

"Oh God, Buffy," he whispered.

He pulled her into his arms, hugging her tightly.  She hugged him back, pulling him as close to her as she could get him.  She closed her eyes, just savouring the feel of him.

"You're alive. You're here. And you're still…remarkably strong," he said, happily, a little laugh in his voice.

Willow smiled in the background, happy to hear a laugh coming from Giles.  It had been far too long since she had seen him smile let alone laugh. She knew she'd done good.

"Huh? Oh. Sorry," she said, reluctantly letting him go.  She stepped back, still marvelling at his presence.   She hadn't realised how much she was missing him until she saw him standing in front of her. It was as though a part of her soul had re-entered the room when he had walked in.

"Willow told me, but I didn't really let myself believe…" he admitted.

"I take a little getting used to. I'm still getting used to me," Buffy said, almost having forgotten that she wasn't entirely happy to be back here, alive.  With Giles here it almost seemed as though it was possible to get better.

"It's, uh…you're…" 

She smiled at his stuttering.  The word-smith himself was dumbstruck.

"A miracle?" she asked, half-teasing.

"Yes. But then, I always thought so," he said.  He brought his hand to her cheek, just wanting to touch her to assure himself that she was indeed standing in front of him.

She smiled, thinking that just having him here made everything seem so much easier.  Behind them, Xander coughed a little, unsure of what to make of the emotional display in front of him.

Giles stepped back, suddenly self-conscious of the intimate moment he had shared with his Slayer in front of a room full of people.  He went slightly red and watched as Buffy just closed her eyes and sighed.  He knew he needed to talk to her alone.

~*~

"So," Giles said, hating the awkward silence that was hovering between himself and his Slayer.  He gave the punching bag a half-hearted tap and looked at her.

"I can start," she offered, sitting down on the small green couch.  "How was England?  How was…life?"

"Uh, I'm not really sure how to answer that. Um, well, I arrived home, I, uh, met with the Council," Giles said.

He didn't notice Buffy start when he referred to England as home.  She tried to cover it up.  "Always a good time."

"Yes. Otherwise, there's, uh, nothing really to report. I, um, I keep a flat in Bath. I, I, uh, met with a few old friends. Almost made a new one, which I think is…statistically impossible for a man of my age," he said lightly.  He took off his jacket, his body becoming unbearably hot due to his nervousness.

What exactly does one say to the girl you had buried over five months ago without it sounding overly clichéd.

"And now you're back," Buffy stated.

"Yes."

"Wow Giles, are you miserable about it, or just really British?" she asked, more than half serious.

He took off his glasses out of habit and missed Buffy's half smile at his movements.  "I can't lie to you, Buffy," he said, sitting beside her on the couch. "Leaving Sunnydale was, uh, was difficult. And, uh, coming back was…"

"I'm guessing the word is 'inconvenient'?" she asked sadly.

"No," he said, a note of absoluteness in his voice.  "Bewildering."

She looked down, not wanting to see the sheer volume of emotion in her Watcher's eyes.  She sighed as she felt his hand on her shoulder.  Instinctively, she leant into him, wishing that his comforting gesture could take away all of her pain.

"And how are you?  Really?  You look tired," he said, his eyes imploring her to tell him the truth.

She very nearly did, holding back only because she had seen the look of complete happiness when she had first seen him.  She didn't want to detract from that.  He deserved to be happy about something, and even if she wasn't happy about being back, she could be happy for his happiness.

"Me?  Nah.  Fine," she said, hoping to sound convincing but failing miserably.

Giles just looked at her, and she felt her heart catch in her chest.  She had missed that look.

"I mean, yeah, you know, sleeping's hard, but…just because of the whole waking up in a box thing. So maybe waking up's the problem. You know, but just for a second. I sleep okay. Great even. Except, you know, for the dreams…" she trailed off, not wanting to think about them.  She quickly changed the topic, hoping he wouldn't question her on the constant nightmares she had been having.  "And everything seems so different now."

He looked at her, a little confused.  "Different?  How?"

She gave a small shrug.  "Well…the house for one.  Will and Tara are there.  Dawn's taller than I am now, and…I'm completely broke.  And…and you.  You're…not exactly around."

He placed his hand back on her cheek.  "I'm back permanently Buffy."

"Thank you," she whispered.

He nodded and removed his hand reluctantly.

"I could uh…I could go and speak to Phil at the Bronze if you'd like.  See if we can get you're old job back," he said gently.

She looked up, startled.  "You know about the Bronze?"

He nodded and she looked away, ashamed that she had never told him the whole truth about her activities.

"And about your letters to Faith," he said.

Her jaw almost dropped and she went to apologise.  He held a hand up, indicating that it wasn't necessary.

"You don't owe me any explanations Buffy.  Or any apologies.  You…you did the right thing by contacting her."

Buffy nodded, feeling a little relieved that he wasn't going to lecture her.

"I've tried to get in touch with her…since I got back," Buffy admitted.  "But, the uh…the letters kept coming back."

Giles blanched, having almost completely forgotten about Faith's suicide.

Buffy saw the look of dismay pass over his face and she immediately felt her heart sink.

"What?  What is it?" she asked.

"About…about Faith," he began slowly, not entirely certain of how she would react.  She looked at him, prompting him to continue.  "She uh…she passed away Buffy."

She looked at him, wide-eyed.  "What?  When?"  If she hadn't have been sitting down already, she would have fallen from the weight of his words.

Giles could see the absolute shock and pain that flashed through his Slayer's eyes.  Even though it was hurt he saw, it was better than the emptiness of earlier.

"Nearly six months ago.  The uh…the day that you died, she uh…she killed herself that evening," Giles said softly.

"Oh my god," Buffy whispered.

Giles took hold of her hand and gave it a small squeeze.  She didn't pull away, nor flinch at his touch.  He watched as a tear fell from her eyes, leaving a small wet trail on her cheeks.

"She uh…she left a note, and, uh…she gave all of your letters to me as well.  She uh…she said I could read them," Giles said.

Buffy could feel herself going red at the thought of what was in some of those letters. 

"Giles-" she started, not even certain of how to explain what she had been writing to Faith about for over 16 months.

He shook his head and lifted a hand to her face. "You don't have to explain anything to me Buffy.  You don't have to say or do anything, alright?"

She nodded dumbly, still unable to get over Faith's suicide.

"Did uh…did she say why?" Buffy asked after a few moments of silence.

Giles nodded and stood up.  "I have her note and uh…everything else that she gave me in my suitcase," he said.

She breathed out slowly and accepted his hand to help her up.  They walked out to the show floor of the Magic Box only to find it empty.

"Where'd the others go?" Buffy asked.

Giles shrugged as he bent down to pick up his suitcase.  "Perhaps they realised that we had a considerable amount to discuss."

Buffy nodded and sat in one of the chairs near the table.  Giles walked over, shoebox in hand and placed it in front of her.  She touched the worn out box gently, almost as though she feared it would disintegrate by even the slightest bit of handling.

Giles saw her hesitation and opened the box for her.  She almost gasped when she saw how many letters were stacked neatly in the box.  She hadn't realised how often they had been writing to each other.  She herself had kept everyone of Faith's letters, though they had been stashed in a larger box, and didn't seem to be as many.

Giles took out the small folded paper that had been addressed to him and handed it to Buffy.  She read it silently, tears slipping down her cheeks.

"I can't believe she would do that," Buffy whispered after a moment.

Giles nodded and sat down in a seat next to her.  "It was rather…unexpected."

Buffy looked up at him, wondering if he had meant that as a cutting comment towards her.  When she saw no accusation in his eyes, she knew it wasn't what he had intended.

"I should have told you.  About the letters.  And the job," Buffy admitted softly.  "I'm sorry."

"Please, don't feel as though you have to apologise to me.  It, uh…it made perfect sense after a little bit of thought," Giles said.

Buffy nodded gratefully and looked away from her Watcher.  After a moment she looked up again.

"That means there's a new Slayer then, doesn't it?" Buffy asked.

Giles nodded and cleared his throat.  "She uh…she hasn't been sent to the hellmouth yet, so…I haven't met her.  The…the Council weren't entirely…forthcoming with their information regarding the new Slayer except that she's a young Australian girl.  Quite frankly, I didn't really want to know at the time." 

Buffy sighed and sat back in her chair, trying to sort out all of this new information.  

She looked over at Giles and suddenly smiled.  "I missed you," she said.

He smiled widely and gave a half-laugh.  "To say that I missed you as well would be an incredible understatement."

She smiled and stood up.  "Can I…I mean, do you mind if I…" she gestured to the box and he smiled, giving her a small nod.

"Go ahead," he said.

She nodded gratefully and replaced the lid.  She turned to leave but stopped, turning back to him.  She leant down and hugged him tightly once more, giving him a small kiss on the cheek.

"I'm glad you're back," she said honestly.

He smiled widely and stood up to give her a proper hug.  "It is so good to see you again Buffy.  When Willow called, I…I'm sorry I didn't come sooner."

She shook her head, telling him to not ever give it a second thought.  "You had life stuff to deal with.  And you're here now.  Thank you."

"You're extremely welcome," he replied, smiling broadly.

She gave a parting grin and walked out, leaving Giles staring at her back in amazement.


	4. Engaged

CHAPTER FOUR: ENGAGED

A Week Later 

Erika sat, her knees huddled at her chest.  She was sitting on the front porch of her Watcher's house, waiting for a car to pull up front.  Her bags sat next to her, packed and ready to go.  In her hand, she held a plane ticket, one way to the Los Angeles Airport.  At any other time, she would have been excited to have been going to America, but now, all she felt was complete dread.

She didn't want to leave Sydney, but…she had no choice.  She had nothing left here for her anyway.

Her Watcher, friend, confidante, lover and fiancée, Ryan was dead.  Killed by vampires.  When she had found his body lying on the grass outside his house, his body gone cold and his hands clammy, she had cried for seven hours straight before finally exhausting herself to sleep.

The funeral had been two days later.  That was nearly two weeks ago.

It had taken the Council two weeks to make arrangements for her to move o Sunnydale to be put under the care of another Watcher, and in those two weeks, her entire world had completely collapsed around her.

The Master vamp in town had taken a particular interest in her and had begun to stalk her, sending her taunting love notes and small tokens of 'affection'.  It was he who had killed her Watcher.  For that, she had solemnly vowed to kill him and every one of his minions.

It proved to be a more difficult task than she had imagined.

Surrounded, she looked around in fear, her stake still poised and ready as Ryan had taught her.  She quickly calculated how many vamps there were, trying to estimate the odds of her survival.

Eight.  Eight of them stood guard around her.  She turned in circles, not wanting to take her eyes away from the small army.  With only one weapon and still not at her full potential, she knew that the chances of survival were practically slim to none.

_A hole was made in the circle and Erika watched as another vampire stepped into the ring, the circle closing behind him.  She stared at him, defiance and hatred in her eyes.  His demon wasn't showing, which angered Erika even further.  He was a monster, he should at least have the decency to show it._

_"You seem angry Slayer," he said, his voice gentle as it always was when he addressed her.  He spoke to her as one would address a lover, and that angered her to no end._

_"You killed my Watcher," she replied, not letting her emotions even begin to surface._

_The vampire, who she had found out was named Jack Sampson before he had been turned, gave an apologetic shrug._

_"Terribly sorry," he said, his voice showing no remorse whatsoever.  He gave a grin, which scared her more than anything else ever had.  "Oh, I've got someone for you to meet by the way.  My newest childe."_

A horn honked and Erika looked up, startled by the presence of a sleek black car.  She stood up slowly, her limbs still sore.  With her good hand, she picked up her luggage and made her way to the car.

The driver hopped out and helped her with the rest of her luggage.  He handed her an envelope with her name typed on it.

"Instructions on where to go when you get to Los Angeles miss," he said politely.

Erika just nodded and got into the car, staring sadly at her Watcher's house as they pulled out of the driveway.  She closed her eyes and let the tears fall, trying to remember happier times of her life and unable to even remember that she had been ecstatic only three weeks ago.

_The restaurant was crowded, music playing in the background.  There were couples on the dance floor, moving gracefully in circles.  Ryan looked across at Erika nervously and tugged at his tie._

_She smiled at him and he gave a nervous grin back.  She suddenly felt a little worried._

_"What is it?  What's wrong?" she asked softly._

_He shook his head, trying to avoid having to answer.  "It's nothing."_

_"Ryan, come on.  I know you.  You seem…almost nervous," she commented._

_He coughed slightly and subtly placed his hand into his pocket, grabbing hold of a small velvet box._

_"Well, uh…now that you mention it," he said.  "I am a little bit nervous."_

_Oblivious, she looked at him.  "Why?"_

_He stood up and quickly knelt down in front of her, Erika's eyes going wide as she saw him hold up a small box with a ring inside it.  It seemed as though the entire restaurant went silent, several patrons watching the display this young couple was making._

_"Erika, I've loved you since the day I met you.  You've taught me so much about life and love, and nothing would give me more pleasure than if you would be my wife," he said, thankful that he had memorised his spiel earlier in the week.  "Will you marry me?"_

_She stared at him in shock, not having been prepared for him to propose to her.  They had never even discussed marriage at all, and this proposal seemed to have come from nowhere._

_She breathed in deeply, her nerves suddenly coming forth.  A smile came to her face and a single tear fell from her eyes._

_He leant up and kissed her softly.  "Is that a yes?" he whispered._

_She nodded, too astounded to even form words.  She finally found her composure once more and threw her arms around him.  "Yes!  Of course it's a yes!"_

------------------------

She fiddled idly with her engagement ring that still adorned her finger.  It was a gorgeous silver band with three tiny diamonds closely spaced to each other.  She closed her eyes, seeing only Ryan's gorgeous blue eyes behind her eyelids.  She sighed and opened her eyes again, staring blankly out the window.

"Attention please passengers, next stop Sunnydale," the driver said.

She sighed and stood up, reaching up to get her luggage out of the overhead compartment.  The bus came to a jerky halt and she awkwardly hopped off the bus.  She looked around the bus depot and sighed quietly.

"I don't think we're in Kansas anymore," she whispered to herself.

Erika looked up and saw a man holding up a sign with her surname marked clearly on it.  The Council had told her that there would be a cabby standing there to collect her, so she wandered over to him.  He graciously picked up her luggage without hesitation and walked her to a cab.

She stepped into the car and leant her head against the cool window, just wishing that this day would come to an end.  She was sick of travelling, and already sick of the American accent.

Twenty minutes later, the cab pulled up in front of UC Sunnydale, and the driver helped her get her luggage to the front desk.

She had to admit, the Council certainly had made fairly good arrangements for her.  They had arranged travel and accommodation, her enrolment at the college, and had given her information on how to get in contact with her new Watcher.

She sighed quietly as the cab pulled away, leaving her stranded in an unknown town in an unknown country.  It was all she could do not to curl herself into a ball and cry herself to sleep.

~*~

(Set at the beginning of Life Serial.  Sorta.  Before he's given her any money.  Just pretend she never went to see Angel.)

Buffy watched in fascination as her Watcher paced cross the small training room, cordless phone in his hand.  He had been intermittently running his free hand through his hair in exasperation, and Buffy still had yet to figure out whom he was talking to.  When she had asked, he had politely brushed her off with a gesture telling her to be quiet.

"Yes…yes, I understand.  No, I know that.  Yes.  Yes.  Alright, that will be fine.  Uh…yes, yes it is.  Oh.  You did?  Really?"

She stared up at him as she heard the note of interest in his voice.  He waved telling her not to question him until he was off the phone.

"Oh…yes, well.  Thank you.  That was…extremely generous of you.  Yes, I'll be sure to relay that message.  No.  No, I really don't think that's a good idea. Yes, I'm certain.  Alright.  Yes.  Thank you."

With that he hung up and smiled broadly at his Slayer.

"What?  You're smiling," she said, a smile creeping onto her face as she watched her Watcher.  

He could only keep grinning.  He raced towards her and lifted her into the air, swinging her around happily.  She laughed at his antics and hit him softly when she was placed firmly on the ground once more.

"Okay, now you're just scaring me," she teased.

He ran a hand through his hair once more and sat her down on the couch, his hands on top of hers.

"That was the Council," he said.

She looked at him, confused.  "The Council?  As in, stuffy Watchers and tea and scones and glares and rudeness?"

He scowled at her, but the smile remained.  "Yes.  It seems they heard about you're…well, you being back here.  They uh…they're reinstating me as your Watcher."

She smiled, grateful that he would be able to be her official Watcher again, but still unsure as to why he was so excited about it.

"Okay…so…yeah, that's definitely of the good but…why the big grin?" she asked.

"Well, the long and short of it is this.  They knew you would have problems getting reinstated back at the college, so they took the liberty of arranging it for you," he said.

A grin broke out on her face.  "Are you serious?  That's fantastic!"

He smiled at the grin on her face, thankful that some good news had finally come in.  "They've also, uh…they uh…looked into your financial situations and uh…cleared your debts."

She looked at him, wide-eyed.  "What?!  Why?"

"Buffy, you are the Slayer.  They knew you were in trouble, especially seeing as…well, you don't really have time to get a job that would pay enough to keep you…alive," Giles explained.

"So, they're just…what?  Paying all of my bills?" she asked.

"Well, they um…they're taking half of my salary and giving it to you," he explained.

Her face dropped at his words.  "Giles, no.  I can't take that money.  It's yours," she said.

Giles brought his hand up to her cheek, which was a little flushed from her earlier excitement.  "Buffy, I would like nothing more than to be able to help you out through all of this.  And if you giving you half of what I earn as a Watcher will help you, then I am more than happy to give you half."

She smiled at him, his eyes telling her that he was indeed telling the truth.

"But…how are you going to afford everything?" she asked, still a little concerned.

"I still own sixty percent of the Magic Box Buffy.  And if Anya can survive on forty percent with her expensive tastes, then I'm sure I'll be more than capable of surviving on sixty," he said.

She smiled thankfully at him.  She sighed in relief, thanking whatever higher powers she had been praying to for a miracle had actually listened and granted her wish.

"Wow.  I can't believe the Council would do this for me," she said.

Giles smiled and gave a small chuckle.  "After your last confrontation with the Council, I think you made quite a good impression on them.  Most of Travers' entourage had never even met a Slayer, and…seeing you for the first time, I think they realised that there's more to being a Slayer than just slaying.  There's the person behind it all."

She smiled and leant back against the couch, not objecting to Giles embrace when he pulled her closer.

"Any other goodness from the Council that I should know about?" she asked.

He smiled at her sudden change in attitude towards the Council that had often betrayed her and hurt her more than words could express.  It wasn't as though she was easy to please, but…like Anya had said, if Buffy could forgive demons and give them a second chance, why shouldn't she be able to forgive the Council?

"Well, it seems they uh…they got me a job at UC Sunnydale.  As a history professor," he said.

She turned in his embrace to look at him.  "Really?" she asked, excited for him.  He nodded and smiled down at her, shifting his weight to make her more comfortable as she turned back around.

"When do you start?"

"Monday," he replied.  "And you can go back on Monday as well."

"Cool.  I still can't believe the Council did all of this for me.  And you.  Thank you.  So much," she said softly.

"You're welcome," he replied, his hand coming up to stroke her hair gently, pulling her closer to him.

She closed her eyes, thankful that things finally seemed to be looking up.

"There uh…there is another thing I should probably warn you about," Giles said.

She nodded sleepily, her eyes still closed.  "Mmm?"

"The uh…the new Slayer's here in Sunnydale," he said quietly.

Her eyes opened and she leant her head back to try and look at him.  "Why?  We're not having another apocalypse that I should know about, right?"

He chuckled a little and shook his head.  "No, nothing like that.  She uh…her Watcher was…killed nearly two weeks ago."

Buffy went quiet for a moment, the comment hitting home a little too close.  "Oh."  She held onto her Watcher a little more tightly.

"Yes, and uh…there aren't any other…fully trained Watchers except for myself and uh…well, Wesley, but, they fired him, so…I am to be her Watcher as well," he explained.

Buffy felt a twinge of jealousy rising up within her.  She _really_ didn't want to share her Watcher with anyone else, especially not the new Slayer.  She had never enjoyed seeing Giles' interaction with Kendra, seeing as how well they got on in the research department, and Faith's reaction to her Watcher when she was first in town had certainly made Buffy open her eyes up a little towards him.

Even though she as constantly making jokes about his age, she honestly didn't think too much about his age.  It was just to see if she could make him scowl at her, an expression which she thought made him look adorable.  _Not that he isn't already adorable anyway,_ some part of her mind whispered.  For some reason, when Olivia had been in town so many years ago, she had seen red when she had walked in to see Olivia in one of Giles' shirts. 

Buffy sighed and leant in closer to her Watcher.

"You alright?" he asked softly, his breath making her neck tingle.

She nodded, too unsure of her voice to speak.  She was afraid that it would waver if she even tried to explain what she was feeling.

He waited for a reply but soon saw he wasn't going to get one.  He leant his head against hers and closed his eyes, just marvelling at the feeling of having his Slayer in his arms.  Ever since she had been back, he took every opportunity he could to touch her, just to make sure that she was actually there and that she wasn't just a figment of his overactive imagination.  Sometimes he would race to her house and check her room to make sure he hadn't been dreaming the entire thing.

"You know you'll always be my Slayer, don't you?" he asked, guessing what had caused her to go quiet.

She nodded, but he could feel her hesitation.  "No one could ever take your place.  No one."

She smiled a little at his words and didn't stop him when he continued.

"I remember when I was fired," Giles said, his voice low, his mouth still close to her neck, making her shiver slightly.  He smiled at her reaction and held her tightly.  "I was so afraid that you would hate me. That I would lose you to Wesley.  But you made sure that I knew that I would always be your Watcher, no one else.  So…now it's my turn.  You will always be my Slayer.  Mine, and no one else's."

She smiled and felt her body relax in his arms.  He bent his head down cautiously, extremely hesitant.  He was afraid of her reaction, but he had to know.  He brought gentle lips to the crook between her shoulder and her neck and kissed it gently. 

He felt her loll her head forward to grant him better access to her skin.  The feeling of his lips on her was incredible.  She was having trouble thinking let alone remembering to continue breathing.  

He smiled against her shoulder and trailed tiny kisses up her neck.  He gently shifted her onto his lap so that he could reach her mouth.  He teased her for a moment, kissing her jaw, making her give a barely audible whimper.  His mouth finally found hers and he kissed her softly, slowly.  He brought her hand up to touch his chest so she could feel his heart racing.

She looked up at him, a smile dancing on her lips.  She breathed in shakily, and moved her hand up to his cheek, gently touching the stubble on his cheeks.  She moved her hand into his hair, playing with the slight curls at the back of his head.

She pulled his head down slowly and met his lips with hers, their tongues dancing, both minds completely void of anything other than the feel of each other.

They both pulled away breathless, still a little unsure of where they stood with each other, though Buffy couldn't have been more thrilled.

"I love you," she whispered, her eyes never breaking eye contact with his.

He smiled and brought his hand up to touch her face, kissing her softly before replying.  "I love you."

She smiled and settled into his arms, wondering if this night could possibly have been any better.


	5. Nervous

CHAPTER FIVE: NERVOUS

Erika walked through the campus of UC Sunnydale, trying to avoid the rushing students who seemed to be everywhere at once.  She was tired and irritable, two things that were never good for a Slayer.  _Ex-Slayer_, her mind told her.

She sighed and finally found the right building.  She looked down at her time-table, wondering whether anyone would even miss her if she just didn't show up for her lectures.

The Council would find out of course.  And then they'd tell her off.  Again.  And as much as she really wanted _that_ to happen again, she knew she could live without ever having to see Quentin Travers again.

She took a crumpled piece of paper from her pocket, staring at the two names she had been given of the people she should get in contact with.

Rupert Giles and Buffy Summers.  

Ryan had briefly explained that there had been two Slayers due to Buffy dying for a few minutes and being brought back by CPR.  She scrunched the paper into a ball in her hands and casually dropped it into a nearby garbage bin.

"Oops," she said softly, a small smile dancing about her lips as she let the paper go.

If the Council questioned her, she would just say that she'd lost it.

She sat down at an empty table on the grass and put her head down, wishing that the world would just swallow her whole.  She didn't want to be here, and she definitely didn't want to be attending UC Sunnydale.  She wanted to be back in Sydney where she at least knew people.  Even though she knew her life had been torn apart back there, she at least had a semblance of a life there.

Here, she was just Erika Wylcroft, international student from Sydney Australia.  

She closed her eyes and tried to think of Ryan.  All she could see however, was what had become of him playing over and over again in her mind.

_Jack Sampson stepped aside and Erika watched as the group split again to make way for a new vampire to enter, his fangs beared.  She looked at Sampson, not understanding the significance of his sudden announcement._

_"Yeah?  So?" she asked petulantly._

_He smiled and turned to the other vampire.  The vamp grinned suddenly shifting back into his human face._

_Erika gasped and took a step back, shaking her head, her heart having completely dropped._

_"No," was all she could whisper as she saw her Watcher's gorgeous blue eyes staring back at her._

_Sampson smiled, loving the reaction which had been better than he had expected._

_"You know, I heard that you were keen on killing every one of my childers," Sampson said casually.  "I'd honestly like to see that happen."_

_Erika closed her eyes for a moment, a tear falling from her eyes.  She opened them again and glared at Sampson.  _

_"Why don't I just start with you?" she asked angrily._

_He grinned and looked around at his minions.  "No one moves until one of us is dead," he warned._

_Erika was somehow thankful that she wouldn't have to try and take on ten vampires at the one time.  She gave him a pained smile and they began circling one another._

_Erika made the first strike, throwing a punch at his face.  He quickly retaliated, kicking her in the stomach, sending her stumbling backwards.  The vampires surrounding her moved a little, obviously wanting to join in on the fun._

_Two of them couldn't resist and went to join the circle.  Before she could even begin to change her tactics to accommodate for three vamps, Sampson grabbed Erika's stake, dispatched the two disobedient vampires and handed it back to her._

_"Ta," he said, grinning politely at her as she took it off him._

_He was trying to throw her off, and it worked perfectly.  He punched her nose, sending her spinning.  She quickly regrouped and hit him with a roundhouse kick.  _

_They grappled with each other, both of them very evenly matched.  She kicked again, sending him flying to the ground._

_Two vamps behind him went to his aid, but he jumped to his feet.  He glared at them, and they went to retreat nervously.  Erika watched, confused and a little amused when Ryan pulled out a stake from his jacket and staked the two vampires who had gone to Sampson's aid. _

_At least now there were only six, including Sampson and Ryan.  The four minions would be the easy kills, but as for the other two, they would be considerably harder._

A shout from behind her startled her out of her painful reverie.  She shook her head, trying to forget the memories of that night.  She stood up, grabbed her bag and slowly wandered inside, hoping that she could just get through one day without too much trouble.

She moved into the lecture theatre and sat down in the middle where she would blend in with the crowd.  She really didn't want to draw any attention to herself if she could help it.

------------------------

Giles walked across the campus with Buffy who was looking around, taking everything in as though it was for the first time.

"I'd forgotten how big this place was," Buffy said.

Giles smiled down at her and reached for her hand.  "You'll be fine."

She grinned and moved closer to him, giving him a small hug.  

"At least the Council enrolled me in one of your classes," Buffy said.  

Giles pulled her closer to him.  He had been a little surprised that she was willing to display public signs of affections.  He had almost been expecting her not to tell any of the gang about their relationship, but at the first complete Scooby meeting, she had looked at him, smiled, walked over and held his hand, announcing to the group that they had something they needed the others to know.

He had been a little flabbergasted, but the group had responded extremely well to the news.  

Buffy pulled back and looked up at him.

"What?" he asked, a little concerned.  

"You're really nervous," she commented.

He smiled and chuckled a little.  "You know me far too well."

She grinned at him and kissed him lightly.  "You're not nervous about teaching are you? 

He nodded a little and embraced her tightly.  "I haven't taught in years Buffy.  Not since before I worked at the museum before you were called."

She squeezed him round the waist comfortingly.  "You'll be fine Professor Giles," she assured him.

She grabbed his wrist and twisted it so she could look at his watch.  "We're gonna be late if we don't hurry," she said.

He looked at his watch.  "Good lord."

He was about to race off, but she grabbed his wrist.  "Hey, slow down.  There's still time."

He hesitated a little, but complied, bringing his head down, his lips meeting hers.  They kissed deeply and eventually parted.

"Wanna play hooky?" 

He grinned and shook is head, pushing her slightly so that they began walking.  "Believe me, it's incredibly tempting."

And it was.  So far, they had been rather reserved around one another.  The Council phone call had been on Friday night.  They had been together two days, and they were taking everything incredibly slowly.  Giles didn't think that Buffy was ready for anything too serious so soon after being brought back, but he knew it would only be a matter of time.

Somehow, he was a little thankful that he didn't need to worry about her mother or father telling him off for being a manipulative pervert who had been trying to get into her pants for the last six years.

"So, what do you think the new Slayer's like?" Buffy asked as they walked up the stairs towards the lecture theatre.

"I really haven't thought much about it," he replied with a grin.  "I've had…_other_ Slayers on my mind."

She smiled and gave him one last kiss before they entered the room.  "I better be the _only _Slayer on your mind mister," she whispered.

He winked at her and she smiled, surprised by how playful he was when he was completely comfortable.  She sat down near in the middle taking a seat next to a brown haired girl in a half-length leather jacket.  The girl gave a small smile and turned her attention to the Professor.

"Good morning everyone," Giles said.  "My name is Rupert Giles, and as you may have guessed, your history professor."

Buffy saw the girl start a little when Giles introduced himself.  She heard the girl breath in sharply and sink into her chair.  Buffy looked at her a little, but went back to staring at her guy.  It was good that she was able to stare at him for an hour straight without anyone thinking oddly of her.

Buffy happily listened to Giles talking, wondering how she could have missed the gorgeousness of him whilst in High School.  When Faith had been making eyes at Giles, Buffy _had_ been intrigued, but there just seemed to be something a little…wrong with looking at her Watcher in that manner.

But…none of that mattered anymore.  She was back, and for the first time in weeks, she actually felt pretty happy about it.  She'd been miserable without him, but now…he was back, and she was his.  She smiled.  All was right with the world.

The girl next to Buffy began doodling idly after about forty minutes, not even bothering to pretend to take notes anymore.  Buffy looked on unobtrusively, the other girl not even realising she had an audience.  She watched as the girl drew a heart and then proceeded to draw what looked like a stake.

Buffy looked a little closer, still trying to look as though she wasn't looking.  She knew that design almost off by heart.  She had started drawing it when she was fifteen, though she'd never once thought about how she'd learnt it.  It was as though it had just come to her one day.

Buffy sat up in her seat a little.  The girl next to her was the new Slayer!

"Kinda boring, huh?" Buffy whispered, her heart racing with nervousness all of a sudden.

The girl looked up and smiled a little.  She nodded.  "To say the least."

"You'd think they wouldn't start drowning us with information on the first day," Buffy whispered.

"Ah, but then they'd hafta figure out a new form of torture for us all," she replied.

Buffy looked at her curiously.  "You're not from around here, are you?" 

The girl shook her head.  "That obvious?"

Buffy grinned and shrugged a little.  

"I just moved here from Sydney."

"Sydney Australia?"

The girl nodded and Buffy raised her eyebrows, a little impressed.   "Wow.  Why'd you come here?  I mean…no offence or anything but…this town's kind of a…well, hellhole just doesn't seem to cover it."

She grinned and bit back a laugh.  "Yeah, I noticed that."

The room began to buzz with noise as people began getting up out of their seats.  They both looked up, a little confused.

"Cool.  Early mark," Buffy said.

The girl grinned and shoved her notebook into her bag.  

"Hey, you wanna go grab lunch or something?" she suggested.  

Buffy looked down to where Giles was arranging some papers on his desk.  He looked up and caught her eye, and she nodded her head towards the girl next to her.  He looked confused, but she just rolled her eyes and turned her back to him.

"Sure, sounds good."

They headed out and Buffy shot a look towards Giles who stared at her in confusion.  She mouthed the word 'Slayer' to him, but he still didn't get it.  She just shook her head and waved at him, hoping he could forgive her for not eating lunch with him.


	6. Watchers

CHAPTER SIX: WATCHERS

They found an empty bench outside in the sun and sat down, both of them simultaneously pulling out a small tub of yoghurt from their bags.  Buffy grinned, recognising the diet that she had been taught so long ago.

Buffy watched as the girl struggled for a moment, obviously trying to remember something.

"You look confused," Buffy said after a moment.

The girl grinned sheepishly.  "I was trying to remember your name," she confessed.

Buffy grinned.  "We haven't done the name swap thing yet."

"Oh," she said.  "Well, in that case, I'm Erika Wylcroft."

"Buffy Summers," she said.

She watched as Erika's face fell.

"Uh…I just remembered something," Erika said, a little disappointed that the first person she had considered becoming friends with was the one person she was trying to avoid.  She stood up, about to move away.

"Erika, wait," Buffy said.

"Did you know?" Erika asked, almost angrily.  "I mean, was this some grand scheme of yours and the Councils?  Get me to almost relax and then BAM!  Pounce on me the second you get a chance."

Buffy stood up, nowhere near Erika's height, but feeling more comfortable on her feet.

"Look, I honestly didn't know.  I didn't know you were gonna be in that class there, and I didn't sit there cos I knew you were…who you are," Buffy said.  "I only worked it out when I saw you drawing on your notebook, I swear.  And as for the Council, I don't work for them.  And neither do you.  They work for us."

Erika scoffed at the thought.  "You obviously haven't met anyone in the Council then."

"Oh, believe me I have," Buffy said.  "They're a bunch of pompous old Brits who have no idea about any of it.  The only good thing they've done for me is to give me my Watcher."

Erika wanted to believe her.  She looked like someone who would be a terrific friend and…maybe if she had someone who knew the pressures and demands of slaying it wouldn't be as bad.

"I know you've had some really crappy experiences, with slaying and with the Council, so have I, but…this isn't about the Council.  And as much as I hate to admit it, it's not really about us.  It's about them," Buffy said, pointing to all the students who were milling around campus.

Erika sighed, hating that Buffy was using Ryan's logic.

"I don't wanna lose everything again," Erika admitted sadly.  It seemed like a weakness for her to be admitting her fears to almost a complete stranger, but there was a certain kinship between them.  They were both Slayers, and they obviously thought along the same lines.

"I know.  It's hard when you lose things.  When you lose people.  Especially people you love," she said comfortingly.

Erika sat back down and Buffy sat next to her.

"I couldn't save him," Erika said, tears coming to her eyes.

"I know how you feel," Buffy said quietly.

Erika looked up at her.  "You've lost a Watcher?" 

Buffy nodded.  "My first Watcher.  He died and I couldn't save him.  It hurt so much that I'd failed him."

Erika sighed softly and looked down at the ground once more.

"What was his name?" Buffy asked quietly.

"Ryan," she replied.  "Ryan Evans.  Yours?"

"Merrick.  I didn't know his first name," Buffy said.

Erika wiped tears from her eyes and looked up at Buffy again.

"Ever lost the person you loved most to a vampire?" she asked.

Buffy nodded, thinking of Angel becoming lost to the demon Angelus.  It wasn't quite the same thing, but in her mind it was.

"Were they turned?" she continued.

"Yeah.  That wasn't fun," Buffy said.  

"Did you…did you kill him?" Erika asked.

Buffy sighed, suddenly seeing why Erika really didn't want to get back into slaying.  She had had to stake someone she had loved.

"It was the hardest thing I had ever done, but…yeah.  I did it.  I had to.  It was either him or the world, and…well, we're standing here, so…" Buffy trailed off.

Buffy suddenly saw the ring that Erika was playing with.  An engagement ring.  

"The man you were engaged to…he was turned?" Buffy asked gently.

Erika looked up in surprise and then realised she had been fiddling with her ring once more.  She nodded sadly.

"Two weeks ago," she replied.

Something Giles had said the other evening rang clearly in Buffy's mind.  

"Her Watcher was killed nearly two weeks ago."

"I'm sorry," Buffy said.  "Musta been hard.  Losing your fiancé and your Watcher."

Erika looked at her wondering if her new friend truly understood.

"Hard doesn't really cover what I was feeling," Erika said.

Buffy nodded, wishing she knew what to say.  "I don't know what I'd do if I lost the two most important people in my life in one hit."

Erika turned her head and stared at Buffy.  "I only lost the one."

Buffy looked confused for a second and then realised.  "You and your Watcher were together?"

"Yeah," Erika said softly.  "We were gonna get married, defy the Council.  Watchers and Slayer aren't meant to be together like that."

Buffy nodded, remembering that Giles had been fired for loving her, though it had been for having a father's love.  She'd have to take that up with him later and just make sure that he didn't still feel that way.  

"Are…are you and your Watcher…I mean…I know it's really none of my business, but-"

"We're together.  But…we've only been together for two days or something.  It's kinda…very new," Buffy explained.

"And Professor Giles, he's you're Watcher, yes?" Erika asked.

Buffy nodded.  "I heard you kinda gasp when he introduced himself.  It didn't even occur to me that you were the other Slayer."

"I had no idea it was you either," Erika said.  "I mean…no offence, but…you're kinda…"

"If you say small, I may have to kill you," Buffy said, a smile on her face.

  
Erika grinned and leant back.  "Well, I'll just stop my sentence right there then."

They sat in companionable silence until Buffy heard her name being called from across the yard.

She looked up and saw Willow walking towards her, Tara in tow, a grin on Willow's face.  

"Heya Will, Tara," Buffy greeted as they got closer.  "Guys, this is Erika.  Rik, these are my two good friends, Willow and Tara."

Erika politely shook hands with the two girls who quickly sat down on the grass in front of them.

"We just ran into Giles," Willow said, giving her friend an excited grin.  She was still having troubles adjusting to the fact that Giles and Buffy were a couple.  Even though she could see how incredibly right they were for each other, it was still a little wigsome to think of them as being together.  "He said that you'd made a new friend."

Buffy grinned and rolled her eyes.  "Strange concept I know, but…yeah.  I'd like to think so."

Tara saw Erika give a small smile and go back to fiddling with her ring.  She saw the sad look in Buffy's new friend's eyes and quickly decided against questioning her on it.

"So what's new?  How does it feel to be back in college?" Willow asked.

"Kinda strange," Buffy said.  "But…it's nice being back after so long.  Plus, the whole not having to worry about fees thing is kinda nice."

"And Giles seems alright.  I didn't even know he was a professor until just now," Willow said.

"Yeah, the Council got him a job here.  I swear, they've only just started becoming decent," Buffy said.

Willow shot her a look, wondering why Buffy was carelessly talking about the Council in front of someone who was practically a stranger.

"You noticed they too huh?" Erika asked.  "I swear, it was a good thing that they put someone besides Travers in charge."

Buffy looed at her confused, while Willow and Tara exchanged baffled looks.

"Travers isn't in charge?" Buffy asked.

Erika shook her head.  "Not anymore.  The Head of the Council demoted him, so he's pretty much just a regular guy now."

Willow couldn't help but interrupt.  "How do you know about the Council?  You're not training to be a Watcher are you?"

Erika grinned and shrugged.

"Oh…I forgot to mention," Buffy said.  "Erika's the new Slayer."


	7. Nightmares

CHAPTER SEVEN: NIGHTMARES

Later that evening, Buffy found herself lying in Giles' arms, finally feeling happy about being back.  She and Erika had spent the better part of the day exchanging Slayer stories, and had spent the evening patrolling, Buffy showing Erika some of the hot spots of Sunnydale.

Even though Erika was a little reluctant at first, the girl could fight.  Buffy found herself stepping back and just watching, and even though Erika wasn't anywhere near as experienced as Buffy was, there was definitely a lot of potential there.

Giles had been pleased to find out that Buffy had managed to persuade Erika to join her for patrol.  He hadn't been entirely surprised to hear of the younger girls reluctance to get back into slaying, but it was nice that she had accepted her duty, albeit reluctantly.

He'd been a little shocked to find out that Ryan and Erika had been engaged when he had been killed.  The Council hadn't mentioned him being turned either.  The entire concept was one that had shaken him a little.

"I can't blame her for not wanting to get back into slaying.  I mean…if you were turned and I had to kill you…I don't know if I could," Buffy said sadly.

Giles gave her a small squeeze, hugging her tightly.  

They were laying on her bed in each others arms.  It was nice to just be able to curl up with one another and not feel any pressure from either side.  They hadn't discussed sleeping with one another, but they had silently agreed to take things slowly.

"Buffy, you know you could.  You'd do what you had to do," he said gently.

She sighed and leant closer to him.  "I know.  I just…if I had to…do that," Buffy said, not even able to say the words, "I think I'd probably end up going nuts."

"The demon and the person are two very different things," he said quietly.

"I know.  I do.  But…do you think you could stake me if I were turned?" she asked.

She felt him tense in her arms, the very thought of it obviously scaring him.  

He paused and finally whispered his answer.  "No," he admitted.

She snuggled further into him.  "No more depressing thoughts, kay?" 

He smiled and pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead.  "Okay."

She smiled and closed her eyes, her mind beginning to shut down and sleep.

------------------------

Buffy shut up in bed, screaming "No!" loudly, startling Giles who lay next to her.

His arms quickly went around her, his gentle voice trying to sooth her.  Without thought, she tried to break away from him, but he was holding onto her too tightly.  She struggled, her mind not even connecting that it was her Watcher who held her.

"It's okay, Buffy, it's okay," he whispered, rubbing her back softly. "It was just a nightmare."

Her mind suddenly clicked over and she realised who it was that was holding her.  She relaxed against him, tears running down her face.

"I'm sorry," she whispered again and again.  "I'm so sorry."

He hushed her quietly as she collapsed in his arms.

"It's alright luv.  You're alright.  You're here, nothing can hurt you," he whispered.

Giles was completely shaken.  Buffy had mentioned her nightmares to him, but it had been extremely casual.  She hadn't said that she woke up from them in tears, completely disorientated.  It was frightening to see her so terrified and trying to get away.  

"I didn't want to be here," he heard her choke out through her tears.

He felt himself tense at her words.  They didn't seem to make much sense to him, except that she didn't want to be here.  Here in his bed, here in his arms?  Where was here?

He loosened his grip on her, but she didn't let go.  He relaxed a little, glad that she wasn't pulling away from him.

"Didn't want to be where Buffy?" he asked.

She sniffled and buried her face in his chest.  "I didn't want to come back."

He carefully tilted her chin so she was looking up at him.  "What do you mean?"

She swallowed nervously and knew that she couldn't withhold this information any longer.  It was killing her to lie to him, to lie to all of them, but the truth was going to hurt them far too much.  Especially Giles.

"Promise me something?" she whispered.

He nodded and gently touched her face.

"Anything," he replied.

"Don't tell anyone what I'm about to tell you," she said.

He hesitated but finally nodded, seeing that the only way he was going to hear what she had to say was if he never told the rest of the group.  And somehow, he knew that she needed to get this off her chest.

"I promise."

She nodded, not needing him to say anymore than that.  

She closed her eyes and looked down, not wanting him to see her begin to cry, even though he had seen her at her worst so many times in life.  She just hated to be weak, even if it was in front of the man she trusted above all other people.

"I wasn't in hell," she whispered.

She felt Giles take a sharp breath, his breathing suddenly becoming erratic.  She was afraid that he would pull away from her, but her statement made him hold on to her all the more tightly.

He pushed her back gently, trying to look into her eyes, but she wouldn't meet his gaze.

"Look at me," he said gently.

She shook her head, tears running down her face.

"Buffy, please?" he whispered, tears coming to his own eyes.

She sniffled again and slowly looked up at her Watcher.

His heart nearly broke at the sight of his crying Slayer.  She was shaking, both from her nightmare and from fear of his reaction.  She had known that lying to him wasn't the best of ideas, but she hadn't known how to tell him exactly what had happened.

But, being in his bed, and him living in her house, it wasn't easy for her to keep secrets from him, especially when she kept waking up screaming in the middle of the night.

"You could have told me you know," he whispered, trying not to accuse her.

She sniffled and accepted the tissue that he handed her.

"I know.  And I'm sorry.  I should have told you," she said tiredly.

It felt good to have it out in the open though.  It felt good to know that he knew.  That he could help her get through everything that she was trying to deal with.  Even when he hadn't know he had been a great source of comfort for her.

"Why didn't you tell anyone?" he asked.

She shrugged a little and looked down.  "Spike knew."

He tried not to be too hurt by that.  Spike had been there when he hadn't been, and who was he to judge her for confiding in someone who at least knew what it was like to have to crawl out of their own coffin.

He pulled her closer to him, stroking her hair softly.  "I'm so sorry," he whispered, his mouth close to her ear.  His warm breath against her skin made her shiver a little.

"I should have been here.  I should have stopped them," he whispered.

She shook her head and gave him a light kiss.  She could taste his tears, just as she knew that he could taste hers.  She sighed and leant her forehead against his.

"It wasn't your fault," she assured him.  She gave him a small smile and breathed in shakily.  "And it's not _that_ horrible being back.  Not anymore."

He smiled and gently tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear.  "Well, I'm glad to hear that."

She buried her head in his shoulder.  "I can bear waking up if you're here next to me," she whispered.

He held her and lay them both back down gently.  She nestled in closer to him, pulling the covers over them both, throwing her legs over his. 

"I'll be here for as long as you need me," he replied softly.

She smiled and closed her eyes tiredly.  "How about forever?" 

He smiled at the thought.  "I think that can be arranged."


	8. Rik

CHAPTER EIGHT: RIK

Erika looked up and smiled as she saw Buffy take the seat next to her.

"Heya," Erika said brightly.

"Morning," Buffy greeted cheerily.

Erika recognised the smile and tried to keep the smirk to herself.  Buffy just glared at her half-heartedly and watched as Giles went to the front of the lecture theatre.

"Don't suppose you have this afternoon off do you?" Buffy asked.

Erika nodded.  "Yes, thank god.  Too much learning really isn't good for me."

Buffy laughed quietly, ignoring the glare that she got from Giles. 

"Good cos…I was wondering if you wanted to come and meet the gang," Buffy said.

Erika hesitated but finally nodded.  She was being reluctant about opening herself up to people, but, there was also a need for complete acceptance, especially for acceptance from her sister-Slayer.  And, to get along with Buffy, she knew that she would have to get along with Buffy's friends, which didn't sound like an altogether hard thing from what she had been told.

"Yeah sure.  Just tell me when and where," Erika replied.

Buffy nodded, thankful that Erika had agreed.  

"Bout twelve at the front of this building.  I told the others we'd meet 'em for lunch at the shop," Buffy explained.

"What shop?" Erika asked quietly.

"Oh…Giles owns the Magic Shop here in Sunnydale. It's kinda the Scooby headquarters."

Erika nodded.  A few seconds later she looked at Buffy confused.  "What's a Scooby?"

------------------------

"So, who's this new 'friend' of Buffy's anyway?" Xander asked impatiently.

Willow and Tara grinned.

"You mean Rik?" Tara asked.  

"You will _love_ Rik.  That accent, ugh!  To _die_ for," Willow exclaimed.  "And…not that I was, you know, looking or anything, but…very nice-looking as well."

Tara shot her a mock glare.  "But no where near the perfection of you though," Willow added quickly.

The two witches shared a small kiss, Xander watching on in interest.  Anya hit him across the arm, making him yelp slightly.

"So…Buffy and Rik are…close?" Xander asked with interest.

Willow shrugged.  "Well, they only really met yesterday, but…yeah.  They're just going through the 'getting to know you' phase.  But…I think Rik will be really good for Buffy.  Maybe get her out of this funk she's been in."

Xander gave her a confused look.  "I thought Giles was getting her out of her funk."

Willow nodded.  "Oh yeah, totally.  He's been really good for her, but…I just think…well, it'll be good for Buffy to have someone her own age that's kinda…new."

"I don't get it Will," Xander said.  "You think that this thing with Giles and Buffy isn't…isn't gonna work out?"

Willow looked at him, confusion written across both of their faces.

"What does Giles have to do with Rik?" she asked.

"Everything!" Xander exclaimed, outraged that Willow would think that Buffy having someone on the sides would be good for her mental well-being.  "I don't think Buffy should be hanging out with Rik while she's with Giles."

"Why not?  She's not allowed to have friends besides us now?" Willow asked, standing up and walking towards him.

"I didn't say that," Xander defended himself.  "But…"

"But what Xander?" Willow asked.

The bell on the front door rang cheerily and the group turned to see Giles walk through.

"Does he know about this?" Xander whispered.

"Do I know about what?" Giles asked, his hearing better than everyone gave him credit for.

Xander swallowed nervously.

"Well…about Buffy and Rik," Xander said.

Giles gave a small shrug and placed his briefcase on the table.  "Why wouldn't I know about them?  They spent the better part of yesterday getting to know each other.  Buffy told me all about it last night."

"And it doesn't bother you?" Xander asked incredulously.

The bell rang again and Buffy walked in, Erika walking in behind her.

"What doesn't bother who?" Buffy asked, walking over to Giles and giving him a quick kiss.  She stood in front of him and leant back on his chest, his arms circling her waist.

"How can you do this to him?" Xander accused angrily.

Buffy turned in Giles' arms and looked up, a little panicked.  "What have I done?" 

Giles shrugged and looked at Xander.

"What exactly is Buffy meant to have done?" Giles asked.

Erika went to sit at the table with Tara who gave her a shy smile.  

"Are they always like this?" Erika whispered.

Tara laughed a little.  "Oh, this is a good day."

Erika just grinned and watched in fascination.

"She's…she's…she's cheating on you," Xander said angrily.

Buffy glared at him, stepping away from Giles, advancing on Xander who suddenly took a step backwards.

"You have about five seconds to explain yourself before I pull out my stake," she said quietly.

Xander swallowed hard and took another step back, standing behind Anya who instantly moved aside, not wanting to get in the middle of a fight.

"Well…Will said that you and some guy called Rik were going through the 'getting to know you' phase, and…and that it was better for you to have someone your own age so you wouldn't be all upset all the time, and…" Xander stopped his ramblings as he saw a smile break out on Buffy's face.  "And I've made a really, really huge mistake in thinking that, haven't I?"

Giles nodded.  "To say the very least."

Erika stood up and walked towards him.  "We haven't been introduced properly.  I'm Erika.  Better known as Rik," she said, a grin on her face.  She put her hand out for him to shake.

Xander looked at her, completely confused.  He shook her hand, still a little baffled by what had happened.

"But…Will was saying…oh, wait.  Never mind," he said.  It still sometimes slipped his mind that Willow was checking out girls instead of boys.

Buffy grinned.  "Rik, this is Xander.  And Anya."

Anya nodded politely and shook Erika's proffered hand.  

"And you know Will and Tara already.  And…this is my Giles," Buffy said, walking back and taking Giles' hand.

Erika grinned, seeing Giles smile at Buffy's claim of possession over him.

"Nice to meet you all."

The bell above the door rang again and a steaming blanket raced through the door.  The blanket was thrown to the floor, a blonde figure stamping the fire out with his heavy boots.

Erika looked up at Buffy in concern, but Buffy made no attempt to move except to roll her eyes and sit down on Giles' lap.

"What do _you _want?" Xander asked disdainfully.

Spike glared at Xander and jumped off the landing onto the lowered ground.  

"Out for a run," Spike said casually.

Buffy stood up wearily and walked over to him.  

"What's so important that it couldn't wait until after sunset?" she asked.

He hesitated and pulled her aside.  

"Word is there's a new vamp in town.  Pretty powerful bugger as well.  Said he's gunning for the Slayer," he warned.

Buffy crossed her arms over her chest.  "So, I find him before anything bad happens, and make with the staking," she said.

He smirked a little at her arrogance.  She was slowly regaining some of the fire that she had lost when she had died.  And, even though it wasn't him who was putting it back there, he was glad to see that her eyes weren't just emotionless pits anymore.

"He's strong.  He knows his stuff.  And…he's not just looking to kill, Slayer.  He's looking to turn," he said.

She paled at the thought.  Maybe last nights conversation with Giles hadn't been a coincidence after all.

"I just thought I'd give you a heads up.  You do have one thing on your side though," Spike said.

"And what's that?" she asked.

"He's working alone.  He doesn't have minions, and he apparently hasn't turned anyone.  He's pretty gung-ho about this," he said.

"Has he got a name?" Buffy asked.

Spike nodded.  "Ryan something or other," he replied.

Buffy shot a look towards Erika who was busy talking with Tara and Willow.

"He's not after me," Buffy said quietly.

Spike shook his head, confused.  "What do you mean, of course he's after you.  Everyone said he was after the Slayer," Spike said.

"Well, you're telling the _wrong_ Slayer.  There's two of us, remember," she said.

"Well, I ain't heard nothin' about no new Slayer in Sunnydale," he said.

"I can introduce you to her if you don't believe me," Buffy told him.

He looked up and finally noticed the extra person sitting at the table with the witches.

"She's the new Slayer?" he asked.

Buffy nodded.  "I think you kinda shocked her a bit with your dramatic entrance.  I'm surprised you're not all dusty yet." 

"She any good in a fight?" he asked.

Buffy nodded.  "Yeah, she was holding her own last night."

"But…against a master.  Word has it he's quite the fighter," Spike said.

Buffy regarded him curiously.  He sounded almost worried about the new Slayer's life span.

"He should be.  He trained her," Buffy said.

Spike's jaw nearly dropped.  "The git's her bloody Watcher?"

Buffy nodded and quietly shushed him, hoping that the others wouldn't begin to take notice of their whispered conversation.  Especially not Erika.

"Look, this vamp is serious about taking that girl out," Spike said.  "It looks like he's not gonna rest until she's been turned and…a vamped Slayer isn't something you really wanna see.  Just…keep your eye out for her.  Watch her back.  I'll see what else I can dig up on this guy."

Buffy nodded and shot a quick look back at Erika who caught her eye curiously.  Buffy turned away and looked back at Spike.

"Why are you so concerned about this anyway?" she asked.

Spike looked like a kid caught with his hand in a cookie jar.  He tried to relax and play it cool.

"Look, it's bleedin' obvious that I like you and your lot Slayer.  When I heard this guy wanted to kill you…well, it felt like I was losing you all over again," he admitted softly.  

"Spike…you know that…there's never gonna be anything between you and I-"

"I know," he said, holding up his hand to get her to stop.  "I know.  You and Rupert belong together. I hate to say it, but you do.  And…you're getting' better pet.  I can see it in your eyes.  And if you and I can be friends, or…almost friends, then I'll take what I can bloody get."

She gave him a small smile.  She was somehow incredibly thankful that Spike had taken her and Giles extremely well.  She had to admit that she was a little worried that Spike would be violently opposed to the new relationship between Watcher and Slayer, but he appeared to be genuinely happy for them.

"The point is…they can't lose you again.  And neither can I," he said.  "So…I just wanted you to know that you were in a bit of danger."

"Thank you," she said softly.

He smiled and tilted his head to the side, reminding her of a lost puppy dog. 

"You're welcome."

He stood there, just taking her in, still a little unable to believe that she was standing in front of him and that they were friends…or almost friends at least.  

He cleared his throat, obviously becoming uncomfortable with their little deep and meaningful.  

"Anyways, I'll drop by your place tonight, tell you what I can find out."

Buffy nodded and watched as Spike grabbed his blanket and ran out the door.

She turned and walked back to the group, eyeing Erika who stared back, confused.

"Can we talk?" Buffy asked.

Erika looked taken aback by the request but slowly stood up and followed Buffy out to the backroom.  


	9. Confrontation

CHAPTER NINE: CONFRONTATION 

Buffy opened the door to the training room and stepped inside, Erika slowly following her in.  

Erika breathed in sharply as she saw the set-up, incredibly impressed by the room, which had obviously been set up for Buffy.

"Wow," she said under her breath.

Buffy grinned a little, despite her almost anger at Erika for not informing her that her vamped Watcher was still on the loose.

"Your Watcher did this for you?" Erika asked.

Buffy nodded.  "Yeah.  Giles and Xander mainly."

"Wow," she said again.

Buffy went and took a seat on the green sofa, Erika sitting tentatively next to her.

Buffy hesitated before just getting straight to the point.

"Why didn't you tell me that Ryan wasn't dust?" she asked.

Erika paled visibly and Buffy could see her hands beginning to shake.

"How did you know that?" she asked.

"That vamp that just ran in," Buffy said,  "He's a friend.  He just told me that I had a master vamp gunning for me, 'scept when he told me the vamps name, I knew he wasn't looking for me.  He's looking for you."

"He's here?  In Sunnydale?" Erika asked, jumping to her feet. 

She began pacing, biting at her fingernails nervously.

"He's here.  And from what Spike just told me, he's pretty hung up on killing you," Buffy said, not bothering to soften the blow at all.  "Why didn't you tell me that you couldn't kill him?"

"What was I meant to say?  God, if…if Giles got turned, would you be able to kill him?  Could you honestly say that you could look into his eyes and thrust a stake into his heart?" Erika asked, nearly yelling.

In her frustration, the younger Slayer kicked at the punching bag, sending it spinning.  She caught it and settled it down easily.

Buffy couldn't even answer.  

"You couldn't do it, could you?" Erika asked quietly.  "You said you had to kill someone you loved to save the world.  I didn't have that.  I just had to kill him.  And I couldn't.  I was…I was so close, but…he just looked at me, and all I could see was him."

Buffy nodded, knowing what it felt like.  She had been willing to kill Angelus, but to have to kill Angel…that was one of the hardest decisions she had had to make in her life.  But she had made it knowing that if she had let him live, the world would have ended.

"I walked away from him and…I came here the next day.  The Council didn't know that he'd been turned.  I never told them the truth about what happened and when they asked me if he'd risen, I'd told them no.  I knew I couldn't kill him from the very start," Erika said.

"So you'll just let him kill you instead?" Buffy asked.  "Turn you?  Is that what you want?  Do you want to be running from him for the rest of your life?"

"No!" Erika replied angrily.  "And if he had even come near any of my friends, I wouldn't have hesitated.  But he only ever came after me."

"And what happens when he _gets_ you, huh?  Then what?" 

"I don't know, okay?" she replied.  "I don't know what I'll do."

Buffy shook her head sadly watched as Erika sat down next to her once more.

"I can't kill him," Erika admitted.  

Buffy sighed and reached over to give the young Slayer's hand a slight squeeze.  

"What if I killed him for you?" Buffy asked gently.

Erika closed her eyes and leant forward, her head going between her knees.  She thought for a moment then suddenly looked up.

"Your friend…the vamp that just ran in…how can you guys be friends?" she asked.

"It's a long and very complicated story, but I'll try for the condensed version.  Government organisation put a chip in his head, he can't hit, can't feed, can't kill.  He got really annoyed, came to us for help.  We…reluctantly…gave it to him, and…he got kind of attached to us, and we kinda got attached to him too.  He can hurt demons, but not humans," Buffy explained.

Erika sighed.  "Don't suppose that government organisation is still around?"

Buffy shook her head sadly, truly understanding what this girl was feeling.  Buffy had always wondered why she and Spike almost got along when he didn't have a soul.  And it wasn't just the chip that had caused it.  They had made alliances long before the chip had ever happened.  Maybe Spike was just different.

"Got over-run by the demons they were experimenting on," she explained.

Erika gave a small laugh.  "Poetic justice."

Buffy grinned and leant back on the sofa.  "That's about my thoughts on it."

Erika put her head in her hands and breathed in deeply.

"I'm gonna hafta kill him, aren't I?"

~*~

Buffy and Erika patrolled again that night, going on Buffy's usual path.  The blonde Slayer could tell that Erika was feeling particularly unsettled, something that is never good for a Slayer.

Just as Buffy was about to call it quits for the evening, she heard loud yells coming from a crypt on the other side of the bushes.  Erika tensed as she heard it as well.

"Sounds like a party," Erika commented, quickly bringing out her stake from the inside pocket of her jacket.

Buffy grinned, her stake raised.  "Feel like crashing?"

Erika nodded and they both leapt forward, landing in the middle of a group of ten vamps.  Erika gasped at the complete deja vu of the situation.  She quickly regrouped and calmed herself down.

The two Slayers shared a nod and without hesitation, they turned back-to-back and began to fight.

Buffy was a little quicker, taking out two vamps in the time it took for Erika to take down one, though the younger Slayer didn't seem to be struggling.

Her frustration at being followed by her stalking Watcher was coming out through her kicks and punches.  Her fear was emphasised by the pounding that two of the vamps took before she thrust the stake home.

In the middle of it all, Spike jumped into the fray with a loud cry, throwing one of the vamps into a headstone in the shape of a cross, satisfied at the sizzling sound the vamp began making.

Buffy, a little distracted by his sudden entrance, was kicked in the stomach and sent reeling backwards, only to bump into another vamp who grabbed her around the waist.  She quickly leant forward, tossing him over her shoulder and staking him as he fell flat to the ground.

Spike watched as Erika killed the vamp who had kicked Buffy, the vamp not even noticing the second Slayer sneak up behind him.  His face was pure shock as he turned to dust.  Spike turned quickly to the vamp who was beginning to scream in pain and staked the creature, putting it out of its misery.

Spike watched as Erika and Buffy fought with the remaining two, enjoying the sight of the two Slayers fighting.  There was only one thing he enjoyed more than his 'spot of violence before bedtime'.  And that was watching Buffy having a spot of violence before bed-time.

He panicked a little as he saw the second Slayer being thrown by one of the vamps, and he jumped back into the battle without hesitation.  He quickly staked the vampire and turned to help Buffy finish off the final vamp.

He ducked to miss the vamps wild punch and quickly retaliated with a punch of his own.  Before Spike could hit the vamp in the face, the demon crumbled to dust and Spike's fist hit Buffy's face with a loud crack.

She fell to the ground, yelling in pain.

Spike ran to her, apologising like there was no tomorrow.

"Christ Slayer, I didn't mean it, I swear.  I was gonna hit the vamp, but then you dusted him, and I couldn't stop, and…"

"Spike, it's okay.  It was an accident," she said reassuringly.  

She stood up shakily and touched her nose gently.

"You okay?" he asked, touching her arm lightly.  When she didn't brush him off he knew that he had been forgiven and she wasn't just saying that.

"Yeah, it's fine.  Slayer healing.  Where's Erika?" she asked.

"Here," Erika said with a groan.  She stood up and dusted the stray leaves off her backside.  

She walked over to where Buffy was still tentatively touching her nose.

"You alright?" she asked.

Buffy nodded.  "You?"

"As always.  Thank God for fast healing," she said with a smile.

Buffy grinned and looked at Spike who was staring at her, obviously waiting for something.  

"Oh.  Rik, this is Spike, our resident vampire.  Spike, this is Erika.  Don't mess with her, she might forget that you're on our side and you'll end up in one of your own ashtrays," Buffy said.

Spike smirked and shook Erika's hand.  "Nice to meet you pet."

"I'd say the same about you, but…well…it's a little odd shaking hands with a vampire," she said.

Spike shrugged and perched himself on top of a headstone.  "Don't worry luv.  I'm not usually in the business of shaking hands with humans either, so…it's a night of firsts all round."

Buffy laughed a little and hit him lightly on the arm.

"Hey, what did I do to you?" he asked defensively.

She just glared at him and pointed to her nose.  "Need I say more?"

He had the grace to look a little sheepish.  Buffy looked down at her watch and sighed.  

"Wanna call it a night?" Buffy asked, looking at Erika.

Erika nodded and watched as Spike jumped off the headstone.

"I'll walk you ladies home," he said charmingly.

Buffy just rolled her eyes, but let him walk with them.


	10. Hit Me

CHAPTER TEN: HIT ME

They were half a block away from Buffy's house when Buffy stopped walking all of a sudden.  Spike turned to her, looking concerned.

"Slayer?  You alright?" he asked.

She looked at him, her eyes wide and frightened.  

"Hit me," she said desperately.

He couldn't help but stare at her, wondering if she'd gone crazy.

"Sorry?" he asked, trying to work out of she was serious or not.

"Hit me," she repeated.

He shook his head and stepped back.  "I don't particularly fancy a migraine luv."

Her fist shot out and hit his nose.  "Hit me!" she yelled at him.

Erika stepped back, not entirely sure what was going on.  She was tempted to run up the street to Buffy's house and get Giles to come outside and calm his Slayer down.

"Ow, bloody hell!" Spike cried, stumbling backwards, clutching his nose.  "I'm not gonna hit you."

Buffy just glared at him and swung her fist at his face once more.

Erika took off down the street, running as fast as she could to get Giles.  Spike watched, hoping like hell that Giles would be able to work out what had suddenly possessed his Slayer.

"What is wrong with you Slayer?" Spike asked angrily.

She hit him again, making him increasingly madder.

"Stop it!" he yelled at her, grabbing her by the shoulders.  She pushed him away from her and punched him again.

Infuriated, Spike finally punched back just as Giles and Erika arrived.

Buffy went flying to the ground.  She looked up at Spike, tears in her eyes.  He just looked down at her, angry that he had been provoked into hitting her.  Suddenly, he realised something.

No pain.  

Giles stepped forward, placing himself between Spike and his Slayer, though from the look in Spike's eyes, Spike was too shocked to even think about finishing the Slayer off.

"You didn't know about this, did you?" Giles asked.

Spike just shook his head, too shocked to form words.

"No.  I mean…I haven't…I haven't exactly tested it out.  Didn't really like the migraines that came with it," Spike said.  He put his hand up to his head, as though he would be able to touch the chip inside.

Buffy stood up shakily, Giles helping her to stand.  He could see the fear in her eyes, and he understood it.  Spike had been one of her fiercest nemeses.  And if his chip was no longer working, he could go back to killing.

Spike swore softly as he pulled his hand away from his head.  He looked at the Watcher and the Slayers, suddenly wondering where that left him.

"How could…why would this happen now?  I mean…ain't these government chip things meant to be everlasting?   You'd think they woulda been made a little more durable," Spike said, a note of panic in his voice.

Buffy stepped forward and looked at the vampire.  She hadn't expected him to be upset at the prospect of his chip no longer working.  She looked back at Giles, tears in her eyes.

"What if it still works?" Buffy asked.

Spike and Giles both looked at her, wondering why she would ask that.

"Slayer, I just knocked you flat on your bum," Spike reminded her.  "How could my chip be working?"

"Try it again," Buffy said.

Spike shook his head.  "No.  I'm not gonna hit you."

Erika hesitated a moment and stepped forward.

"Then hit me," she offered.

Spike looked at her and shook his head.  "Sorry pet.  I don't hit people I don't know," he said.

Buffy looked at him curiously.  He sighed and rolled his eyes, caught out in his lie.  He bounced on his feet, really not wanting to hit the Slayer who he didn't know.  

"Alright, but…one condition," Spike said.  "No staking me."

Buffy and Erika both nodded and Spike clenched his hand into a fist.

He quickly shot a punch at her and fell to the ground in pain, his chip going off painfully.

Buffy watched in horror and Spike's chip activated.  Her knees gave way and she fell to the ground, tears coming to her face.  

Spike turned to look at her as well, confusion and pain coming over his face.

Giles quickly dropped to his knees, his arms going around the Slayer, but she pushed him away.  

"Don't touch me!" she yelled, scared and a little angry that this was happening.

She quickly stood up, gave a final look at the group and ran as fast as she could.

"Buffy!" Giles called after her.

He went to run after her, but Spike put his hand on the Watcher's shoulder.

"Just leave her be.  She needs a bit of time."

Giles nodded reluctantly and closed his eyes, wondering just how much more his Slayer would have to go through.

The group stood there, each of them deep in thought.  After a few moments, Giles looked up.  

"We should get inside."

~*~

Willow and Tara looked up as they saw the group enter the room.  Willow was on her feet in an instant when she noticed that the group was looking sombre and that they were missing a group member.

"Where's Buffy?" she asked, trying not to panic.

The three of them moved into the living room and sat down tiredly.

"She ran off," Spike answered when he realised that the Watcher was in no condition to explain what had happened.

"Ran off?  Why?" Willow asked.

Spike hesitated, knowing that the witches were oblivious to everything that had been happening in Buffy's life since she had come back.  It was only the vampire and the Watcher who knew the truth of her whereabouts, and suddenly, Spike felt the need to punish the girl who had so carelessly ruined Buffy's life.

"Came back wrong," Spike said succinctly.

Willow sat down, not trusting her legs to hold her up.

"What do you mean?  What wrong?" she asked.

Spike smirked and looked at the Watcher who silently gave him the go ahead.

"She came back _wrong_," Spike repeated.  "You and your bloody magicks."

Willow swallowed hard and Tara grabbed her hand supportively.

"She…she can't have.  I mean…what do you mean wrong?  She's…she's fine.  She's just a little…I mean, wouldn't you be wrong if you'd been tortured in hell for months on end?"

Spike glared at the witch and stood up, moving to stand in front of her.  He wanted to strangle the girl, but the headache from hitting Erika was still present in his mind.

Spike didn't miss the furious look in Giles' eyes as well, and he knew that Buffy had finally told her Watcher the truth. 

"She's not fine Red," he said.  "And it has _nothing_ to do with where she was.  She came back _wrong_ because of _you_ and your bloody spell."

Erika bit her lip, having little to no idea what the argument was about.  Buffy had left out a lot of slaying stories, due to time constraints and not wanting to share too much with someone she barely knew.  She looked at Giles who was looking almost catatonic, worry stretched across his face.  

"There's nothing wrong with her," Willow yelled, standing up suddenly, hating that Spike was looking down at her.

They were standing eye-to-eye, glaring at one another with hatred.

"Oh really?" Spike asked arrogantly.  "Then tell me…why can I hit her?"

Willow paled.  "Maybe your chip doesn't work properly."

Spike smirked at her.  "Oh it works.  I can prove it if you'd like," he said, almost willing to endure the migraine if it meant he got a shot at the witch.

Willow quickly moved away, putting herself behind the coffee table and closer to Giles.

"She's…she's not a demon," Willow said.

Spike shot her a look of complete hatred.

"You knew that she could come back wrong?" Spike accused.

Willow floundered for the right words to say.  Spike jumped the table and grabbed her by the throat.

"Yes or no Red?" he asked angrily.  "Did.  You.  Know?"

Willow hesitated but felt Spike's fingers begin to tighten around her neck.  She pushed him away, half with her own strength, half with magic.

"There was a slight risk, alright?" Willow said.

Tara and Giles looked up at her, Tara gasping slightly.

The quiet witch stood up and left the room, heading towards the kitchen without another word.  Erika quietly followed her, knowing that whatever was about to happen was really none of her business.

Giles stood up and looked at her.

"You knew that she could come back wrong, and you still went ahead with the spell?" Giles asked, wondering how he had ever trusted her above all the others.

"The risk was tiny, I swear," she said, moving backwards.  Her back suddenly hit the fireplace, and she watched as both Spike and Giles advanced angrily.

"What _is_ she?!" Spike yelled.

~*~

Tara sat at a chair at the bench, staring blankly at the wall.  She looked up as Erika came in as well.  Tara gave her a small smile.

"Tell me it's not always this tense around here," Erika said, taking a seat next to Tara.

Tara sighed and shook her head.  "No, it's not.  You just picked a pretty bad time to join the Scooby Gang."

Erika grinned at the expression.  "How long have you been part of it?"

"A little over a year," she replied.  "It's usually a lot less hectic.  Sort of."

"Sort of?" Erika repeated.

Tara hesitated but knew that this girl was going to find out everything in one way or another.

"The anger's usually centred elsewhere, not inwards.  But…lately…ever since Buffy came back, everything's been…tense," Tara explained.

Erika looked at her curiously, somewhat excited by the fact that she might finally find out what everyone meant by Buffy coming back.

"Uh…where was she?" Erika asked.

Tara looked at her, a little shocked that no one had really explained what had happened to Buffy even though everyone had been mentioning it that afternoon at the Magic Box.  No wonder Erika had looked so confused, Tara thought.

Tara stood up and moved around to the other side of bench.  She opened up the bottom drawer and took out a scrapbook.  It belonged to Giles, though the group had claimed it as official Scooby property when Buffy had died.  No one had thought to give it back to him since Buffy had come home.

Tara opened the book to the back pages.  She found what she was looking for and slid the book over to Erika.

Erika read it silently and looked up, now completely bewildered.

"This is Buffy's obituary."

Tara nodded sadly.  "She died.  About six months ago."

Erika looked down at the scrapbook again, making sure she hadn't been reading wrong.

"Is she…she's not a vampire is she?" she asked.

"No.  She uh…she was killed by…well, it's hard to explain, but it was mystical energy.  Uh…her younger sister Dawn is a key of sorts.  A ball of energy that opens up the portals between dimensions.  Dawn's blood opens them, and when her blood stops flowing, it closes them.  Except, Buffy and Dawn have the same blood, so…Buffy closed the portal in Dawn's place.  And…we brought her back," Tara explained.

"How?"

"Magick," Tara said simply.

Erika breathed in sharply.  There was a whole other side to this slaying gig that she had yet to find out about.  Ryan had only really taught her about the demons and vampires.  He had mentioned magicks as a part of what he had yet to teach her, but he had never had the chance.

"So what went wrong?" Erika asked.

Tara shrugged and wiped a tear from her eyes.  "I don't know," she replied miserably.  "Will said it would work but…none of us even thought to question it.  We just wanted her back."

Erika sighed and looked down at the scrapbook again.  There were photos and drawings and silly quotes written throughout it.  She turned to the front of the book went through page by page, slowly learning more about her fellow Slayer, and, somehow, learning more about herself in the process.

------------------------

Willow backed up further against the fireplace.

"I don't know," she said, suddenly feeling a very real fear of being killed by two of the people that she trusted most in the world.

Giles stopped and looked at her in disgust.

"You don't know?" he asked quietly, his voice filling with rage.

Willow ran past them both, putting herself closer to the front door.

"She's not evil, I know that much," Willow said.

The front door suddenly opened and she looked to see Buffy walk through the door, her face dirty and tear-streaked.  Willow breathed in, wondering if she would come out of this in one-piece.  It was one thing against Spike and Giles but another against a Slayer.

Buffy stepped forward and Willow tensed, preparing for a fight she knew she could never win.  Buffy looked as though she was going to yell, but she just looked sadly at her friend and walked past her, going up the stairs.

Giles watched her as she took the stairs slowly, the room suddenly becoming overly silent.

Spike rubbed his face and looked at Giles.

"You should go up there, mate," he said quietly.  

Giles nodded his agreement and tiredly moved up the stairs.  

Spike sighed quietly and shot Willow a final look of disgust before walking into the kitchen, leaving Willow alone with her thoughts, something far scarier than Spike's words of hatred.


	11. Wrong

CHAPTER ELEVEN: WRONG

Giles opened the door to Buffy's room slowly, and found her curled in a ball on the floor, her head resting on her knees.  She looked up as she heard the door open, wiping tears from her eyes.

Giles slowly sat down next to her, leaning against Buffy's bed and not saying a word.  

Buffy gave a small sigh and looked up at the ceiling in frustration.

"You ever wondered whether the Powers that Be are just playing one huge game of 'see how badly we can make Buffy's life _suck_'?" she asked quietly.

Giles sighed and gently took her hand.  She didn't pull away from him as she had done earlier before she had run off, but she didn't lean into his touch either.  He wasn't sure why she wasn't responding, so he just shifted over and pulled her into his arms.

She sighed and leant against him tiredly.

"How can you stand to even touch me Giles?" she whispered, her voice shaking.  "You don't even know what I am."

He placed a gentle kiss on her forehead and slowly moved his lips down the side of her face.

"I know," he whispered, kissing her cheek,  "that you are," he kissed her nose, "an incredible young woman," her neck, "who has survived things that would have made others run screaming," her shoulder, "and managed to come out standing."

He put his hand to her face and gently forced her to look up at him, his lips gently catching hers.  "And I have never loved you more."

He wiped a tear from her face and pulled her tightly to him when she broke out into a fresh round of tears.

He just held her and they rocked gently together as they had done the night before.  

"We're gonna get through this Buffy.  I swear to you.  We will get through this somehow," he promised.  "We'll work it out, and we'll fix it."

She sniffled and clung to him, wanting so desperately to believe his words.

"Promise you won't leave?" she whispered.

"As long as you need me, I'll always be here," he said. 

She smiled, remembering the promise from the previous night.

Her eyes closed and she slowly fell asleep against him, whispering a quiet 'I love you' before falling into blessed unconsciousness.

------------------------

Spike stalked into the kitchen angrily, startling both Tara and Erika.  He stopped when he saw them, not even having realised that they had subtly left the room when the fight had broken out.

Erika looked up at the vampire expectantly.  She had to admit it was a little unnerving to have a vampire in the house with you, one that had no soul and would kill them all in their sleep if he could.

Spike gave a slight grin at the new Slayer.

"You certainly picked a helluva time to come to Sunnydale," he said, taking a seat next to the Slayer.

Erika nodded and grinned a little.  "So I've been told."

The door to the kitchen swung open and Spike tensed, not willing to admit it to anyone else, but he was becoming a little afraid of Willow.  She could hurt him quite badly and he wouldn't even be able to defend himself.

He breathed a sigh of relief as he saw Dawn enter.

"Hey Nibblet," he greeted.

She grinned at him and walked straight to the refrigerator.  

"Seems kinda tense in here.  What's going on?" she asked, grabbing a near empty carton of juice and drinking it from the carton.

Spike hesitated, knowing how thrilled Dawn had been when Buffy had returned unexpectedly.  But, if he told her the truth about Buffy not coming back quite right, and that her sister hadn't been in hell at all, Dawn would probably not cope too well with it all.

"Your sis just got into a bit of a fight with Red, s'all," he explained.

"A fight?  About what?" Dawn asked.

"Just some stuff.  Not to worry.  Everything'll be alright come morning," Spike said reassuringly.

Dawn just looked at him sceptically.  "Riight.  And I'm meant to believe that oh so convincing story because of what reason?"

Spike gave a small sigh and stood up restlessly.

"Maybe you should sit down," he said, offering her his seat.

Dawn looked worried at that and tensed immediately.

"What is it?" she asked, not bothering to sit down.

Spike began pacing, which in turn meant that Dawn was even more concerned than before.  She caught his arm to stop him and he looked down at her, tears in his eyes.

"Tell me what's going on," she said.

He hesitated a moment and finally decided on the best approach for this.

"Uh…you remember that spell you tried after…after your mum passed on?" he asked gently.

She nodded, wondering where he was going with this.

"And you remember how the Doc said that she might not come back quite right?" he continued.

Dawn paled immediately.  She looked up at the ceiling, Buffy's room directly above them.

"She came back wrong, didn't she?" Dawn whispered.

Spike nodded and gently brought the young girl into his arms.  She hugged him tightly, suddenly incredibly afraid for her sister.

"What…what is she?" Dawn whispered, her voice muffled against his leather coat.

"Not too sure Nibs.  But she's not dangerous, you hear?  She's still Buffy.  She's still your sister," he said gently.

Dawn nodded tears in her eyes.  She looked up at the vampire, regarding him seriously.  "I know.  I know she's my sister.  She wouldn't hurt me.  Ever."

Spike nodded and gently brushed a strand of the girls hair behind her ears.

"Should I go up there?  Talk to her maybe?" Dawn suggested.

He smiled gently at her and shook his head.  "S'alright Nibblet.  Rupe's up there with her now.  She's in good hands."

Dawn nodded her agreement and gave the vampire one final squeeze before letting him go.  She looked over at the two girls sitting at the kitchen bench, giving them a small smile before she suddenly realised something.

"Uh…who are you?" she asked.

Erika grinned and stood up, holding her hand out for the younger girl to shake.  

"I'm Erika.  You're Dawn right?" 

Dawn nodded and shook her hand.

"So uh…how do you know…" she trailed off, not wanting to presume that Tara and Erika had come together.

"I met your sister yesterday and…suddenly found myself as the newest member of the Scooby Gang," Erika replied as she sat down again.

Dawn grinned and sat down next to her.

"Welcome to the Gang then," Dawn said.  

Spike began to get restless, feeling the need to go and beat something to a bloody pulp.

"Hey, if the Watcher comes down, can you tell him I was feeling the need for some good old fashioned violence?" Spike asked, heading for the doorway.

"Uh, I might actually go with you," Erika said, feeling a little uncomfortable with the thought of being in a house where everything was slowly crashing down.

Spike hesitated but finally nodded.  "Alright but…no staking me," he warned.

"Hey, you don't bite me, I don't stake you," she said.

He nodded and the two shook hands.  "Deal."

Dawn looked up at her sister's new friend.  "You're a Slayer?" 

Erika nodded and laughed as Dawn's face lit up with excitement.  Her face suddenly fell.

"You're not gonna turn into a psychopath are you?" she asked seriously.

Her question threw Erika off balance, the Slayer regarding her new acquaintance with curiousity.

"Um…I hadn't really planned on it, no," Erika said.

Dawn shrugged and the smile returned.  "Cool."

Spike looked towards Tara during the Nibblet and the new Slayer's exchanged.  She was still looking incredibly upset at the thought of her lover being completely dishonest about the spell they had used to bring Buffy back.  He hesitated before eventually working out what he wanted to say.

"Her heart was in the right place," he said, a small smile on his face.  "Buffy's just gonna need some time and…she'll forgive Red soon enough."

Tara smiled her thanks, not feeling entirely comforted by Spike's words, but touched that he had at least made the effort.

"Make sure you get some sleep pet," Spike said as he moved back to the door, opening it for the new Slayer.  "Next few days are gonna be long and…Red's probably gonna need someone on her side."

"I can't be on her side," Tara said.  "Not after what she did."

"Well…maybe just moral support or sumthin'.  She'll go off the deep end if we all go off at her," Spike said.

Tara nodded understanding what the vampire meant.  It was strange that he knew the group so well, yet only Buffy seemed to know the first thing about him.  Tara resolved to get to know him a little bit better as soon as everything became a little quieter.

She couldn't help but grin as Spike held the door open for Erika and gently placed his hand on the small of her back as they went down the stairs.  Perhaps Spike would be able to get over his love for Buffy a little sooner than he thought.

------------------------

Spike and Erika walked in silence, a little uncomfortable around each other.  Spike eyed her silently, taking in how nervous she was.  Somehow he knew it wasn't just because he was standing next to her.  She was fiddling with what looked like an engagement ring.  And he would be willing to bet his unlife that her fiancé was the vamp who was now out to turn her.

Erika saw him looking at her, but didn't say anything.  She was a little uncomfortable around him, but she knew he couldn't hurt her.  Although, the chip only activated after he had hit her, if he really wanted to kill her, he probably could have.

She had, however, seen how he was with Buffy and the Scoobies.  She could see that Spike loved them, and was staunchly protective of Buffy, almost to the point of obsession.  

"You're in love with her, aren't you?" Erika asked suddenly.

Spike looked at her curiously, trying to play it cool.  "With who?"

She rolled her eyes and stuck her hands in her pockets.  "With Buffy," she said.

He shrugged casually, almost indifferent, nodding as though he were admitting to liking chocolate or something of the like.

"Could say that.  Ain't got a snowball's chance but.  She's with Rupert, 'bout bloody time," he said.

She shook her head, confused.  "You don't mind?"

He gave another shrug as though he didn't care either way. 

"She's not been the happiest since she got back," he explained.  "And…if being with Rupert makes her happy, then I say go for it.  I've been wonderin' bout them for years, but they never got together 'til after."

"After she died?" Erika asked.

"Well, after she came back, but…yeah.  She was off with sodding Peaches or her nancy boy tin soldier." 

Spike looked at Erika's confused expression and grinned.  "Best ask the Slayer bout them luv," he said. 

"And…you and the other Scoobies?  You guys get along?" she asked.

Spike scoffed at the thought.  "Hell no.  Well, me and the Nibblet are chums and I used to like Red, but…dunno if I can forgive her.  The other Wicca's alright though."

"Red?  You mean Willow?" 

Spike nodded.  "Our very own Sabrina.  Scept…bordering on evil."

"And the other Wicca's Tara, yeah?" 

"Yup.  Demon girl, that's Anya.  The whelp, that's Xander.  Watcher, that's Rupert obviously.  Slayer…well, that's Buffy.  No offence to you luv, but…I've been calling 'er that for years," he explained.

"None taken," she replied.

She couldn't explain it, but she actually liked this vampire.  He was honest, a quality she very much liked.  He didn't hide the fact that he was a vampire, or the fact that he would probably die for Buffy if he had to.

"Oh, and the Nibblet.  That's Dawn," Spike said.

"Dawn…the glowy ball of energy, otherwise known as Buffy's younger sister made by some weird group of monks," Erika said.

Spike grinned down at her.  "Not bad.  You've done your homework."

Erika shrugged.  "Tara was explaining it to me.  I reckon she woulda talked 'bout anything to keep her mind off Willow."

"Yeah, can't say I blame her.  Just thinking 'bout what Red did…"

He trailed off, letting Erika fill in the expletive.  She got the sub-text.  He had wanted to kill the witch, chip or no chip.

"Why'd they bring her back?" Erika asked.  "I mean, I get that they missed her, but…that seems kinda slack to just bring her back like that."

Spike nodded, glad that someone beside he, Buffy and Giles thought that. 

"They assumed she was in hell.  Fair enough assumption, seeing as she jumped into a portal that opened up a hell dimension an' all, but…a Slayer, going to hell?  Not in this lifetime," Spike said.

"She was…she was in heaven?" Erika asked, a little sickened at the thought.  

Spike hesitated but finally nodded.  "The others don't know that little detail, right?  They think they saved her and…only god knows why, but…Buffy wants to keep it that way.  Though, after Red's little confession of knowing there were risks, I'm tempted to throw it in her face regardless," Spike said.

They continued walking in silence, both contemplating life's complexities.

~*~

Giles moved stiffly, his movements causing Buffy to stir.  She groaned and stretched, her limbs tired and aching.

"What time is it?" she asked quietly.

Giles straightened his glasses and looked at her clock.  "It's a little past three," he replied.

Buffy groaned again and moved tiredly.  

"Got enough energy to move this to the bed?" she asked.

"No," he moaned, arching his back to try and stretch.  "But I'm sore enough to move."  
  


Buffy smiled a little and pulled herself onto the bed, helping Giles up as well.  She quickly discarded her shoes, pulling Giles' off for him as well.  She helped him under the covers and snuggled up next to him, his arm over her stomach.

"Giles?" she asked quietly.

"Mmm?" came his sleepy reply.

"Remember when I did that quest thing last year?" she asked.

He grunted a yes and she smiled at his response.

"Do you think…do you think I could try that again?  Maybe find out _exactly_ what I am," she said.

He sighed, knowing he would need to actually form a proper reply for this.

"You can try of course, but…no guarantees," he said.

She nodded, happy that there may be something after all.

"Take me there tomorrow?  Well, today?" she asked.

"If I say yes, will you be quiet and go to sleep?" he asked, becoming a little grouchy.

She grinned and gave him a tiny kiss.  "Yep."

"Then yes, I'll take you there today.  After classes."

She smiled and turned over, her back to his front.  

"Thank you.  Night Grumpy."

He mumbled "night" into the back of her hair and quickly fell asleep, Buffy quickly following him into slumber.


	12. Quest

CHAPTER TWELVE: QUEST  
  


She awoke with a start, her dreams having awoken her, though it hadn't been quite as bad as all of the others.  Giles moaned a little in his sleep and Buffy smiled down at him, gently touching his cheek.  He moved closer to her in his sleep, something that made Buffy's heart give a small leap.

She lay back down next to him, closing her eyes, just listening to him breath.  She couldn't believe how incredible he had been last night.  He had been nothing but understanding since she had been back.  Between the nightmares and suddenly not being entirely human, he had stuck by her side unswervingly.

Giles pulled her closer to him in his sleep, sighing contentedly.  Maybe Giles was right.  Maybe they would fix it, and everything would be fine.  Well, one could hope at any rate.

------------------------

Buffy lay contentedly in Giles' arms, waiting for him to either wake by himself or for the alarm to startle him into consciousness.  She couldn't believe that she was actually relaxed, considering the surprises that she had found out last night.

But, Giles' words had worked wonders for her.  She knew he wouldn't leave her, and she knew that even if they weren't able to fix what had happened to her, he would be at her side the entire time.

Giles mumbled something unintelligible in his sleep, nuzzling his face into Buffy's shoulder.  She smiled at his unconscious desire to be closer to her.  She could feel him beginning to wake up, and knew exactly when reality hit him.

His lips rans over her shoulder, and he shifted his weight so that he was resting on top of her.  He ran his lips over her jaw and up to her mouth, kissing her gently.

She responded immediately, thankful that she had him to help her get through everything that was about to begin in her new life.  She could feel her heart beginning to pound loudly in her chest, making her so very aware that she was alive.

She smiled at the thought for the first time and let the sensations that Giles was causing take over her entire being.

------------------------

Buffy and Giles descended the stairs, their hands clasped firmly together.  They were both still smiling, something that didn't escape Tara's notice as she watched them enter the kitchen.

"Morning," Buffy said.

Tara bit back a grin and just smiled sweetly.  She, for one, hadn't been surprised by the announcement of their new relationship.  She had often wondered why they weren't together when they were so obviously in love with each other.

"Sleep well?" Tara asked.

Buffy smiled and quirked her eyebrows quickly.

"Better than ever," she replied, giving Giles' hand a gentle squeeze.

Tara almost giggled as she saw Giles begin to turn red. 

"So uh…what are you two doing today?" Tara asked.

Buffy faltered a little, reminded of why she was going on her spiritual quest.

"Uh…college obviously.  Then me and Giles are going out later tonight," Buffy said, sitting herself on a chair at the bench in the middle of her kitchen.  Giles stood behind her as if to protect her from whatever the world had to throw at her.

Tara nodded, knowing that the vague answer was all she would be getting out of the Slayer.

Giles put his hands on Buffy's shoulders and leant down to whisper in her ear.  "We should probably leave fairly soon if we wish to make it to classes on time today," he said, his lips gently touching her ear lobe while he whispered.

She nodded and leant back into him.  He reluctantly stepped back and went to the fridge, retrieving a bottle of juice as well as some fruit, handing them to his Slayer.

"Breakfast first," he said.  

Buffy smiled gratefully and bit into her apple.  

"You have everything we need for after?" she asked.

He nodded and resumed his position behind her.  

The door to the kitchen swung open and a tired looking Dawn walked in, rubbing the sleep from her eyes.

"Morning," she mumbled, walking to the cupboard and retrieving a glass, taking the bottle of juice that Giles had given to Buffy.

The Slayer smiled as her sister took a seat beside her.  

"Morning," Buffy replied.  

Giles smiled and stepped back as his Slayer stood up.

"Are you gonna be alright if I go out this afternoon?" Buffy asked her sister.

Dawn looked up with interest.  Buffy hadn't really been big with the going out since she had come back, and the request struck Dawn as unusual.

"Where are you going?" she asked curiously.

Buffy ran her hand through her sisters' hair, marvelling at the fact that Dawn had stumbled down the stairs half asleep but had found the time to brush her hair.

"You remember that spiritual quest I did last year?" Buffy asked.  

Dawn nodded.  It had been just after their mom had died, and Dawn hadn't really wanted Buffy to go, but she knew that it was something that was going to help Buffy be better at the slaying.

"I'm gonna do that again," she said.

Dawn nodded and spun around in her chair to face her sister, catching Buffy's hand with her own.

"D'you think it'll help?" Dawn asked.  "I mean…with finding out what uh…what…what went wrong?"

Buffy looked at her, surprised that her sister knew about last nights revelations.  "So, you know?"

Dawn nodded and kept hold of her sisters' hand even though she had felt Buffy try and pull away.  "Spike explained it to me," she explained.  "And…he also said that you're still you.  No matter what.  And I believe that, so…no matter what you find out…I will _always_ be your sister."

Buffy smiled, fighting back tears at her sisters' declaration.  She bent down and kissed her sisters forehead.  She sniffled sentimentally and gave Dawn's hand a gentle squeeze.

"And here I was thinking I had finally found a way to get rid of you," she said, a tear slipping down her cheek.

Dawn grinned and stood up, hugging her older but shorter sister tightly.  Buffy returned the hug, careful not to cut of Dawn's circulation.

"I love you kid," Buffy whispered.

"I love you too shorty."

~*~

Giles convertible came to a stop in a clearing that looked all too familiar to Buffy.  She gave a small smile to Giles and slowly got out of the car.

"You don't have to do this today," he said gently, closing the door as he got out.

She shook her head.  "No, no.  I want to, it's just…"

He nodded even though she was unable to complete her sentence.  He always knew what she meant.  

He opened the trunk of the car and got out the book, gourd and twigs that Buffy remembered only too well.  He shuffled the items in his hands and managed to balance everything in only one hand, reaching out for Buffy to take the other.

She took it, letting him give her a reassuring squeeze as they began the short walk until they could no longer see Giles' car.

Giles arranged the twigs in a circle and smile at his Slayer.

"Here goes," Buffy whispered to herself as she watched Giles begin.

Awkwardly, Giles jumped inside the circle, jumped out, and then back in, shaking the gourd.  Buffy bit back a grin, remembering the comments she had thrown at him the first time he had done this for her.  Now, they just seemed far too inappropriate.

Giles gave her a soft smile and stepped out of the circle.  He took her into his arms, hugging her tightly.

"You'll be fine," he whispered.

She nodded and held him closer to her, believing his words, but still wanting the comfort of his arms.  Reluctantly she stepped away from him and gave him a final grin.

"You'll still be here when I'm done?" she asked.

He nodded and gave her a gentle kiss.  

She breathed in deeply and turned, walking away from him into the desert once more.

------------------------

Ten minutes passed before Buffy saw the familiar animal sitting in front of her.  She smiled a little as the small mountain lion stood up and stalked towards her.

"Hey kitty," she said quietly.

The lion walked up to her, rubbing itself against her legs.  He hadn't done that in the previous quest, but Buffy didn't question it.  She bent down and tentatively touched the animals' head, ruffling its fur and stroking him behind his ears.

He purred loudly and nuzzled his nose into her neck.

She smiled and forced herself to relax even as it licked her face.  She ruffled him a little more and stood up, keeping one hand on its head.

"Wanna show me where to go again?" she asked.

She almost felt as though the lion nodded its response, and the two of them began walking.  

On the previous journey, it had felt as though they had walked for several hours, but now that Buffy was recognising more of her surroundings, she realised that their journey took no more than an hour.

The lion stopped and looked up at her expectantly.  They were once more at the place where Buffy knew the last spiritual journey had taken place.  She sat down on the rocks and was a little startled when the large feline jumped up next to her, resting its head on her knee.

She continued playing with its fur, the lion seemingly content to let her stroke him.  

Her movements seemed to lull them both to sleep, and before she knew it, the sky had darkened.  She was jolted awake by the hooting of an owl, her movements surprising her new friend.  It sat up and looked around sleepily, jumping off the rocks and standing in front of the Slayer protectively.

There were flames rising in front of them, and Buffy squinted her eyes to look through them, the figure of the first Slayer appearing before her eyes.

"Back again Slayer," it asked.

It was exactly as Buffy remembered it to be.  She could only hope that the answers that the first Slayer gave her were more forthcoming than last time.  'Death is your gift' had been far too cryptic for her liking.

"I…I need answers," Buffy managed to get out.

"You want to know who you are," it said.

Buffy nodded and blinked back tears.  She wasn't sure if it was from the pain of the last few days or from the smoke of the fire.

"I need to know…what I am," she replied.

"You are…the Slayer," it replied.

Buffy sighed, inanely wondering whether cryptic guide girl had learnt its tactics off Angel.

"And?" Buffy asked.  "What else?"

"You are not a demon.  You are _the_ Slayer."

"Then why can Spike hit me?" Buffy asked, slowly becoming frustrated.

"You…are a warrior.  More than human."

"But he couldn't hit me before I died." Buffy knew she was beginning to sound like a four year old, but she really didn't care.  She wanted…needed answers.

"You are the One.  The Chosen One."

"But-"

"Your question has been answered," the form said, beginning to fade.

Buffy let out a sigh as the fire disappeared, covering the desert with darkness.  She felt something furry brush up against her hand, almost yelping in surprise before she remembered her feline friend.

"What do you think, Mr Lion?" she asked, squatting down to be at eye level with the animal.

The lion tilted its head, its ears sticking up.  She smiled gently and gave the creature a peck on its nose.  It nuzzled its face into her shoulder and she felt the strange urge to throw her arms around it and sob out all of her woes.

She stared at the animal for a moment, scratching him behind his eyes, enjoying the soft purr that filled the quiet air around them.

"You need a name I think," she whispered quietly.  "Something manly for a lion."

The creature looked at her, its eyes large and searching.  It the light of the moon they looked silver with a dash of blue.

"Blue," she whispered.

The lion nuzzled closer to her, almost as though it approved of its new name.  She smiled and stood up tiredly.

"Take me back to Giles," she said.

Blue began walking and Buffy quickly followed suit.


	13. Ryan

CHAPTER THIRTEEN: RYAN

Erika walked through the cemeteries, trying to memorise a patrol route that would be easily remembered.  She sighed as she looed up at the sky, clouds covering the stars from sight.  

It had been a slow night, something that she was extremely grateful for.  With Buffy away for the evening, doing something that Erika didn't really understand, but knew was important, Erika had been a little nervous about patrolling by herself.  The cemeteries weren't exactly home turf for her yet.

A noise behind her forced her to swivel on the spot, her stake clenched in her fist.  She relaxed as she recognised Spike standing behind her.  He nodded his head in greeting.

"What are you doing here?" she asked casually.

He pointed to the crypt that she was standing in front of.  "I live here pet."

She turned and saw what he was pointing to.  It seemed to be fitting that the mysterious vampire lived in the dank mausoleum that stood proudly in the cemetery.

She nodded and turned back to him, unsure of what else to say to him.  What exactly do you say to a vampire that you don't know who's not trying to kill you?

"Slow night?" Spike asked.

"Yeah a bit.  Probably good though," Erika commented.  "With Buffy out for the night, I was a bit worried, but it's been okay."

"Buffy's out?  With Rupert?" Spike asked, feigning casualness. 

Erika smirked, wondering how okay Spike actually was with the relationship between the Slayer and her Watcher.

"Yeah.  Some spiritual quest," she explained.

Spike nodded, vaguely remembering the quest that Buffy had taken the year before, right around the time when he and the Buffybot had been becoming acquainted.

"She trying to find out what she is?" Spike asked, his eyes soft and compassionate.

"Yeah.  Uh…that girl…Willow?  She ran off last night, and she didn't come back.  Haven't seen her all day.  Neither has Tara," Erika said.

"Red's done a runner?  Can't say that I blame her," Spike said.  "Cowardly little chit."

Erika couldn't help but nod her agreement.  

"How's the Slayer holding up anyway?" Spike asked.

Erika shrugged.  "As well as can be expected I guess.  She's not too happy, but…Giles has been really good for her I think."

Spike went to reply but he closed his mouth, listening to the air around him.  Erika regarded the vampire curiously, about to question him when she heard movement as well. 

She lifted her stake and was only a little surprised to see Spike take a stake from inside of his coat.

She put her back to Spike, trying to listen a little more carefully to her surroundings.  She couldn't believe that she hadn't heard someone creep up behind her and throw Spike to the side.

She whirled, stake in her hand.  Her breath caught in her throat as she saw the gorgeous blue eyes of her Watcher, and she fought the urge to just drop the stake.

"Slayer," he whispered quietly, a grin coming to his face.

With her heart pounding heavily, she took a step back from him, never letting her eyes leave his face.

"You should have known that you can't run from me, my love," he said.  He put a cold hand to her cheek, stepping closer to her.

He could hear the erratic breathing and the desperate pounding of her heart, making her blood pump furiously.  It was calling to him loudly, a cry for him to have a taste.

He bent his head down to her neck, fully expecting her to let him bite her.  She pushed him away from her, tears in her eyes.  She pulled out a stake from her jacket pocket, brandishing it between them as a safety device.

"I don't want to hurt you love," he said quietly.

Without warning, he kicked the stake from her hand and quickly grabbed her arms, pinning them to her sides.

"Much," he finished.

She struggled against him, head-butting her former Watcher, forcing him backwards.  He grinned at her and pounced.

She hadn't been willing to fight with him in their previous battle, but she was ready now.

She punched him furiously and received a kick to the stomach for her efforts.  She stumbled a little, quickly regaining her balance.  Her fist shot out and into an upper-cut, throwing him off guard.

He distanced himself from the Slayer and the two began circling each other, waiting for the other to strike.  Tired of waiting, she moved first and he blocked her punch, grabbing hold of her fist and pushing her back.  He grabbed her by the collar of her jacket, flipping her over the top of him to the ground, knocking the wind out of her.

She gasped for air and managed to roll to the side before his boot came rushing down where her chest had been.  She punched the back of his knee forcefully, bringing him to his knees.

Erika jumped to her feet, about to kick his back, but he forward rolled and jumped to his feet, spinning around to face her.  She lunged towards him again, throwing a punch.

He easily caught it and threw her backwards, making a tsking sound as he did.

"You're still telegraphing your punches Erika," he said.

She glared at him, hating that the demon was using the quiet voice of her Watcher, using his knowledge of her fighting skills against her.  She aimed again and was once more thrown back.

"Don't drop your left," he chastised, hitting her in the face as he did so.

It was so much like their old sparring sessions when he had been training her in the finer skills of the martial arts.  But he had died before the training was anywhere near complete, and he had the advantage of years worth of skill and training.  What she lacked in skill, however, she made up for in strength, although he now was stronger than he had been when they had first begun to train.

"I saw that coming a mile away," he taunted, easily kicking her in the ribs.  She looked up at him breathless, wondering how her Watcher could ever be so cruel.

"Come on love, how do you plan to kill me if you can't even get one good swing?" 

She groaned in pain as she felt his fist connect with the side of her face, sending her reeling into a tree, the force of it making her drop her stake.  She held onto the bark as though it were a lifeline, and turned her head to the side, spitting out the blood in her mouth.

She felt him stand behind her, pushing her further into the tree, the bark leaving imprints on her face and her palms.  He held her wrists tightly, dead air tingling at the back of her neck.

"Who was that man trying to protect you?" he whispered angrily.

She struggled to draw breath as he pushed his entire weight against hers.  She couldn't find the breath to answer him, and she felt his hand violently grab her hair and smash her face into the tree.  She could feel blood on her forehead and the beginnings of what was going to be a painful headache if she lived.

"Who was he?" he yelled.

She flinched away from his voice and choked out an answer.

"A friend."

He bashed her head against the tree again and she felt herself dangling on the edge of unconsciousness.

"You make friends with vampires now?" he asked.  " I thought I taught you better than that."

She shook her head, trying to get away from his angry clutches.  He turned her around, still keeping a hold of her hair, yanking it harshly.  She whimpered in pain and nearly lost her footing, the tree and his hands the only thing keeping her standing.

She breathed in sharply as she saw her Watcher vamp out and stare at her, breathing in air that he didn't need, obviously trying to calm himself down.

"You're mine love.  Not his," he said quietly, his voice soft and threatening.  "Understand?" 

She swallowed hard, wishing that she could reach the stake on the ground that was only a foot away from where they were standing.  He saw her eyes flicker to something behind him and he grabbed her chin, gripping it tightly.

"Look at me!" he yelled.  She shrunk away from him, or tried to and felt his fingers digging into her cheek, his nails drawing blood.  She whimpered in pain and he smiled at her.  

Before she even knew what was happening, his mouth was at her neck, his fangs deeply embedded in her skin, and her blood was being sucked out of her.  

From behind him, there was a low growl, distracting him from his Slayer.  He pulled away reluctantly and turned around, keeping one hand on Erika's shoulder to keep her from moving.

Spike stood there, stake in his hand.

"You up for a little one-on-one with me, Watcher?" Spike asked quietly.

Ryan growled softly and de-vamped regarding the blonde vampire curiously.

"You trying to protect my Slayer or kill her for yourself?" he asked.

Spike shrugged, smirking a little.  "Don't matter really.  S'you I wanna fight."

Ryan turned back to Erika, backhanding her hard across the face.  She fell to the ground, finally losing consciousness.  Ryan turned back to Spike, swiftly picking up Erika's dropped stake.

"So," Ryan began conversationally.  "Who are you?"

"Name's Spike," he replied.

Ryan looked vaguely impressed as they began circling each other.

"William the Bloody.  Last I heard you were neutered."

"Everything's still in perfect working order," Spike replied.  "Against you at any rate."

"Working for the Slayer…heard you were in love with the last one," Ryan accused.

"You're one to talk," Spike shot back.

Ryan gave a small grin and cocked his head.  "Yes I suppose you're right," he said.  "So…you gonna stop me or just keep circling me?"

"I can't do both?"

"Only one of us is gonna walk away from here tonight," Ryan commented.  "So, I'd suggest that you make your move."

Spike shrugged and lunged forward, punching Ryan square in the nose.  He followed through with a blow to the cheek, shoving the other vampire to the ground.  

Ryan quickly swept Spike to the ground, kicking out at Spike's legs.  They simultaneously got to their feet, bouncing on their toes like boxers before trying to catch the other off guard.

Spike had to admit that Ryan was a good fighter.  Nowhere near the standard of Buffy, but he was definitely a worthy adversary.  

Ryan punched Spike in the gut and elbowed the blonde vampire in the back, forcing him to the ground on his stomach.  He kicked Spike's side, rolling him over.  Ryan quickly straddled the vampire, ready to thrust the stake into Spike's chest.

Spike braced himself for impact, wishing that he could have at least died at Buffy's hands instead of at the vampire who had only been a vampire for two or three weeks at most.  He fought off the urge to close his eyes and stared his death in the face.

Suffice it say, when the figure on top of him crumbled to dust, he hadn't been expecting it.

Spike looked up as the dust began to settle and saw the brown haired Slayer standing above him, tears in her eyes.  He felt his heart break for the girl and when she fell to her knees in front of him, Spike gathered her in his arms and held her as she sobbed.


	14. Willow

CHAPTER FOURTEEN: WILLOW

Willow sat down on the bed, one she hadn't seen for the last two years.  Her room in her parents house looked so unfamiliar, so childish, so…different from everything that was happening now.  Flowers and paintings adorned the walls, mocking her, whispering that the girl she had once been had been destroyed all because of one spell gone wrong.

She wiped tears from her eyes and stared silently at a picture of herself, Buffy and Xander.  She picked up the silver frame and stared at her two best friends, wondering what had happened.  With a gentle finger, she traced the outline of Buffy's face, wishing that the smile that the photograph showed could once again happen for her friend.

Of course, after last night and the last few months, she knew that if ever the smile returned to Buffy, it wouldn't be because of Willow.  The sad look of resignation on Buffy's face last night would probably be the only facial expression that Buffy would ever direct towards Willow ever again.

Not to mention Tara's look of horror and disgust.  Willow wasn't sure which look had been worse.  

She silently wondered whether anything would ever be the same for the Scooby Gang again.  She figured that it wouldn't, and it was all her fault.

------------------------

Tara and Dawn sat on the couch in the Summers living rooms, oblivious as to what was actually on television.  They were both worrying about Buffy and Willow, each of them wondering whether things between the two former best friends could ever be salvaged.

Dawn sighed and curled up in a ball, a habit she had picked up from Buffy.  It was a comfortable position, and Dawn had found herself imitating it more and more since Buffy's death and consequent resurrection.  Tara looked over to her young friend and gave a sad smile.

"You okay?" she asked quietly.

Dawn scrunched up her nose as she thought about the real answer to that question.

"Just worried I guess," she replied. 

Tara nodded, understanding exactly how she felt.  "Me too."

"What do you think is wrong with Buffy?" Dawn asked.

Tara just shook her head sadly.  "I wish I knew Dawnie.  I really wish I knew."

"Did…I mean…Willow didn't know right?" Dawn asked.  

Tara looked up, tears in her eyes, and Dawn automatically knew the answer.

"She knew?" Dawn cried, outraged.

"She uh…she said that the risk was really little.  She never even mentioned it to us," Tara said.

"You never mentioned it to me either," Dawn said, still a little bitter that she hadn't been included.  It hadn't been easy to find her sister on top of the tower that she had thrown herself off, especially when Buffy had obviously been considering doing it again.

"I know," Tara said quietly.  "We didn't…we didn't wanna get your hopes up…in case it didn't work." 

Dawn sighed, her head understanding that the Gang had probably been better off without her knowing while her heart still ached to be part of the group.  

"Yeah, I get it.  Doesn't matter anyway.  Buffy's back and…hopefully everything'll be okay."

Tara nodded comfortingly, though her eyes told of other stories.  She wasn't so sure.

------------------------

Giles stopped the car in front of the small brick house and looked towards Buffy sympathetically.

"You don't have to do this right now you know," he said for the second time that day.

She nodded but pulled her resolve face.

"I know.  But I'm going to."

He nodded and put a supportive hand on her shoulder.

"Do you want me to wait for you?" 

"Nah.  I'm good.  Plus, walking might help a bit.  Clear my head," she explained.  "Maybe do a quick sweep when I'm done here."

"Alright.  Well…you know where I'll be if you need me," he said.

She smiled and squeezed his hand, leaning over to gently kiss him.  He smiled as she undid her seatbelt and got out of the car.  She walked up the path, her steps not as confident as she wanted them to be.  She breathed in deeply and rang the doorbell.

Giles waited, watching her as she shifted her weight nervously.  The door opened and after a moment she was ushered inside.

With a sigh, Giles started the engine and drove home.

------------------------

Buffy knocked softly on the door, opening it before she even heard a reply.

Willow looked up, expecting her mom to be there.  When she saw Buffy standing there, she stood up quickly, almost feeling the need to run past her friend and put as much distance between them as possible.

"Buffy," Willow said nervously.

Buffy gave a small smile and put her hands in her pockets to keep them from fidgeting.

"Hey Will," she replied.

There was an awkward silence between them for a moment, something that neither of them particularly enjoyed.

"Uh…do you uh…you wanna…sit?" Willow offered.

Buffy hesitated but finally nodded and sat on the edge of Willow's bed, Willow sitting in the other corner, as far away as she could without falling.

Buffy cleared her throat and tried to think of something that didn't sound either stupid or obvious.

"I guess you want an explanation," Willow said, looking up at her friend, but refusing to meet her eyes.

Buffy nodded and pulled Willow's pillow onto her lap, hugging it to her body, desperately wishing that Giles were here.  But this was something that she need to do on her own.

"Yeah…that would be good."

"Okay," Willow whispered.  

Silence descended once more.  Buffy looked up at Willow, not particularly surprised by the tears that were running down her friends face.

"I made a mistake," Willow admitted.

Buffy nodded slowly wishing that they could just avoid the entire confrontation that was about to ensue.  Willow stood up and began pacing, feeling the need to just walk.  

"When you…when you died it was like…like everything suddenly stopped.  Nothing…nothing really made sense anymore, y'know?" Willow said.  "Everyone was…it was like our whole world had ended and…in a way, it had.  Dawn was…god, she was a wreck.  And Spike…I've never seen a vampire cry like that before.  And Giles.  I remember when Miss Calendar died, he went kinda quiet, but…he just went silent when you died.  Everything was…it was bad Buffy.  Like _really_ bad.  We've gotten through apocalypses and deaths before, but…no one saw it coming.  We weren't ready to give you up.  I don't really think any of us thought it was possible."

Willow swallowed hard and wiped the tears from her eyes.  Buffy went to say something but Willow put up a hand to stop her.  Once she was on a roll, she knew she had to keep going before she was too afraid to say anything else.

"I just kept thinking that…if I hadda been smarter or faster then…you wouldn't have had to have jumped."

Buffy looked up sharply.  Spike had said almost the exact same thing to her.  She had to wonder whether all of her friends had felt guilt about her death, even though there was nothing anyone could had done to have stopped it.

"Will, no," Buffy said, ignoring Willow's silent plea for her not to say anything.  "It wasn't your fault.  It happened and…and I would do it again in a heartbeat if I had to."

"But-"

"No buts," Buffy said firmly.  "No one is to blame for what happened.  I told that to Spike and I'll tell that to you.  It wasn't your fault.  And it wasn't Spike's fault or Dawn's fault or Giles' either."

Willow hesitated but finally nodded, knowing that the small Slayer was far more stubborn that Willow was and wouldn't back down from a fight.

"Anyway…after your funeral, things just kept getting worse.  We couldn't even really tell anyone that you were gone, so…when people asked why we were all sad, we couldn't even tell them.  We couldn't tell anyone what you'd done for the world cos…we didn't want Dawn to get taken away.  And…we couldn't even get in contact with your dad.  We tried once, but then…we decided to fix the robot."

"Spike's robot?" Buffy asked.

Willow nodded, wincing at the memories that created for Buffy.

"He was completely against it.  Said it was dishonouring your memory.  The only reason he agreed was because we told him that the only way Social Services would let Dawnie stay in Sunnydale was if you were her guardian.  So…I fixed it.  It was so hard…not…not fixing it, that was easy but…seeing you every day and…and not being able to talk to you.  To know that it wasn't really you," Willow said, choking on her tears.

Buffy realised that she too had begun to cry and Willow handed her a tissue.  She smiled gratefully as she took it from the still pacing red-head.

"About two weeks after, uh…I woke up from this horrible nightmare.  You were…you were sitting in a dark room, just crying, and no matter what anyone tried, no one could reach you.  And…I woke up screaming, shaking and…I knew that you were in trouble.  And I had to get you out of there, so…I got the gang together and we spent the next four months researching spells to try and bring you back.  And I finally found one, but…it said that there was a tiny risk that something would go wrong," Willow explained quietly.

Buffy nodded and stood up as Willow sat down, their positions changing.  

"I uh…I don't know if something went…went wrong per say," Buffy started.  "Uh…Giles took me on that uh…that spiritual quest thingy again.  You remember that thing I did just after…after my mom died?"

Willow nodded and shifted her position on the bed, trying to get more comfortable.

"Anyway, the uh…the spirit guide told me that…I'm not a demon.  I'm not evil.  I'm…a warrior, but we already knew that," Buffy said.

"So why can Spike hit you?" 

"I'm a warrior," Buffy replied.  "More than human apparently."

Willow nodded, feeling a weight lift off her chest.  Buffy hesitated a moment and then moved to the door.

"I just thought you should know.  You did make a mistake…about a few things actually, but…I didn't come back wrong, so…we're okay on that one," Buffy said.

"And the rest?" Willow asked, her voice small, expecting the worst.

Buffy answered with a small smile.  She opened the door and went into the corridor.

"We've still got some stuff to talk about but…now's really not the time," Buffy said.

She closed the door, not even waiting for Willow to respond.  Without another word, Buffy let herself out of the house.


	15. Slayers

CHAPTER FIFTEEN: SLAYERS

Buffy walked quickly through the streets of Sunnydale, not particularly feeling in the mood for a fight.  Her conversation with Willow had taken a lot out of her, and all she wanted was to curl up into a ball and have Giles hold her.

She cut across Restfield cemetery, knowing all the shortcuts to her house, and even though she was hoping for no vamp action, the cemetery route was the quickest way home.

She stopped as she heard something in front of her, the sounds of a woman sobbing quietly.  She raced towards the sound and stopped in her tracks when she saw Spike comforting Erika, both of them kneeling on the ground, the young Slayer clinging to the vampire.

Spike looked up, nodding his greeting to Buffy who knelt down behind them, gently touching Erika's back.

The brunette Slayer looked up, a little startled.  She hadn't heard Buffy coming up behind her.  Buffy grabbed a tissue from her pocket and set about wiping the blood off Erika's face, moving down to the two small puncture wounds on the girls neck.

She looked at Spike worriedly, hoping for an explanation.

Spike didn't say anything, though he gently brought Erika to her feet, transferring the young girls arms from around his neck to around Buffy's.  Buffy gave the girl a tight hug, which Erika returned with ardour.

"Best take her back to your place Slayer," Spike said softly.  "S'been a rough night."

Buffy nodded thankfully and coaxed Erika into taking the first steps back to the Summers household.  Spike tailed them, making sure that the two Slayers weren't attacked by any vamps trying to get a two-for-one deal.  Erika was in no condition to fight, and Buffy looked too exhausted to even think about rasing her stake.

Spike stopped when the Slayers got to the front door of Buffy's house.  He gave a grin as they stepped inside and he went to walk off.

"Spike," Buffy said, stopping the vampire in his tracks.

He turned and looked at her.

"Thank you."

He nodded and continued on, wondering how he had become so attached to either of the Slayers that he had helped to protect.  He shrugged and stuck his hands into his pockets, heading back to his home.

------------------------

Buffy helped Erika onto the couch, sitting herself on the new coffee table that Giles had helped her pick out after M'Fashnik's spontaneous demolition of her house.  She took Erika's hands in her own, the taller Slayer looking up with tear sin her eyes.

Buffy felt a slight sense of déjà vu run through her, remembering the gentle way Spike had dealt with her the night she had been brought back to life.  She shook it off after making a note to thank him for that.

"You wanna tell me what happened?" Buffy asked quietly.

Erika sniffed back tears and closed her eyes, her hands still shaking, even though the other Slayer was trying her best to hold them steady.  She looked up to see the concerned look on the blonde girls face, a little startled to see compassion and understanding in the depth of the girls eyes.

She looked down, and cleared her throat.

"Ryan's dust," she admitted quietly.

Buffy fought back the urge to gasp and just nodded, giving Erika's hands a gentle and comforting squeeze.

"You wanna talk about it?" she offered.

The younger girl hesitated, but found that once she started, she had trouble stopping.

"He attacked, and…for a second I couldn't think, couldn't even move.  He got too close, and I finally got it together.  We fought, and…god, I couldn't win.  He knew every move, knew exactly what I was going to do.  Ryan trained me, and…the demon was using it against me," Erika explained.

Buffy could sympathise with her there.  Angelus had used Angel's memories of her, intimate memories to play with her head, to torture her slowly.  She knew what it was like to have a stalking vampire foe.

"He was just…yelling and then he had me, and I couldn't even move."  Her hands came up to touch her neck gingerly.  "He bit me, but…Spike…he…he saved me.  Ryan was about to dust him, but…I couldn't let anyone die because of me.  So…I killed him."

"You did the right thing," Buffy said quietly.

Erika just nodded and let the tears fall down her cheeks.  Buffy let go of the younger girls hands and stood up.

"I'm just gonna get some antiseptic for your cuts, okay?  I'll be back in a second."

Buffy quickly headed up the stairs, bypassing her room where she found Giles lying on her bed, the sound of his even breathing filling the room.  She smiled and continued on to the bathroom, grabbing the first aid kit that she had used so many times before.

She headed back down the stairs and sat herself down next to Erika, gently wiping antiseptic over the cut to her temple.  There were bruises on her wrists, and three crescent-shaped finger nail scars on her left cheek that looked painful.

Erika tried not to wince too much as the cream was applied to her skin, and the blood gently washed off her face.  She would be lucky that only half of the scars would show up in the morning.

"Do you wanna stay here the night?" Buffy offered.  "I can only offer you the couch, but…I'm told it's pretty comfy."

Erika smiled and nodded, softly whispering 'thanks' to her fellow Slayer.  Buffy stood up, and grabbed the guest sheets that she and Giles had stumbled across the other day, and she quickly went about making the couch into something resembling a bed.

"We'll talk a bit more tomorrow if you're up to it, okay?" Buffy asked quietly as Erika slipped her shoes and socks off.

The brunette Slayer nodded quietly and turned the lamp next to the couch off.

"I'll get Giles to buy us a major supply of ice cream.  We'll share our sob stories."

Erika managed to smile at that and Buffy turned off the main light, whispering 'good night' to the younger girl.


	16. Sob Stories

CHAPTER SIXTEEN: SOB STORIES

Buffy stripped off her blouse, putting on an over size t-shirt and a pair of satin boxer shorts.  She slipped in beside Giles silently, hoping that she didn't wake him up.  He stirred a little.

"Buffy?" he murmured quietly.

She smiled and shifted herself closer to him, placing his arm over her stomach.

"You expecting someone else?" she whispered, a smile on her face.

He grunted a 'no' and held onto her tightly.  She leant her back into his stomach and felt her entire body relax against him, just enjoying the feeling of his arms around her.

"Everything alright with Willow?" he asked quietly.

"Yeah.  Things aren't great, but…we're getting there.  Haven't told her about the whole, _not in hell_ thing yet, but…we sorted some stuff out," she explained.

He smiled sleepily and leant his face into the crook of her neck.

"That's good," he whispered.  

"Rik dusted her Watcher," Buffy whispered.

That woke Giles up completely.  His eyes shot open and he found himself holding onto his Slayer a little more tightly.

"Is she alright?" he asked.

Buffy shook her head sadly.  "She's bunking on the couch tonight.  She's…really upset about it.  I uh…volunteered you for some major ice cream expenditure on our behalf.  Told her that she and I could swap sob stories tomorrow."

Giles smiled and gently kissed her shoulder.

"Very generous of you to volunteer my services," he whispered, trying to sound mad, though the sleep in his voice made it hard to do.

She smiled and snuggled in closer to him.  "I thought so," she said quietly.  "You should go to sleep before you get grumpy."

He smiled, vaguely remembering her calling him that the night before.  He closed his eyes once more, his thoughts filled with Buffy and the realisation that she was here, with him, in his bed –hers technically- in his arms.  Life was pretty good.

------------------------

The two Slayers were set up on the couch in the Summers living room, neither of them feeling up to going to classes.  Dawn was at school, Giles was teaching at UC Sunnydale and Tara had left for college earlier that morning.

With a blanket covering the both of them on the couch as well as a tub of double chocolate fudge ice cream, they were both feeling completely at ease.

Buffy grinned at her new Slaying partner, a little amazed at how different Erika seemed from both Kendra and Faith.

Kendra had obviously been brought up in a strict patrolling environment, taught from the very beginning that slaying was life and that was all there was to it.  Her style had been almost flawless, but like Buffy had pointed out, there was no fire, no imagination behind it.

Faith had a little too much fire.  Her passion for blood and violence had spiralled out of control far too quickly for Buffy's liking, and the price to pay was a coma, seven months and counting.  Not to mention the subsequent jailing and then the eventual suicide.  But Faith had realised her wrongs, had apologised for them, and had been working at redemption until she had heard about Buffy's death.  Then she had given the world a Slayer who could actually do something besides sit in a jail jell for the rest of her life.

Erika, though, seemed to be a lot like Buffy.  There was passion and fire, and perhaps a reluctance to be back into the slaying.  

Giles had seen the similarities immediately between them.  He could still remember the sixteen-year-old Buffy telling him that she wasn't the Slayer anymore, that she wanted nothing to do with vampires, demons and the forces of darkness.

Erika was still laughing at Buffy, her sides beginning to ache.  Their sharing sob stories had started out with light hearted anecdotes about some of the funnier slayages that Buffy had to contend with.  Buffy grinned and poked Erika in the sides.

"It's not _that_ funny," she said, her teeth gritted, barely containing a smile.

Erika just laughed even harder.  "Yes, it is," she managed to pant out between her laughter.  "You and Spike?  Engaged?  Oh man, I wish I coulda seen that."

Buffy just grinned, glad that Erika wasn't the sobbing mess that she had been the night before.  Even if the laughter was directed at the blonde Slayer, it was better than the moping of earlier.

"Alright, stop it," Buffy said forcefully.  "You're funniest moment?"

Erika thought about it for a moment.

"Uh…probably trying to explain to the Principal why I was straddling the new history teacher in the gym after school," Erika said with a grin.

Buffy smiled, remembering how worried she had always been when she and Giles had been training in the library.  She had always been amazed that no students ever seemed to go in there.  Sometimes the group tended to forget completely that there little haven was the school library.

"Smoochies or training?" Buffy asked.

"Both," Erika answered easily.

Buffy just shook her head.  She could imagine how that could have happened.  There had been times when she and Giles had been tangled up on the floor, too breathless to move.  The adrenaline pumping through her had always made her think crazy thoughts, which didn't seem so crazy nowadays.

"Hardest kill?" Erika asked.  "Physically, not emotionally," she added.

Buffy thought for a moment then snapped her fingers.

"This human cyborg thing.  It was this Frankenstein thing gone horribly wrong.  It took this completely weird spell that combined Giles and Will's and Xander's essences with mine so that we could defeat it.  Weird, but very, very cool," Buffy explained.  "Yours?"

"Vampire named Jack Sampson.  He was _so_ annoying.  Like stalker annoying.  He's the one…I mean…he's the vamp that…that killed Ryan," she said quietly.

Buffy nodded, silently telling her to continue if she wanted to or stop if she had to.

"He was the vamp master guy in Sydney.  He was convinced that he was gonna take over the whole city by the end of the year.  He was good, terrific fighter.  As much as I hate to admit it, a lot of my moves, I learned from fighting him.  I've only been the Slayer for six months and…fighting a master is…kinda difficult," Erika said.

Buffy nodded her agreement.  "I know what you mean."

Erika tilted her head to the side inquisitively.  "How many masters you faced?"

"Uh…let's see…Lothos, the guy who killed my first Watcher…the Master, the guy who killed me, hence why there's two Slayers.  Uh…Spike, but he's not dead so he doesn't really count, Drusilla, but she was nuts and she's still around.  Angelus, sword through the heart and into some swirling hell dimension.  Uh…and that's about it."

"Angelus?  I though he had a soul," Erika commented.

Buffy looked away.  She wasn't quite over Angel's death even though she was over Angel himself.  To think that she had sent the man she had loved at once stage to an unknown level of hell for what would have been the equivalent to one hundred years hurt her more than she cared to admit. It still hurt to think about him, still hurt to remember that she had killed him when he had his soul.  She sighed, wondering how she could possibly explain having a relationship with a vampire when she was the Slayer.

"Uh…he does.   He can kinda…lose it."

"Uh…just for future reference in case I ever meet another vamp with a soul…how?"

Buffy hesitated, but decided that her fellow Slayer needed to know the truth.  And she would probably find out anyway, so it would be better coming from herself, rather than from Xander.

"A moment of pure happiness.  When he's not feeling guilty for the demon's murders."

"Uh huh," Erika said slowly, not entirely understanding how that worked.  "I'm assuming there's a pretty long back story to this."

Buffy sighed and once again, began to tell the saga of Buffy and Angel.

------------------------

"So, you and Angel, making with the smoochies, and then, bam…he loses his soul.  Goes nuts, tries to kill all your mates and tortures your…our Watcher, and then he managed to get his soul back just before you were about to kill him, but you had to anyway," Rik said, trying to sum up in under fifty words what it had taken Buffy half an hour to explain.

"That's about it," Buffy said.

Rik nodded slowly, trying to comprehend what that must have been like.  To have to kill Angel just as he was given his soul back.  

"Ouch," she commented quietly.

Buffy grinned a little at that and went back to attacking the half melted ice cream.

"You can say that again," Buffy agreed.

"Ouch," Rik repeated with a grin.

Buffy laughed and flicked some of her melted ice cream at the other Slayer who just good naturedly licked it off her arm where it had landed.

They were both silent for a minute, contemplating what they had lost by being called as the Slayers.  

"You're really lucky, you know that," Rik said quietly.

Buffy smiled, thinking she meant because of Giles being alive and with her.

"Yeah, I know."

"You've got these great friends who know about the slayage.  I mean, from the sounds of it, they actually got a helluva lot stronger because they knew about it," Rik said, tears in her eyes.

Buffy sighed, remembering how the rejection felt when people found out about what she really did.  Willow and Xander had been terrific from the beginning, although Xander had needed a little convincing about the whole thing.  After that, he had put his heart into it completely.

"You're friends didn't understand?" Buffy asked.

"Well, that's not entirely true.  One of them did, but after…I didn't wanna risk getting any of them hurt.  I mean, you said that Xander and Willow were the first ones to find out and they've stuck by your side for six years…I couldn't even get my friends who I've known for the last ten years to stick by me when I found out."

"You said one of them did…what happened to her…or him?" Buffy asked.

"Her.  Katiana or Kat for short.  She was…she was there the whole time," Erika said thoughtfully.  She laughed a little.  "She actually found out by saving my arse.  She saved me so many times after that.  Not just from being killed by a vampire or a demon or anything, but…she saved me from…insanity."

Buffy grinned at that.  She wouldn't be able to count how many times the guys had bailed her out, had helped her when she had needed it.  She couldn't imagine having to work alone.  Plus, the support network that she had built up was incredible.  Their friendship meant more than anything, and even though it was still a little tentative between them at the moment, she still didn't want to lose them completely from her life.

"What happened?"

"Well, I kinda had to explain why the guy she had thrown off me had exploded into dust when I stuck a stake in his heart.  She was…thrown to say the least.  I expected her to freak, just walk out of my life and think I was nuts, but…she calmly walked over to the nearest seat and sat down, held my hand, and made me explain everything.  And I mean _everything_.  How I felt about being the Slayer, what I had to do, how it all worked, how she could help me out, she was…she was terrific."

Buffy could feel that something bad had happened to this friend of Rik's and she felt the far too familiar knot begin in her stomach.

"What happened?"

"She uh…she convinced Ryan to start training her as well, just the basics of self defence so she could hold her own.  Ryan was really hesitant about it, but…Kat was pretty convincing.  And she could fight too.  I mean…she didn't have the whole strength and speed thing going for her, but…she could hold her own," Rik explained.

Buffy just nodded, waiting to see where this was going.  She could already see tears in Rik's eyes, which automatically signalled that this story wouldn't end well.

"She came patrolling with me, every night.  Ryan didn't want her too, but…she pulled him aside and said something to him, and he agreed.  I still don't know what she said to make him agree to it."

"Probably something pretty similar to what the Gang told Giles that got him to let them come with me.  They were too involved and they weren't gonna let me fight alone.  That they wouldn't let me die alone," Buffy said.

Rik grinned, knowing that the other Slayer was probably right.  It sounded like something Kat would have said.

"One night, we got surrounded by this big group.  Fifteen vamps in all.  We'd been working together for about three months by then.  We'd just been fooling around, chatting and laughing, having a pretty alright night, y'know.  And then these guys just circle us and…I knew that I wasn't getting out of there alive," Rik said, swallowing hard at the memories.  She tried to blink back tears before she continued.

"We got the group down to about six of them, but they were really confused.  They didn't know which one of us was the Slayer, and they were holding both of us so we couldn't move.  They started dragging us back and Kat looked at me panicked and cried out for them to stop, and…surprisingly enough they did."

_"Stop!" _

_The vamps stopped walking and looked impatiently at the girl they were holding._

_"What?"_

_"Your Master wants the Slayer right?" Kat asked._

_The vamps just looked at her blankly and then nodded._

_"Then let my friend go and I'll come without a fight," she said._

_Rik looked up at her, wild-eyed.  "Kat, no!" _

_Kat just smiled at her best friend and gave a reassuring nod._

_"The world needs at least one of us."_

_The vamps threw Rik to the ground and ran off at a pace too quick even for the true Slayer to follow at.  _

Buffy swallowed hard, tears in her own eyes.  Rik was already crying softly at the memories.  

"She loved you," Buffy said softly.

Rik nodded, already knowing that.  "She did.  Me, Kat and Ami, we did everything together.  When…when Kat was taken, I…I couldn't forgive myself, even though I knew it hadn't been my fault.  But it should have been me to offer my life for hers.  She shouldn't have gone instead of me."

Buffy smiled and took Rik's hand, a gesture that reminded the taller girl of her friend who had given up her own life so that Rik could live.  Buffy was suddenly reminded of what she had done for her sister, giving up her life so that her sister could live.  The moment of clarity she had felt before her death had been calming, soothing, almost like she already knew that the end would only bring peace.

"She gave her life so you could live yours," Buffy said quietly.  "She wouldn't want for you to think, 'what if' or 'if only'.  It's not helpful to anyone, especially not to you.  She gave you a gift, and…she gave it to you freely."

Rik looked up at her doubtfully.

"Hey, I know my stuff," Buffy assured her.

"How?"

Buffy just smiled gently.  "Cos I died in my sister's place.  I gave my life freely so she could have hers.  And I didn't ask for anything in return.  Your friend did the same for you.  She died so you wouldn't have to."

Rik sniffled and nodded a little, knowing in her head that these things were true.  But her heart was still sad, still aching for her best friend.  

"What about your other friend?  Ami?  What happened to her?" Buffy asked, almost afraid to hear the answer.

Rik looked down, remembering what had happened when Kat's disappearance had got around the school.

"Ami didn't know any of it.  Kat thought that we owed it to her to tell her, so at least she would be able to defend herself if anything happened.  Kat was…she was better at the talking thing than I was.  She knew what to say and when to say it, which was good," Rik said.  She laughed suddenly.  

"We hired out all these vampire movies," Rik continued.  "Dracula, Blade, Interview with a Vampire.  I knew what she was doing.  They started this debate as to whether or not vampires were real.  She was testing Ami, seeing if she would be ready for it, seeing if she had the capacity to believe.  But…she didn't.  When Kat asked if Ami thought that vamps were real, she just shot her down.  And I knew it would be a lost cause.  We didn't try again after that."

Buffy just stayed quiet, wondering how it all ended.

"Anyways, me and Kat got closer, and…we just sorta drifted away from Ami.  We didn't mean to, but…she kinda let us go.  Then…when Kat disappeared, I…I shut down.  Distanced myself completely from Ami even though she was hurting too.  She wanted us to be friends again, but…I couldn't do it.  I couldn't open up that side of my life to anyone ever again.  So…I latched more onto Ryan which ended up being good until bloody Jack Sampson happened."

Buffy managed a small smile and put the spoon for her ice cream on the table, the empty carton sitting on the floor beside her bare foot.

"You've been the Slayer for what?  Six months?  It sounds like you've had about as much bad stuff happen as I have, and I've been doing this for six years.  It can't have been easy," the blonde Slayer said quietly.

"It never is."

~*~ 

It was well past three thirty when the front door to the Summers house opened, both Slayers, still on the couch, looked up in unison.

Dawn Summers walked in, her backpack slung over one shoulder and one of her hands lost within the grip of another hand.  Buffy's eyes widened with shock but she immediately got a hold of herself.  She had promised herself that if and when Dawn started showing an interest in boys, she wouldn't be the embarrassing mom who forbade their children to do anything.

Buffy and Angel had snuck around for nearly a year before Joyce had even found out about their relationship, something that Angelus had thrown in Joyce's face to hurt her.  And it had worked.  Buffy learnt the hard way about secrets and the damage they caused, and had passed that lesson on to Dawn.

Dawn and the teenage boy immediately let their hands drop when they realised they had an audience, the fifteen year olds turning a bright shade of red.  Buffy bit back a grin at the embarrassment and stood up, letting the blanket on her lap fall to the floor.

"Hey Dawnie," Buffy greeted.  She smiled at the brown haired boy whose hair fell in his eyes and she stuck out her hand politely. 

"I'm Buffy Summers, Dawn's sister," she said.

Dawn almost let out a sigh of relief when she realised her sister wasn't about to throw a tantrum in front of her…boyfriend?  She certainly hoped that's what he was.

"Nice to meet you Buffy," he replied, shaking Buffy's hand.  Buffy immediately noticed that he was profusely nervous, his palms distinctively sweaty.  "I'm Kevin."

"Are you gonna be home for dinner tonight?" Buffy asked, directing her gaze to her sister.  There was a mischievous glint in her eyes and Dawn's face lit up.  

It was almost as though they were two years back, when Joyce had still been alive.  Dawn always covered for Buffy and Buffy always covered for Dawn.  Except now they didn't have to cover anything from any parental figures.  Still…Dawn thought it was nice that Buffy was trying for normality.

"I was kinda gonna ask you about that actually," Dawn began nervously.

Buffy grinned and just nodded her head before her sister rambled out a question.

"Home by eleven thirty, okay?" she said.

Dawn's eyes widened, completely shocked.

"Are you serious?" she asked.

Buffy just nodded and almost stumbled backwards when Dawn flung herself into her sister's arms.  If it weren't for Slayer reflexes, they would have been a tangled mess on the floor of the entry.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you," Dawn squealed. 

Kevin watched the entire display with amusement clearly on his face.  He had only ever seen the older Summers girl once, when Buffy had come to the school to inform Dawn that their mother had died.  But now, she looked so different.  There was light in her eyes, her face smiling.  The difference was so stark, he almost wondered whether or not they were the same person.

Dawn stepped out of the hug, and grabbed Kevin's hand again, dragging him up the stairs, leaving Buffy shaking her head and smiling.  It was nice to see Dawn actually smile, and even though Buffy felt that Dawn was a little too young to be dating, it was obvious that there was chemistry between the two teenagers.

Buffy went back into the living room and sat down beside her fellow Slayer who just grinned.

"She always that hyperactive?" Rik asked.

"Nah," Buffy replied.  "It's usually _far _worse."

The front door opened again and once more, the Slayers turned as one to see who had entered.  Buffy felt her heart almost stop as she saw Tara hesitantly step inside.

"Tara," Buffy said, her voice suddenly becoming almost an octave higher than it should have been.

Tara half-smiled and made her way into the living room, sitting on the single sofa across from where the two Slayers were sprawled on the couch.

"Hey guys.  You uh…h-h-haven't seen Willow around have you?" she asked quietly.

Erika shook her head, but Buffy nodded slowly.  

"She uh…she went back to her parent's place.  I went and spoke with her last night, but…she didn't say anything about coming back here," Buffy explained gently.

Tara nodded, a frown working it's way onto her face.

"I uh…I just wanted to come and uh…pack up my stuff.  You know…just move everything back to the dorms," the blonde witch said quietly.

"Tara no!  You don't have to move out.  I mean…unless you actually want to but…I love having you here.  This is your home as much as it is mine.  I mean…you stayed here for six months to look after my kid sister, and…you're family," Buffy said.

Tara smiled at that.  She remembered when her family had tried to come and take her back home when she had turned twenty, but Buffy and the others had fought for her to stay in Sunnydale.  She had learnt that the Scooby Gang was her true family.  That blood wasn't always thicker than water.

"Thank you," Tara whispered, truly grateful that Buffy felt that way.  She did enjoy staying at the Summers' home, there was such a sense of family in the house that she didn't want to leave and go back to the dorm rooms.  But, she had thought about it all night and had come to her decision.  She wasn't about to back down now.

"I've…I've given it a l-l-lot of thought," Tara said.  "And, Willow and I had talked about what would happen if the s-s-spell worked.  And we were gonna move back to the dorms together when you got back.  I mean…if you didn't need us around the house.  And you don't really need us around, so…I'm gonna go."

Buffy nodded slowly, really not wanting to lose Tara and Willow from her household, even though she knew that neither of them were ever going to live with her again.  

"Well…I can't really stop you, but…I don't want you leaving just cos of what's happening between you and Will.  You're always welcome here, always, okay?" Buffy said.

Tara nodded, a smile coming to her face, tears in her eyes.  Buffy stood up and walked over to where the blonde witch sat, giving the girl an awkward hug until Tara stood up and returned it ardently.

"I…I hate to ask but…"

"We'll give you a hand," Buffy finished.  Tara smiled thankfully and watched as Buffy held a hand out to Rik who immediately took it and was pulled to her feet, trying, unsuccessfully not to get caught up in the blanket.

She grinned, a little embarrassed at her lack of co-ordination and threw the offending blanket to the ground.

"Gotta love a Slayer who can defeat Master vamps, but has trouble when it comes to getting up off the couch," Rik said with a smile, following the two older girls up the stairs.

"Don't worry, I've had some totally clutzy moments as well," Buffy replied.

"Example?"

"Oooo, far too embarrassing to mention," Buffy replied with a grin.

Tara hid her smile as she listened to the Slayers talking.  She had seen a complete turnaround in Buffy's mood ever since Buffy and Giles had got together and even more of an improvement when Buffy and Erika had begun getting to know each other.  And it had only been a day.  Things could only get better.

"Oh come on.  You're talking to the Queen of embarrassing stories here," Rik replied.

"Well…one of my non-shining moments.  I purposely gave myself a temperature of a hundred and seven a couple years bag.  Drank a glass of water with a virus in it."

"Wait…a hundred and seven that's like…geez, that's like forty two degrees or something," Rik calculated.  "You did that on purpose?"

Buffy looked at the younger Slayer with confusion.  "That'd be a 'huh?' to the first part and a big yep to the second."

"Oh…you measure your temperature in Fahrenheit, and I was just putting it into Celsius," she explained.

Buffy nodded, just going with it.  Rik rolled her eyes at Buffy's obvious lack of understanding.

"It's like how you measure things in miles and I measure things in kilometres.  Just a different way of looking at stuff, but…my ways far easier to remember," Rik teased.

Buffy swatted her fellow Slayer on the arm, a hit that would have made Xander or Willow wince, but only caused Rik to grin and hit back.

------------------------

It took nearly half an hour to get Tara's side of the room completely packed up, and both Buffy and the blonde Wiccan regarded the room with sad nostalgia.

"It won't be the same here without you," Buffy said quietly.

Tara smiled, wishing that things could have been different, but things were as they were and Tara couldn't change them.  

"I'll miss you and Dawnie too.  And Giles," Tara said.

"And Will?" Buffy asked quietly.

She saw Tara's eyes darken and cloud over, pain filling them.  Buffy understood the feeling.  Disappointment, anger, and a tinge of sadness.

"I honestly don't know.  She…she's been lying to me for months," Tara said.

Buffy sat down on the bed, Rik quietly leaving the room, knowing that the two friends needed time alone, which she was more than willing to give them.

Tara sat down beside the small Slayer and played idly with a pillow.  She and Buffy hadn't spent that much time together at all, their only real bonding moment had been when Joyce had died and they had been left alone at the hospital together.  

"I don't think she meant to hurt anyone.  You know her Tara.  You probably know her better than any of us and…and she made some really bad mistakes, made some pretty crappy choices, but…I think, in the end, her heart may have been in the right place," Buffy said.

Tara looked at the girl, wondering how the Slayer could possibly have it in her to forgive her best friend who had put her life, her soul in jeopardy.

"I'm not saying that you have to forgive her right away," Buffy continued.  "I know I'm not ready to forgive and forget just yet, but…maybe one day.  I just…it's gonna take some time but…she needs you Tara.  And you need her."

Tara nodded, knowing that she did need Willow in her life.  Before she had met Willow she had been afraid to stand up to anyone, even if she knew she was in the right.  Now, with Willow and the other Scooby's as friends, Tara had taken on a hellgod and survived.  She had shown her loyalty to the gang by not betraying the identity of the Key.  She had stood up to her family.  She was different, better, because of Willow.

"I just hope that you won't stop coming round here cos…me and Dawnie are kinda fond of ya," she said, smiling.

Tears slipped down Tara's face and she impulsively pulled Buffy into a hug that the Slayer returned with fervour.

"You're a good friend," Tara whispered.

Buffy just smiled and gently eased out of the hug.  The downstairs door slammed shut and Buffy looked blankly towards the sound.  The girls heard heavy footsteps on the stairs and waited to see who would pass the door.

Giles stuck his head in the open doorway and smiled at the two girls.

"Afternoon," he greeted.  He stepped inside and did a double take as he took in the room.  "What happened in here?"

"I-I'm moving out," Tara said.

Giles looked at her, obviously upset.  "Oh, Tara, no.  You don't have to move out.  What happened had nothing to do with you," he said imploringly.

Buffy and Tara both smiled at that, making Tara question her leaving for about the millionth time in an hour.

"It's alright Giles," Tara said.  "I've made up my mind.  I uh…I just have to find a way back to the dorms with all my things."

"Well, I've got my car down the front.  I'd be happy to take you and your belongings back to the dorm if you feel you absolutely must go," he offered.

"Thank you," he said, deliberately ignoring the second part of his statement.  If she had to explain things for another time, she might have just gone crazy.

Buffy and Tara stood up, Buffy grabbing two of the heavier boxes as Tara struggled with the one.

"Hey Giles, Dawnie's going out for dinner tonight, so it's just you and me," Buffy said.

She couldn't have been happier when she saw Giles eyes light up with delight.  Things were definitely on the up.


	17. Watcher's Pet

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN: WATCHER'S PET

The sun had set and Spike could feel his stomach beginning to protest about the lack of food.  He sighed and stood up, stalking towards the mini fridge he kept in the downstairs section of his crypt.  He sighed even louder when all he saw was two bottles of beer and half a packet of O negative.

He picked up the small packet and quickly drained it, throwing the empty plastic against the wall in frustration.

He grabbed his coat and walked into the night, walking along the familiar path to Willy's.

The rodent two-timing informant cowered as the door swung open.  Spike thought this man to be a complete paradox.  For someone who dealt daily with demons, he was certainly twitchy.

"S-Spike," Willy greeted, moving backwards a little as Spike approached.

Spike just nodded and sat himself down on one of the stools.

"Just the usual thanks mate," Spike said.  "And don't try and skimp me like last week.  Only ends in trouble, remember?"

Willy just nodded and moved to the back storeroom.  He returned carrying a plastic bag filled with plastic containers.  Spike counted them quickly and threw his money on the counter.  He stood up, too hungry to even contemplate staying for a drink.

"Hey Spike," Willy called.

Spike turned.

"What?" came the growled reply.

  
Willy just held out a small business card with an address written on the back.

"What's this?" Spike asked tiredly.

"Thought you might wanna get your girlfriend to have a squiz at this place, y'know.  Heard some vamps in here earlier, talking bout a domesticated girl," Willy said.

Spike's eyes narrowed.  "Domesticated?  We talking bout a bloody vamp's pet?"

"_Ex_ vamp's pet."

"The Watcher?" Spike asked.

Willy nodded.  

Spike looked at the address again.  It had been an entire day since Rik had dusted her vamped Watcher.  The chances of this girl even being alive were slim to none.

"She's probably dead by now."

"Vamps don't like killing the domesticated humans," Willy said, a sad smile on his face.  "Free blood and a free fuck."

Spike felt his stomach lurch with disgust at the thought.  Even in the worst of his days he had drawn the line about human pets.  Feeding was fine, but nothing else.  Rape was ugly, distasteful.  Angelus had been big on that scene, but Spike had never been able to do it.  Not after seeing how Drusilla had turned out after Angelus' games.  Spike had in fact killed several of Angelus' pets just to let them escape from the torturous demon.

Spike was out the door before Willy had a chance at a last comment.

------------------------

He burst through the Summer's door, not even bothering to knock.  The house was surprisingly quiet, though it was a comfortable silence, rather than the strained silence that the house had sat in several days ago.

"Slayer!" Spike yelled, directing his voice up the stairs.

"Spike."

Spike nearly jumped when he heard the soft voice behind him.  He put a hand to his heart melodramatically.

"Geez Slayer, give a guy a heart attack why don'tcha?"

She just rolled her eyes at that.  "Yeah, yeah, I scared ya to death.  What's up?"

He handed her the card, which she just looked at before handing it back to him.

"And?" 

"Ever heard of a pet, luv?" he asked.

"What, you mean like kittens and puppies and stuff?" she asked.

He rolled his eyes and wondered why the Powers that Be had chosen this girl as their warrior.

"I mean a vamp's pet."

Her eyes narrowed.  She had heard of them, mostly when she had been reading through ancient tomes of Angelus' past deeds.  She had been disgusted and dismayed, but somehow, she had looked past all that and saw only her sweet suffering Angel who had a soul and was suffering enormous guilt for Angelus' crimes.

"I take it you've heard about them, then," he commented.

"Yeah.  What's the deal?"

"Word down at Willy's is that the Watcher had one.  Makes sense seeing as he wanted his first kill to be his Slayer.  But he still wanted human blood, craved it.  So he probably took a pet to feed the bloodlust.  And…well, the other lust."

He hated seeing the pained look on the Slayer's face.  

"Let's go," she said resolutely, grabbing her coat that hung next to the door as well as the crossbow that lived permanently next to the coat rack.  They were walking briskly down the street before he even really could take in what had jut happened.

------------------------

With stakes raised, the vampire and the Slayer crept into the old warehouse.  Spike could smell the blood immediately and even Buffy could smell it.  The building smelt of death and decay, a combination that neither of them particularly liked.

Spike stopped momentarily and looked upwards, inhaling the air deeply.

"You getting anything?" Buffy asked quietly.

He pointed at the ceiling above them.

"Directly above us."

"Any vamps?"

He listened carefully.

"Two, maybe three.  And the girl."

"You can tell it's a girl?" she asked.

He looked at her and gave a small shrug.

"They're usually always girls."

Her gaze darkened even further and Spike raced to keep up with her as she took the stairs two at a time.

Without even waiting to make sure Spike was behind her, she kicked open the wooden door and entered the room.  She nearly reeled backwards when the stench of the room hit her all at once.  Blood and sex and dust and filth slammed her senses and she forced herself to stay standing.

She scanned the room and saw two of the three vampires look up in alarm.  The two that had looked up had been feeding, one from the girls wrist, the other from her neck.  The third vampire was first to become dust, too busy slamming into the girl to even look up.

The other two vamps stood up and moved towards the Slayer, fangs at the ready.

They hadn't counted on the intruder to be the Slayer.  And they definitely hadn't counted on Spike either.

The two vamps were dust within seconds and Spike just watched as Buffy raced to where the girl was laying, nearly unconscious.  She knelt down and felt for the girls pulse, finding it hard to find a pressure point that hadn't been bitten.

"We need to get her to a hospital," Buffy implored, never letting her eyes leave the girls battered face.

"Sunnydale Memorial's just down the road," Spike replied.

He was at her side, removing his coat.  He handed it to her and stepped back, not even allowing himself a single glance at the blood.  He still hadn't had time to feed and his demon was just begging to be let out to play.  But he could control himself.  Unless he got a look at that blood.

"Spike, help me," Buffy said quietly.

"Can't luv," he whispered, struggling to not shift into game face.

She looked at him and saw his struggle and set about the task herself.  She got the girl into a sitting position and put the coat around her shoulders, quickly doing up the buttons to cover her bruised and naked form.

Buffy gently lifted the girl and Spike opened the door for her, wondering whether he'd ever get the girls smell out of his coat as she quietly bled to death in his jacket.

------------------------

They made it to the hospital in nearly record time, rushing into the emergency room, calling out for someone to help them.  Nurses came rushing towards them, seeing how pale the girl was.  Buffy idly wondered how on earth they could explain why the girl was so badly bruised, why there were bites marks all over her body.

The nurse took in the bites and glanced towards the receptionist.

"Page Dr Mitchell." 

The receptionist nodded and quickly followed orders.

"Let's get this girl into the OR."

A handful of nurses took the girl away on a gurney, leaving Spike and Buffy standing in the hallway to answer questions.

"Is she a friend of yours?" the nurse asked.

Both Buffy and Spike shook their heads.

"No…no, we've never met her before," Buffy replied.

The nurse nodded.  In Sunnydale there were many cases where people were brought in by complete strangers.  Many of them told tales of men and women with deformed faces and sharp teeth.  Others told of their rescuer, a small blonde girl who fought with the fury of a storm.  Others were brought in and taken to the morgue, only to be found missing after their autopsy.

"You don't know anything about her?  Not even a name?  There was no ID on her?" the nurse continued.

"No.  The uh…the coat's Sp-William's," Buffy said, pointing to Spike.  "We uh…we found her in an old warehouse."

The nurse narrowed her eyes.  "What were you doing in a warehouse?"

Buffy looked at Spike, a little panicked.  He casually threw his arm around her and held her tightly to him.

"Tried scaring my lady," Spike replied, oozing with charm.  "Worked a little too well."

Buffy looked at him incredulously but knew that if she wanted the nurse to believe the story she'd have to play along.

"Jerk," she replied, shoving him playfully.

The nurse just nodded, wondering why men tried to get the girls to feel scared only to turn around and protect them.

"Will uh…will you let us know when she gets out of surgery?" Spike asked.

Buffy did a double take at that.  Spike was concerned for someone outside of their circle?  Then again, he had been awfully protective of Erika the second she had joined the Scooby Gang.  Perhaps it wasn't just the Scoobies that Spike was protecting.  Maybe under his rough exterior, he really was just a softie.

"Of course."

The nurse left them alone and Spike took a seat in the hallway, leaving Buffy to either stand and stare at him or sit beside him.

She sat.

------------------------

"You think she'll be okay?"

It had been over an hour and the odd pair had sat in silence, listening to the surrounding sounds of the hospital.  Soft footsteps passing them, consistent calls over the PA system, alarms, sirens, orders.

Spike looked at the Slayer tiredly.

"I don't know luv.  Physically…maybe.  But up here," he said, tapping his forehead.  "She'll never be the same again."

Buffy sighed, tears in her eyes.  She'd never even met this girl, never spoken to her, never even heard her voice, but she feared for the life that this girl would now have.  The hospital couldn't even get in touch with her parents to let them know she'd been found.  The hospital still had no idea of who this girl was.

"I wonder what she was like…before."

Spike took her hand and gave it a gentle squeeze, marvelling at the fact that he was allowed to do that.

"No use wondering luv.  You'll never know.  And I don't mean to sound pessimistic, but…you don't come out of something like that the same.  No matter how strong you are."

Buffy went silent again for a good twenty minutes before she looked up at him with an inquisitive eye.  He answered her before she even asked.

"Never."

Her eyes narrowed, wondering how he knew what she was going to ask.

"How-"

"I know you Slayer," he replied.  "And I never had a pet."

She nodded, knowing that he was telling her the truth.  He had no reason to lie.  

"Angelus did," Buffy whispered.

Spike just nodded, uncertain of where the Slayer was going.

"I'd never even thought about it before, but…seeing her in there.  Seeing that vampire…raping her.  Knowing that Angelus had no problem with taking pets…it's disgusting," she whispered.

"That it is, luv.  S'why I never did it.  Not after…Angelus did that to Dru. Played with her, made her insane.  And I loved Dru with everything that I was.  And I pitied her as much as I loved her.  She went through hell and came out crazy.  I didn't want to see any other girls turn out like that," Spike explained.

Buffy went to say something but the ER doctor approached them.  Buffy and Spike stood simultaneously, twin looks of concern etched on their faces.

"Is she okay?" Buffy asked.

The doctor nodded.  "We've given her a lot of blood, and we've given her shots in case of rabies.  Now, I'm used to specialising in cases such as these, where there are mysterious bites, and I'm going to assure you that she's going to be fine.  Her body will recover."

Buffy breathed a sigh of relief.  "Thank god."

"However, she's had a very traumatic experience.  Some of the cuts and bruises on her body look as though they've had over a month to heal.  I'd say that whoever was doing this to her had been at it for quite some time," the doctor explained.

Spike turned away, disgusted.  

"Did you find out who she is?" Spike asked.

"She's sleeping at the moment.  She was so disorientated, very confused.  We've sedated her for now; she'll be asleep for the next six hours or so.  I got the receptionist to go through the missing persons report, but there no one on it that matches her description.  She's probably not a local," the doctor explained.

"Can…can we see her?" Buffy asked.

The doctor hesitated at that but finally nodded.  The girl had no family, and if she woke up earlier, at least then she would find someone her own age, rather than finding a middle-aged doctor.

"Try not to disturb her.  The second she wakes up, I want you to press the call-button beside her bed."

Buffy nodded and listened carefully to the doctors instructions on how to get to the girls room.  She and Spike walked in silently and sat down beside the bed to wait, neither one sure why they cared so much, but somehow knowing that they had to.


	18. Jane Doe

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN: JANE DOE

Buffy has drifted off to sleep, but Spike was content enough to alternate between watching the unknown girl sleep and watching Buffy sleep.  A much as he said he was alright with Buffy and Giles being together, part of him still wished that it was him making her smile.  

It had been over six hours, Buffy had made a phone call to Giles, telling him that she was at the hospital.  Spike had listened with a smile on his face when Buffy had had to repeat several times that she was _at_ hospital, not _in_ hospital.  Giles had been told not to wait up and that Buffy would be back when she got back, not knowing when she would be home.  She didn't want this girl to wake up and not have a single young face to wake up to.

And, even though she trusted Spike with her life, she didn't want the poor girl to wake up alone with a vampire either.  She knew Spike would never hurt the girl, but the girl wouldn't know that.  And waking up with a man in leather beside your bed probably wouldn't be too comforting.  Not to mention the fact that waking up in a bed that had the name 'Jane Doe' written above the bed head would be enough to frighten anyone.

Spike looked up when he heard a small moan.  He looked at the girl on the bed intently, and casually leaned back in his chair, shifting into a non-threatening pose.

He watched the girls eyes open and close quickly, the girl wincing as the light had hit her.  The warehouse had been dark, not pitch black, but dark enough that the bright lights of the hospital were painful.  

She took in her surroundings quite calmly, Spike thought.  As her eyes adjusted to the light, he watched as her body almost relaxed. 

Then again, who wouldn't relax after being taken out of a hellhole warehouse.  Hospital was far better, even though there was still the whole issue of needles and doctors.  

The girl suddenly tensed and looked directly at him.  He didn't blink, didn't even make a single expression.  Her eyes narrowed.

"You're a vampire," she whispered.

That certainly got his attention.  Most people couldn't guess that he was a vampire, he rarely wore his game face and for the most part, acted human, especially lately.  The fact that this girl could automatically tell that he was a vamp was astonishing.  Then again, she had spent the last month or so in the company of vampires.  She had probably learnt to tell when they were close.

"Yeah," he replied casually.  "What of it?"

She didn't reply, only swallowed and half sat up.  Her gaze drifted towards Buffy who was still sleeping.

"And her?  Is she one too?"

"No…she's not a vamp," he replied.

He could tell the girl was tired, probably exhausted, but she was fighting to stay awake.  Probably didn't want to let her guard down with a vampire in the room.

"Are we…we're not in England are we?"

He shook his head and finally placed her accent.  She was Australian.  It made sense.  The second Slayer was Australian and the Watcher had probably brought her over from the Slayer's hometown.  Which meant that Rik would probably know who she was.

"But…we're not in Sydney anymore?"

"No.  Sunnydale actually.  In California," Spike replied.

She opened her eyes and wondered why a vampire would be interested in making conversation with her.  The vampires she had met had wanted one of two things.  Her blood or her services.  Never a conversation.

"Go to sleep pet," he said, internally wincing as the endearment slipped out.  She looked at him before letting her eyes close.  She either trusted him with her life or expected him to take.  The fact that she was willing to let him do either was terrifying.

Spike gently shook the sleeping Slayer.

"Huh?  What?  Is she awake?"

"She just woke up luv," he replied.  "She went back to sleep."

"She okay?" Buffy asked, sounding as sleep deprived as she felt.

"Sort of," he replied.

"Did you get find out her name?" she asked.

He shook his head.  "She was too tired.  Still pretty out of it as well.  She's an Aussie girl."

Buffy looked at him blankly and he rolled his eyes, excusing her cluelessness as sleepiness.

"She's from Australia.  She said she's from Sydney."

"One of Rik's friends, you think?" Buffy asked.

Spike shrugged and nodded.  "Maybe."

Buffy thought for a moment and was horrified at the thought.

"Oh god," she whispered.

Spike dropped to his knees in front of her, clutching her hand supportively.

"What?"

"Ami," Buffy replied.

"Huh?"

"Ami.  Rik's friend in Sydney.  Ryan probably woulda gone for her closest friends, knowing that Rik would rise to the bait if she knew that they'd been taken."

"Well, before we go blurting out that the girls' best friends been nabbed and turned into a pet, maybe we should get our facts straight first.  S'not good to rush headfirst into something that we don't know enough about," Spike rationalised.

"Good point," Buffy said quietly.

Spike looked out the window and saw the sky beginning to lighten outside.

"I need to get back to my crypt before I become small enough to fit into a dust duster.  Go talk with your number two and scout around.  Don't just blurt it out Slayer.  I know tact's not exactly your strong suit, but just give it a try," he said with a grin.

She swatted him on the arm for that and stood up with his help.

"Sounds like a plan.  I'll come back here after lunch and see how she's doing," Buffy said.

Spike nodded and hesitated before asking.  Buffy noticed that he looked as though he wanted to ask something and Buffy almost smiled as she realised what it was.

"I'll let you know how she's doing."

He smiled, thankful that he didn't have to embarrass himself by saying it.

"Thanks."

At six thirty, Buffy knew that Rik would be awake.  It was the Slayer's internal body clock.  Buffy had previously just thought it was hers, but Faith had been complaining about it often enough for Buffy to realise that it wasn't just a Buffy Summers bonus, but a Slayer deal.  It sucked, but at times like these, it was kind of okay.

She knocked on the younger Slayer's dorm room door and it opened within seconds, a dressed and showered Slayer poking her head around the door.

"Hey Buffy," Rik greeted happily.  

Buffy nodded and walked into the room, taking in the assorted objects.  In one corner sat a guitar and an amplifier, in another corner was an expensive looking sound system.  On the desk sat a computer that was giving off a low hum and on the walls were posters and photos and quotes.

"Nice room," Buffy commented.  

"Thanks," Rik replied.  "I'm just grateful that I got my own room.  The Council certainly isn't being all frugal with their money."

Buffy smiled at that.  She owed the Council a fair bit.  If it weren't for them, she would be up the proverbial creek without a paddle.

"So…what'cha up to?" Buffy asked, sitting herself down at the desk.

"I just got off the phone with Kim.  That's Kat's mum.  Ever since…well, we've been keeping in contact.  She told me that she and Ami's mum started talking and Ami's just started opening up about everything.  She's…turns out she's started getting counselling over the whole thing.  I kinda feel guilty about not being there when she needs me," Rik said quietly.

"It's not your fault," Buffy replied.

At least now she knew it wasn't Ami who had been taken.  Perhaps it was just a random Sydneysider, someone who had been easy pickings for a vamped Watcher.  

"Yeah I know.  But still…it can't be easy to go through something like that alone.  At least I had Ryan…for a while," Rik said, her eyes beginning to blur with tears.  

She shook her head, trying to clear away the depressing thoughts.  

"Anyways," Rik said, trying to bounce into a happier mood.  She sat down on the bed cross legged and reached for her guitar, strumming softly so as not to wake up any of the surrounding residents.

"You're pretty good on that thing," Buffy commented after a few minutes.

Rik smiled.  "Thanks.  Kat taught me.  It's uh…it was hers.  The guitar.  But her mum, Kim…she…she gave it to me just before I left.  When I went to do the whole goodbye thing, she…she said I could have it."

Buffy wasn't sure how to reply to that.  What exactly could be said?

"So uh…what brings you here at this hour anyway?" Rik finally asked.

Buffy shrugged, almost having forgotten about the reason she was there.  The nameless girl in the hospital.  How she had forgotten, she didn't know.  The image of that vampire raping the girl was forever seared in her memory.  She had only ever hated a handful of vampires in her life.  That vamp was one of them.

"Just thought I'd check out your room.  I knew you'd be up," she said.

Rik grinned and put the guitar back on its stand.

"Don't you hate that whole, up at six-thirty internal clock thing?  So annoying," she exclaimed.

"Yeah I know.  Really kills your Saturday mornings, hey?"

"I'll say," Rik agreed.

Rik went quiet for a moment before she looked up at Buffy with a serious expression.

"I uh…I spoke to Tara last night," she said.

"Oh?"

"She's nice.  Kinda quiet, but…once you get past that, she's…she's pretty funny," Rik said.

Buffy nodded, knowing that she had never really taken the time to get to know Tara, something for which she had no real excuse.  She loved Tara, that was for sure, but she didn't know her as well as she could.

"She knows…about where you were."

Buffy stared at the other Slayer blankly.  "Where I was?"

"When you died.  She knows you weren't in hell."

Buffy's eyes went blank.  For a while she had completely forgotten.  She had been so focussed on finding out who the poor girl lying in hospital was that she had forgotten about her own pain.  It had been nice to think about something else for a while.

"How…how did she find out?  How did _you_ find out?" Buffy asked.

Rik gave a sad smile.  "She uh…we were talking about it.  She was kinda explaining stuff.  About life here without you.  How everything fell apart.  And she mentioned that maybe Willow had been wrong about you being in a hell dimension.  And…I didn't really do much to discourage that thought."

Buffy nodded, not really certain about what to say.  So now Spike, Giles, Rik and Tara knew her secret.  It wasn't really much of a secret if half of the Scooby Gang knew it.

"And you…how did you find out?"

"A Slayer in hell?  It'd hafta be snowing there before any one of us was sent there," Rik replied.

Buffy nodded.  She, like Rik, had always been so assured that when Slayers died, no matter how they died, even if they were turned, they would be guaranteed a pretty good seat in the afterlife.  

"She wants to tell Willow," Rik continued.

Buffy looked up sharply.  Willow was on edge as it was; telling her that little piece of information would probably send her right over.

"But she won't.  She wants to talk to you about it though.  See how you feel and stuff."

Buffy nodded.  "Yeah…I'll…I'll talk to her."

Rik nodded and stood up, straightening her shirt and grabbing the leather coat that seemed to be permanently attached to her.

"I'm gonna go grab breaky.  You want?"

"Huh?"

"Breakfast.  You wanna come with?"

"Oh uh…no.  No, I should…I should get home," Buffy said.

Rik's eyes widened.  "You didn't go home last night?"

"No.  I was uh…at the hospital."

"Oh my god, are you okay?" Rik asked hurriedly.

"I'm fine," Buffy replied, holding up her hands to stop Rik's quick on-sight inspection.  "We just uh…we found someone who was pretty badly hurt.  Took them to the hospital."

"We?"

"Oh…me and Spike."

Rik paused at that and looked up thoughtfully.

"He finally worked out he didn't have a pulse and wanted to get a doctor to listen to his heart not beating?" Rik guessed.

Buffy grinned, trying to imagine Spike actually doing that.  Surprisingly, it was a fairly easy image to conjure up.

"Just helping a stray 'happy meal with legs' get to the hospital," Buffy explained.

Rik grinned and shoved her wallet into the pocket of her coat.

"Only Spike could call people that and get away with it."

"I think it's all about the accent."

Rik laughed a little and locked the door behind them.

"Yeah, what it is with Slayers and Brits huh?  We just attract them or something?"

"We'll just go with the 'or something'.  I swear, if Wes was even remotely attracted to me for a second, I will have to go and stake myself right now."

Rik looked up.  "Wes?  Wesley Wyndham-Price?"

"You know Wes?" Buffy asked.

"Never met the guy, but…Ryan spoke about him a lot.  Said that they didn't get along too well at school, that Wesley was always trying to prove how much better he was.  Ryan was naturally brilliant, but Wesley…he worked his arse off to become a Watcher.  Ryan said he was never any good at the field work.  That he'd get his Slayer killed in an instant," Rik said.

"He was right," Buffy replied.  "If it hadn't have been for Giles, I would've been dead.  I think even Wes knows that.  But…he's not a bad guy.  He had to move to LA and start killing demons in his own way to become a good guy, but…he's pretty decent.  Bordering on slightly cool."

Rik shivered at the thought, earning a laugh from the elder Slayer.  

The pair walked out of the dorm building and into the beginnings of what looked to be a gorgeous day.  

"Well, this is where I get off.  I'll see you on patrol, bout eight?" Buffy asked.

"Can't," Rik replied, frowning.  As much as she hadn't wanted to get into the patrolling, she found it hard to stay away from the blonde's enthusiasm.  There was just something about her that made Rik want to be around her.  She wondered if it were a Slayer trait or just a Buffy trait.

"You bailing on me?"

"Kinda.  We got given our first group assignments, and our self-appointed leader _Cindy_ wants to make sure we stay ahead of the rest of the class," Rik said, rolling her eyes.

"I feel your pain.  We'll catch up tomorrow then."

"For sure."

"Any word?" Spike asked, not bothering to look up when he heard the door to his crypt enter.  He was sprawled in front of the television, flicking between channels, trying to settle on a program that suited his mood.

"Nope.  I spoke to Rik, but she just spoke to her surrogate mom who said that Ami was doing just fine in Sydney."

"So is that good or bad?" he asked.

Buffy perched herself on the crypt opposite Spike and breathed out slowly. 

"I really don't know.  Visiting hours aren't for another hour and I don't really wanna sit in a waiting room."

"You're welcome to stay," he offered.

She nodded and made herself more comfortable.  Or as comfortable as she could get on a slab of concrete.  She sat indian style and looked off blankly into space.

"You tell Rik about the girl?"

"Nah.  Didn't wanna ruin her day.  I mean, it could just be someone really random for all we know.  Better safe than sorry.  Like you said…we wait to get all the facts."

Spike glanced at her and cocked his head to the side.

"Did you…no…I know I'm hearing things…" he said, a smile dancing on his face.

"You probably are.  But if you heard me say that you were right…well, enjoy it cos it's not gonna happen again," Buffy replied.

He laughed and stood up, stalking over to the fridge and pulling out a bag of blood and a can of soda.  He threw the can towards her and she caught it without even a heads-up from Spike.  

"Thanks," she said quietly.

"Welcome."

It was a full ten minutes before Spike turned the television off and turned to stare at her. 

"What?" she asked, uncomfortable under his sudden scrutiny.

"You're usually not this quite luv."

"I was being polite," she replied, suddenly defensive.

Spike scoffed at the remark.  

"Why do I find that so very hard to believe?" he asked.

Buffy rolled her eyes and just sipped at her drink, even though the can was empty.  It gave her a chance to look as though she was doing something with her mouth, rather than just being seen as silent.

"What's with the sudden introspection?"  

"Intro-what?"

"Introspective.  Inspecting your thoughts pet.  I thought you were meant to be smart," he taunted.

"I am smart," she sulked.  "I just…haven't been sleeping well."

He lost the grin almost immediately.  He had suspected as much.  Occasionally during the night he had heard a slight whimper come from the girl.  Nightmares, plain and simple.  But Buffy had seen things that no one should ever have imagined, let alone fought.  Her nightmares were more than your average gigantic spider.  Plus, the memory of clawing the way out of a coffin wouldn't be too thrilling a dream.

"You still haven't told any of em," he said, stating, not asking.

"Well, you and Giles know.  And Rik knows.  And she said that Tara suspected it and Rik did nothing to deny it, so Tara knows.  I think she wants to sit down and talk to me," Buffy said.

"Well, Wiccan girls a pretty safe one to have a chat with I'd wager.  She's not one to judge," Spike said.

Buffy nodded.  "I know.  I just…I don't want to come between her and Willow.  I just…I want it over Spike.  Done.  I just…you know, I really wish none of this had happened.  Things are finally sort of okay for me, and then this new and wonderful problem comes up.  When they say Chosen One, they really mean Chosen.  They won't choose anyone else.  Everything seems to happen to me."

"Makes life interesting luv," he replied.

She rolled her eyes and shifted her position when she felt her feet beginning to fall asleep.

"I wish I had a dull life.  Even for one day.  That'd be nice."

"You and dull just don't mix Slayer.  Just accept it."

Buffy smiled.  "Will once told me that I was above all things average.  She got that a little too right."

Spike's gaze darkened at the mention of the red-head.  Buffy noticed the change in his usual care-free demeanour.

"What?"

"Nothing," he replied quickly.

"Come on Spike.  I just bared my soul.  You could at least return the favour," she said, pouting a little.

He grinned and chuckled a little.  "Don't have a soul luv."

"Spike," she said, groaning out his name. 

"Oh fine.  I was just thinking…you're life woulda been a lot less complicated without Red in it.  Every spell she's ever done has messed up your life," he said.

"That's not true," Buffy replied quietly.  She wasn't sure that she was telling the truth, but she felt the need to defend Willow from a soulless creature who felt no remorse.  At least Willow felt a little guilty about some of the spells she had preformed.

"Oh really?" Spike asked.  "Let's see…the first spell she ever cast gave Angelus his bleeding soul back, which meant you had to kill him as Angel and not Angelus."

Buffy stared at the vampire incredulously.  How had he even known that?  

"What else…" Spike mused.  "Oh…her bloody will it so spell.  You and me getting all pelvic.  I can't imagine you thanking her for that one after it was over and done with."

"So she's made some mistakes.  No one's perfect.  And her spells have helped sometimes.  When Faith switched bodies with me, Will conjured up a katra thingy to switch us back," Buffy said.

Spike stared at her blankly.  

"Faith?  The other Slayer?"

"You met her?" Buffy asked.

"Brown hair.  Ye high?  Homicidal maniac?" he asked.

"That'd be her," Buffy replied.

"Nah, never met her," Spike said, a grin on his face when Buffy began to look confused.

Buffy rolled her eyes and quickly crushed the empty soda can with her hands.  She glanced at her watch and her eyes lit up as she realised she could finally go to the hospital and get away with visiting the poor girl who she and Spike had rescued the other night.

"I'll catch you later Spike.  I'll let you know how she is," Buffy said, jumping off the sarcophagus and walking past Spike who just waved his goodbyes and let the Slayer walk out into the sun.

TBC…


	19. Escape

CHAPTER NINETEEN: ESCAPE

She awoke with a groan and a slight sense of complete panic.  Of course, the panicking wasn't exactly a new thing for her.  For the last month though, she hadn't ever just woken up naturally.  Her usual awakenings was being hit, kicked or raped.  Sometimes a combination of all three.

Waking up in a bed with blankets seemed so…natural, and yet so completely out of place.  She had never got used to being subjected to the torture that dozens of vampires had inflicted on her, but it seemed so strange to suddenly be free of that.  She wouldn't wish it to be any other way.

To say that she was confused was an understatement.  She had been rescued by a vampire who, by all rights, should have been one of the creatures tormenting her, not helping her.  She didn't really want to sit around and ponder that thought for too long though.  

The vampire had said that they were in California, and she racked her brain trying to remember what town he had called in.  Sunnyvale?  Dale?  It sounded somewhat familiar.

She swallowed hard and sat up in her bed, trying desperately to ignore the incessant pounding in her head.  She shakily pulled out the IV lines that were attached to her arms and swung herself around to swing her legs over the bed.  She vaguely noticed that she seemed to be incredibly clean.  There were bandages over every bite mark that riddled her body, stitches on the cuts that were worse.  Her hair had been washed and combed and her fingernails even seemed to have been cleaned.

It took nearly five minutes before she was standing properly, still a little shaky, but far more stable than she had been on the first attempt.  She looked down at the hospital garment, the first piece of clothing she had worn in over three weeks.  On the chair next to the bed was a leather coat with blood stains on it.  Without knowing how she knew, she could tell the blood was hers.

She picked up the coat and pulled it around her small frame, buttoning it quickly.  She straightened her hair out and made a dash for the door, not stopping for anyone or anything until she was out of the hospital.

She began to breathe easier when she stepped into the sunlight.  It was something that had been denied to her for a month now, and the feel of its warmth surrounding her took her by surprise.  She hadn't realised how much she had missed the sunlight.  

Walking aimlessly, she stumbled upon the shopping centre, a neon sign advertising it to be Sunnydale Mall.  She shoved her hands into the pockets of the leather coat and pulled out small bits and pieces, surprised to see a few hundreds and fifty dollar notes.  Feeling only slightly guilty, she counted it and walked into the first store she found.

Twenty minutes later, the hospital garment had been discarded, and she had fitted herself with a pair of dark denim jeans and a red button up shirt.  With even less guilt, she had purchased a matching denim jacket and a pair of black boots.  

She stopped at the supermarket and purchased smaller items, a toothbrush, a hairbrush as well as something small to eat.  Before the horror of the last month, she had been studying to be a nurse and was thus well versed on the human body and re-acclimating it to normality.

She sighed at the thought.  As though she could ever be normal again.  Not only was she stuck with very little money left from an anonymous person's jacket, but she was trapped in a foreign country with no passport, no visa, and no identity.

With that depressing thought in mind, she walked out of the mall and back into the sun.

------------------------

Buffy walked into the hospital and up to the reception area, trying to wait patiently until the receptionist was off the phone.

"Can I help you?"  
  


"Uh yeah.  I uh…there was a girl brought in last night, she was…she was hurt pretty badly.  My friend William and I brought her in.  She uh…she was in room twelve.  I was just wondering if you knew how she was," Buffy said quietly.

The young woman behind the counter looked down at her computer screen and then glanced back up at Buffy.

"She seems to be healing rather well.  We've still yet to determine who she is though."

Buffy nodded thoughtfully.

"So, she's not awake yet?"

"A doctor's not scheduled to check on her for another five minutes, and…seeing as she hasn't pressed the call-button for help, I'd say she's still sleeping."  
  


Buffy nodded and quickly said thanks, walking down the hall towards the room she had slept in last night.  Before she could reach the door, she saw a doctor and a nurse head in first, and she figured she should probably wait outside until they were finished.

She hadn't counted on the medical pair rushing out two seconds later.

"How can she just be missing?" the nurse asked frantically.

Buffy didn't even hear the doctor's reply.  All she felt was a sick feeling in her gut.  The hospital was a public place, one that vampires had full access to.  If word had got out that the Watcher's 'pet' had been rescued and hospitalised, chances were that any vamps who had been utilising said 'pet' wouldn't be thrilled with the sudden lack of her services.

Without even realising it, she had turned around and strode out into the sunshine, once again heading back towards Spike's crypt.

------------------------

"She's missing," Buffy announced, throwing the crypt door open with flourish.

"Missing?  The chit from the hospital?"

"I went to visit her, but she wasn't there," Buffy explained.

Spike stood up from his recliner and turned his television off.  

"They let her out of there, just like that?" Spike asked incredulously, wondering why people had such faith in the medical system.

"She wasn't let out.  She just wasn't there.  The doctor who was meant to be looking after her is pretty much in hysterics.  They still didn't know who she was either," Buffy explained.

Spike ran a nervous hand through his hair, hating that he cared so much about someone he knew absolutely nothing about.

"Where the hell would she have gone?"

"That's what I'm worried about," Buffy replied, stealing his seat in the recliner.  Spike scowled but let her take it, making his way over to the sarcophagus and seating himself on it cross-legged.  "What if she was taken again?"

Spike considered that thought fairly seriously for a moment and then shook his head.  

"I don't think so.  She knew without a doubt that I was a vamp, and…well, as vampire's go, I'm not exactly all fangy and obvious about it.  She could tell what I was.  She wouldn't have let a vamp close enough to her.  Probably scarpered off the second she got a chance."

"But where?  It's not like she had any idea where she is?  She's got no money, no clothes.  God, I can't even imagine the hell that she must be going through." 

Spike looked away at that.  He could still hear her quiet voice from only two weeks ago.  _Everything I feel, everything I touch…this is Hell._

"I want to find her.  I just…I don't even know where to start.  I didn't really get too good a look at her last night," Buffy continued.

Spike thought for a moment and groaned audibly.

"What?" 

"She's got my bloody coat," Spike said angrily.  "I left it at the hospital.  That's probably how she walked out of there.  She was a tiny chit, only a little bigger than you.  That bloody coat woulda been massive on the likes of her.  S'got about four hundred quid in the pockets as well."

Buffy looked a little surprised at that.  She had never really thought about Spike and money before.  He had always bugged Giles about finances, but he had never struck her as the type of vampire who didn't have money.  Probably Angelus' influence.

"So…she's got money then.  She's probably gone shopping with it, bought some clothes.  Maybe something to eat.  I'll go check out the mall, see if I can see her there.  Hopefully she'll still be wearing you're ratty old duster."

"Ratty?  That's a bloody priceless jacket," Spike cried indignantly.

She just rolled her eyes and left the crypt, wondering not for the first time, why Spike was such a different vampire from every other vampire she had ever slain.  It didn't make sense.  Although, as long as he continued being one of the white hats, it didn't really need to make sense.


	20. Mistaken Identity

CHAPTER TWENTY: MISTAKEN IDENTITY

Buffy was halfway through the cemetery when the heavens opened up and the rain began to pour down heavily.  She shivered in the cold and wrapped her jacket around her a little more tightly.  

She hadn't even made it to the exit when a group of about five vampires had sprung up from one of the crypts.  She hadn't realised that there had been a nest so close by.  She and Spike should have heard about that before now.  She could only shrug and retrieve her stake from behind her back as the group of vamps realised they'd come across the Slayer.

The rain was making it a little hard to see and was throwing off her sense of timing.  She couldn't sense how close the vampires were to her, and their superior eyesight made it easier for them to get in cheap shots at her expense.  She had dusted two of them when one of the remaining three had turned his attention away from her and had looked directly behind her.

Buffy followed his line of sight, quickly staking one of the other two vampires who had also been attracted to the new scent in the air.

The first vampire who had turned pounced towards the newcomer, and Buffy was distracted by a kick to the face from the other remaining vamp.  She ducked to avoid another blow and grappled with the vampire for a moment before finally seeing an opening and thrusting a stake into his heart.

Buffy quickly scanned the area around her and saw a scuffle going on behind one of the taller headstones.  She couldn't see very well in the rain, but by the sounds of it, someone was working off some serious aggression.  She stepped closer, her stake still raised, uncertain as to whether the newcomer was friend or foe.

She watched as the vampire received a stick to the heart, looking decidedly annoyed as he turned to dust.  Buffy watched as a young woman tried to pull herself together, trying to wipe the grime away from her face, but only succeeding in spreading the mud further across her face.

The girl stood up shakily and Buffy finally got a better look at her.  The girl from the hospital.  Her eyebrows furrowed in confusion.  She couldn't understand how a girl who was obviously capable of kicking some vampire ass had been subjugated by a group of vamps for at least a month.

Somehow, in the pondering, the question had been answered in itself.  Spike had mentioned that vampires liked the free feed, which meant that the girl would have been kept weak to avoid her running away from them.  The hospital would have given her a transfusion to get her blood count back up to normal, and even though the girl had seemed a little shaky at first, she had definitely had a lot of potential.

The girl stared at Buffy for a moment, raising the stick that she had plunged into the other vampire.  Buffy immediately backed down, her hands going up in the air as a sign of friendship.  The girl stared at her a little more closely and recognised her.

"You're the girl from the hospital," she commented.

Buffy nodded and managed a small smile.  "That's pretty much what I was about to say to you."

The girl regarded Buffy cautiously, never letting her eyes leave the tiny girls frame.  Buffy's size was always a constant source of amusement to most vampires in Sunnydale.  It gave her the advantage of being underestimated however.  No one could understand how someone in such a small body could wield so much power.

"Where's the vamp you were with last night?" the girl asked.

'Direct and to the point,' Buffy thought.

"He's at home.  Probably sleeping or watching Passions," she replied.

Buffy had intended to confuse the girl and it had worked like a charm.  

"Passions?" 

"Yeah.  Some lame-ass soap-opera that he got addicted to.  He and my mom used to watch it together," Buffy said, a slight smile on her face as she thought of her mom.

The girl looked completely thrown and she leant her weight against a headstone, trying to keep herself standing.

"But…he's a vampire."

"Yeah.  He's a good guy thought.  Pretty funny once you get to know him.  He's harmless," Buffy said.  She almost winced at the though.  He could harm her now though.  The only person on the planet that he could actually hit without getting an electronic migraine and it just had to be her.

"But…you killed those other vamps.  Why would you let him live?" she asked.

"Those other vamps are killers.  It's…my job I guess.  Fate or destiny," Buffy said.

The girl paled and Buffy immediately felt a stab of worry pass through her.

"You okay?"

The girl looked up, white as a sheet.

"You're the Slayer?" she asked.

Buffy nodded, a little surprised that the girl had known who and what she was.  It wasn't often that people knew about her calling, and it was even less often that people told her that they knew.

"The Slayer before you…what was her name?" the girl asked.

Buffy was shocked at that question.  She had never asked Merrick or Giles the name of the girl before her.  She hadn't really wanted to know, hadn't really wanted to think about someone who had died in her own line of work.  She had never wanted to think about the person who would one day take over from her, but had inadvertently ended up meeting not only the first replacement, but the second and third as well.

"Uh…I don't know.  I never asked," Buffy replied.

Buffy heard the girl swallow loudly and if Buffy hadn't have been the Slayer, she would never have heard the whispered name that crossed the girl's lips.

"Rik."

Buffy looked up in shock.  Her first suspicion had been right.  This girl did know Rik.  And, now, this girl thought that Rik was dead.

"Did you just say Rik?" Buffy asked.

The girl looked up, tears in her eyes, and nodded.

"Rik as in Erika Wylcroft?" Buffy asked.

Again the girl nodded.

"I'm not her replacement," Buffy said, watching as the girl took the news in.  The girl looked up with hope written clearly in her eyes.

"But…there's only meant to be one Slayer at a time.  I mean…if you're the Slayer, how could you have been called if you're not her replacement?"

"Long story short, I've been the Slayer for six years now," Buffy said.  "I died for about a minute, activating another Slayer, she died, which meant another one, and then she killed herself, which meant Rik was called."

The girl swayed unsteadily and Buffy rushed to her side, putting a hand on the girls arm to keep her standing.  She didn't miss the almost unnoticeable flinch, but there was too much happening inside her head to push Buffy away from her.

"So…you know Rik then?" she asked hopefully.

Buffy nodded and gave a small smile.  "Yeah, she's here.  In Sunnydale."

The girl suddenly smiled brilliantly as though everything had suddenly been righted for the first time in her life.  Buffy took a step back from her and suddenly everything clicked into place.

This girl had been subjected to all sorts of horrors for the last month.   And, a month ago, Rik's best friend had given her own life in place of Rik.  Two weeks later, Rik's Watcher had been turned, and Rik had been sent to Sunnydale, her stalker vampiric Watcher coming after her with his own pet.  

Buffy stared at the girl and swallowed hard.

"You're Katiana aren't you?" she asked quietly.

The girl looked up, obviously shocked.

"How…how did you know that?" she asked.

Buffy smiled softly and leant on the headstone opposite the girl.

"Rik told me about you.  About what you did for her.  She…she was devastated, but…at the same time I think she realised how great a friend you were to be willing to do that for her," Buffy said.

Katiana just nodded, a tear slipping down her cheeks, mingling with the rain drops already on her face.

"She…she's my best friend.  Ever since we were little."

Buffy grinned and stood up straight.

"You wanna go see her?"

Katiana looked a little nervous at the thought.  She swallowed hard but finally gathered her courage, trying to work out why this girl would be helping her when she had no idea of who she was.

"What's your name?" Katiana asked.

Buffy stopped short, not having expected the question.  She laughed a little and stuck out her hand for Katiana to shake.

"Buffy Summers.  It's nice to meet you."

"Katiana Ashson," she replied.  "Better known as Kat.  And it's nice to meet you too."


	21. Reunification

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE: REUNIFICATION

Buffy led Kat through the halls of the UC Sunnydale dorms, making sure that Kat actually followed instead of stopping due to nerves.  They had already stopped twice and Buffy had assured her that Rik would definitely want to know about Kat being in Sunnydale, alive and well.

Buffy knocked on the door, not allowing Kat to back down, keeping hold of her wrist.

"Just a sec," Rik called from inside, followed by the sound of scuffling.  "I'm not exactly wearing much."

Buffy laughed a little and Kat managed a grin.

"Take your time Rik," Buffy called through the door.

"Oh, hey Buffy.  We're gonna be late to class at this rate," Rik called.

"Uh, you're probably not gonna go to class," Buffy said with a grin.

"Why not?  Oh, you can open the door," Rik said.

Buffy opened the door and walked through, griping Kat tightly by the rest.  Rik was busy tying her shoelaces and didn't bother to look up.

"You won't wanna go cos I met someone this morning who had a bit of an interest in you," she said.

Rik looked up and almost fell off the bed.  Buffy just smiled and touched Kat's shoulder gently.  

"I'll cover patrol tonight Rik," Buffy said quietly, hating to disturb the solemn mood in the room, but knowing that these two girls would need a lot of time to talk things through.

Buffy stepped back and shut the door, leaving the two old friends standing there staring at each other.

------------------------

Rik stood up slowly, her eyes still wide with shock, her breathing shallow and uneven.  She swallowed hard and wet her lips, trying to think of something to say.

Kat was the first to break the silence.

"What?  No hug for your best mate?" she said teasingly, though she sounded nervous and unsure of herself.

The half-quip was all Rik needed before she had bounded across the room and had hugged her best friend as though there were no tomorrow.  Kat hugged her back just as tightly, tears forming in both of their eyes.  They stayed locked in an almost painful embrace for five minutes or so, just assuring themselves that the other was truly there.

Rik was the first to pull away, looking at her friend incredulously.

"How is this possible?  I mean…they were gonna kill you," Rik said incredulously.

Kat just shrugged and shook her head, not even wanting to explain what had happened to her.  She hated having to think about it, let alone trying to speak of it to someone else.  Plus, if she explained what had happened to her, Rik would fall into further guilt, and from what Buffy had told Kat earlier, Rik wasn't feeling guilt free about Kat giving herself up.

Rik just hugged her friend even tighter, knowing that she could afford to miss her lecture for her old friend.

------------------------

Meanwhile, out in the hall, Buffy just smiled softly and went to move down the hall.  She heard her name being called from behind her and stopped at the sound.  She turned and smiled at Tara.

"Hey Tara," she greeted.

"Hey Buffy.  Are you going to class?" she asked.

Buffy nodded and Tara gestured for them to walk together.

"Were you just visiting Erika?" Tara asked.

"Yeah.  One of her friends is in town, so…she won't be at the lecture," Buffy explained.

Tara smiled gently and then stopped in the hallway.  Buffy felt her heart leap into her throat, knowing what would be coming next.

"Why did you lie to us in the shop that day?  About being in hell?" Tara asked.

Buffy was surprised by Tara's sudden lack of insecurity.  This Tara was forceful, blunt and incredibly direct.  The Slayer was so shocked that she didn't even notice the red-headed girl who had stopped in her tracks at the word hell, had gasped and run in the opposite direction.

Buffy swallowed hard trying to formulate an answer.  

"Could you have handled the truth?" Buffy asked gently.

Tara sighed and just closed her eyes in defeat.  She hated herself for being part of the spell that had practically ruined Buffy's life.  There was nothing they could do about the fact that they had performed the spell.  There was no way to take it back, and there was no way that anyone would even want to take it back.

"Tara, I'm okay.  Things aren't exactly…they're not exactly back to how they were, but…it's never gonna be like that again.  And I'm mostly okay with that.  My life doesn't suck.  I mean…I've got another chance.  And I am so thrilled to have a chance with Giles," she said, putting a hand on Tara's arm, letting the gentle witch know that there weren't too many hard feelings.

Tara nodded and pulled Buffy into a hug, surprising the short blonde girl immensely.  The two of them had never been too close before she had died, and it was a bit of a shock, but a welcome one.  Buffy returned the embrace and just squeezed Tara gently when the witch murmured a soft apology.

"You weren't to know Tara.  It wasn't your fault.  It wasn't anyone's fault," Buffy assured her.

Tara nodded and wiped tears from her eyes.  "I'm still sorry."

"You're forgiven."

Tara could only marvel at the tiny girl beside her.  Her eyes held no lies, and there was only complete forgiveness written behind them.  She had never met anyone like Buffy Summers, and she knew that she probably would never know anyone like her again.  

"So," Buffy said after a moments silence, "class?"

Tara just smiled and linked arms with the Slayer, walking towards the lecture theatre.


	22. Ringed

CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO: RINGED

The lecture ended on time, and the college students raced out the doors, trying to get away from their uncomfortable chairs at to the cafeteria as fast as they could.  Buffy Summers, however, remained in her seat, just watching as the Professor cleared the papers from his desk, packing them in his brief case.

Giles turned and caught Buffy's eye, smiling at her.

"Hey Giles.  Nice lecture," she said, standing up and making her way to the front of the room.  She slipped herself into his arms, savouring the feel of him.  She had missed sleeping in his arms the night before and was very much looking forward to being back in them that evening.

"Thank you," he said, gently kissing the top of her head.  "How's the girl from the hospital?"

She laughed a little and tilted her head to the side.  "You got an hour?"

He looked at her curiously.  "I have two actually before I have another class.  Why?"

She just took his hand and began dragging him towards the door.  "I'll explain over lunch.  Come on, I'm starving."

------------------------

They sat themselves down under a tree in the middle of an open grass area, Buffy laying down, her head in Giles lap as he leant against the tree for support.  He ran his hands through her hair, marvelling at how relaxed such a simple activity could make him feel.  

"The girl from the hospital was one of Erika's friends from Sydney?" Giles repeated.

Buffy nodded and just revelled in the comfort he was giving her by playing with her hair.

"Yeah.  Her best friend and her very own Scooby Gang of one.  The vamps in Sydney musta been pretty stupid cos Kat had convinced them that she was the Slayer instead of Rik," Buffy explained.

Giles sighed and idly wondered whether any of Buffy's own Scooby Gang would be willing to do something like that so that Buffy's own life could be saved.  He didn't have to think too long about the question.  They had put themselves in very real jeopardy to get Buffy back, even though it had been a grievous mistake.

"And now she's here.  That poor girl," Giles commented softly.

Buffy looked up at him and wasn't at all surprised by the compassion that her Watcher's face showed.

"She had it pretty rough.  I…I can't imagine would it must have been like for her.  And…the thing was, she was a really good fighter.  I can't imagine knowing that I could kick vampire-ass and still be subjected to…that," Buffy said.

"She'll need a lot of time to come to terms with it I suppose," he mused.

Neither one said anything and Buffy felt herself being slowly lulled to sleep by the gentle ministrations of his hands in her hair.  She relaxed against him, desperately wishing that the day could be over so that they could go back home and fall into bed.

"Buffy?" Giles whispered eventually.

She opened one eye and looked up at him.  He shifted his legs, causing Buffy to moan in protest.  He helped her to sit up and she tried to keep her eyes open.

He shifted his position once more, reaching into his pants pocket to retrieve a small box.  She looked at him cautiously, her breath catching in her throat.  Was that…?

"I uh…I know that you're not ready to be…well, more intimate than we have been," Giles said softly, his hands trembling a little as he held the small box in front of him.  "But, uh…I don't wish to…to waste a moment of what we have together.  And I know that things are still…difficult for you, which is why I'm not proposing, but…I wanted to give you this as a uh…token of my affection.  And as a promise that I will be at your side for the rest of my life."

A single tear slipped down Buffy's cheek as she listened to his words.  Giles just reached out and gently wiped the tear away, leaning forward to kiss her gently.  He managed to open the box and pull out a small ring, placing it onto her ring finger.  Buffy looked down at it and her breath caught in her throat.  The band was made from white-gold and had three small diamonds studs spaced evenly apart on the band.  She looked up at him, a smile on her face, trying desperately not to cry.

She leant forward and hugged him tightly.  Without even hesitating she brought her lips to his ear, kissing the earlobe before quietly whispering to him.

"If you hadda proposed, I would have said yes," she told him.

He pulled away, amazement written in his eyes.  He smiled brilliantly and took hold of her hands.

"Well, in that case, I feel the need to re-word what I just said," he said, his voice almost getting caught as he tried to formulate the words.

"For six years now, you've been my Slayer, my friend and my partner in all things, bar one.  I'd like to rectify that but making you everything that I have in life.  And I'd like you to be my everything for as long as you'll have me.  I would be the most privileged man on earth if you would let me take your hand for the rest of my life and allow me to stand beside you at all times.  Marry me?"

She could barely speak when she heard his words, sounding so much like poetry to her ears.  All she could do was pull him back into an almost painful hug and whisper a single word again and again.  "Yes."

------------------------

Meanwhile, on the other side of town, Willow ran, sobbing, throughout the streets of Sunnydale.  She wasn't even sure of where she was going, just knowing that she had to get away from the college.  All she could hear in her head was Tara's accusation towards Buffy.

_'Why did you lie to us in the shop that day?  About being in hell?'_

Buffy hadn't been in hell.  All logic had told her that Buffy had been suffering horribly.  But now, she knew that it wasn't the truth.  Buffy hadn't been suffering, she hadn't been in hell.  Which meant that she had been happy.  Her best friend had been resting peacefully in Heaven or some other happy dimension, and Willow had pulled her back into a world of pain and constant fighting.  

'You did make a mistake…about a few things actually, but…I didn't come back wrong, so…we're okay on that one.'

That's what Buffy had meant when she had told her about not coming back wrong after all.  Willow had made a mistake about Buffy being in hell.  It all suddenly made sense now.

Without any real thoughts or plans in her mind, Willow raced back to her room at the Summer's house, forgetting all about her self-imposed exile away from the household.  She raced up to her room, tearing through the wooden chest with all of her magick supplies, grabbing ingredients for a spell that she had found when researching Tara's condition after Glory had brain-sucked her girlfriend.  

It was a simple spell, to wipe away the memories of however long the caster wanted them to forget.  With a little reworking, Buffy's memories of being in Heaven would be taken, and she could finally be happy about being back.  Maybe then, Buffy would actually be grateful for being in the world, rather than depressed about the turn of events.  She could also work the spell to make Tara forget it as well.

Willow raced down to the fireplace in the living room, putting a small amount of Leathe's Bramble on the bricks and lighting it with a match.

"For Buffy and Tara, this I char.  Let Leathe's Bramble do its chore.  Purge their minds of memories grims, of pains from recent slights and sins.  When the fire goes out, and the crystal goes black, the spell will be cast.  Tabula Rasa, Tabula Rasa, Tabula Rasa."

She breathed a sigh of relief and slipped the crystal into her pocket.  She stood and went back up the stairs to make sure she tidied the mess she had left in her room so that Tara wouldn't be suspicious of what Willow had done.

As she left the room, a spark from the small fire flew onto the bag that Willow had left by the fireplace.  The fire spread through the bag of Leathe's Bramble and fizzled itself out, burning into a small pile of ash before Willow could come back down.

Willow bound down the stairs and out the door, not even casting a look towards the fireplace as she realised that there was only twenty minutes before everyone would be convening at the Magic Box to have their daily Scooby Meetings.  

With a quick feel of the pocket she had placed the crystal in, Willow made her way to the Magic Box.


	23. Tabula Rasa

CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE: TABULA RASA

Willow walked into the Magic Box, trying to keep her breathing steady.  She was nervous about this, but she new it would work, without a doubt.  The bell above the door tinkled as she entered and she took in the scene before her.

Giles and Anya were sitting at the table, going through the ledgers, talking shop about what needed to be ordered and how they should give loyalty discounts to some of their regular shoppers.

Dawn was sitting on the other side of the table, her books spread out in front of her, the girl chewing thoughtfully on the end of her pen, then frantically scribbling something down before the thought left her head.  Xander was sitting beside Anya, his feet on the table as he flipped through a menswear magazine advertising tuxedos.

Willow could hear the rhythmic punching from the training room, automatically telling her that Buffy was out the back.  They were only missing Tara and Rik, and when the bell jangled once more, Willow looked up and saw Tara enter, followed closely by a bleached blonde vampire, sans his duster.

Giles looked up and realised that the entire group was there.  He stood and went to the training room, smiling softly as his fiancée turned towards him, her face lighting up with a brilliant smile.

"Hey!" she said happily, abandoning the punching bag and going towards him, enveloping him in a quick hug.  "Is the gang here?"

He smiled and gently kissed her without answering her question, something that she really didn't mind.  When Giles pulled back Buffy pouted adorably and he couldn't help but kiss her again.  She smiled into the kiss and felt completely content in his arms.

"Everyone's outside," he said.

She smiled and leant her head against his chest.  "I'll get changed and meet you out there," she said.  "I'll be out in a sec."

He smiled and left the room, leaving Buffy to change in privacy.  She ripped off her tank top and replaced it with a fitted tee-shirt, spraying herself with some deodorant before slipping into a pair of black pants and her ankle length boots.  She exited the room, brushing her hair as she did.

She grinned again when she saw her fiancé sitting at the table beside Anya.

"Hey guys," she greeted.

The group looked up, waving or saying hello, some doing both.  Spike just nodded at her and she walked up behind Giles, kissing the top of his head affectionately.

"You wanna tell em, or should I?" she whispered.

He turned and stood up, smiling widely at her.  He moved away from the table to stand beside her, stepping back so that he could see everyone in the room.

"Uh…Buffy and I would like to tell you something," Giles began nervously.

The group looked up in interest, hoping that they wouldn't talk to them about some new Big Bad.  That thought was immediately killed when the group saw the brilliant smiles on both the Slayer and her Watcher.  Tara smiled softly as she realised what they were about to announce.

"Uh…this afternoon, I…I asked Buffy to marry me," Giles explained.  "And she's said yes."

Spike's face fell as he realised his chances with Buffy had just been completely obliterated.  He couldn't stop the smile that came to his face when he saw the massive grin on the girls face.  As long as she was happy, Spike could live with that.

He stepped forward and touched her shoulder softly.  "Congratulations."

She grinned at him and gave him a short hug.  "Thank you Spike."

He nodded once more and stepped back to allow the rest of the gang to bombard them with hugs and rapid fire questions about the ceremony.

As Anya hugged Giles, she looked up at him sternly, telling him they weren't allowed to have the ceremony before she and Xander's wedding.  Giles just smiled and let the girl hug him.  Anya pulled back and faltered a little, Giles automatically reaching out to steady her.  He led her to her seat and sat behind her.  

The entire group suddenly felt dizzy as Willow's backfired spell took effect.  Buffy's knees collapsed, Spike racing forward and catching her until he too felt the effects and the Slayer and Vampire fell to the ground in a heap.  

Willow and Tara collapsed to the ground, three feet between them.  Dawn and Xander collapsed onto the table while Giles fell with his head on Anya's back.

------------------------

One by one, the group began to stir.  Buffy felt something lying on top of her and wriggled to get free of it.  She jumped as she saw an attractive bleached blonde man dressed in black laying next to her.  As he stirred, he looked just as shocked to be on top of her.  They looked at each other warily until their attention was cast to the others in the small store.

Willow and Tara came to slowly, looking around with confusion.  They stood at the same time, their movements completely in sync with each other.  They looked towards each other and smiled hesitantly.  

Xander awoke with a start, his head jerking off the table.  He suddenly pushed his chair back and stood up abruptly, looking from one person to the next without hiding his obvious ignorance of what was happening.

Anya stirred, yawning a little, her movements awakening Giles.  He looked towards his pillow and moved his hand up to wipe at the small amount of dribble he had left on the floral pattern.  Anya stiffened under his touch and Giles looked surprised to see that it hadn't been a pillow where he was resting but a person.  

Dawn was looking increasingly scared as she regarded the other older people in the room.  They didn't look dangerous to her, but she had been taught by…someone…that just because someone didn't look dangerous, it didn't mean they weren't.  She stood, her eyes darting around the room frantically.

"Who…who are you people?" Dawn asked fearfully.

Buffy, feeling incredibly protective of the young girl, though she had no idea why, stood up and stepped forward, reaching out a hand towards her.

"Don't worry," she said, trying to sound encouraging and soothing at the same time.

"Please don't hurt me!" Dawn cried, moving away from the short blonde girl.

"Oh, it's okay," Buffy reassured her.  "I don't know anyone here either."

"Yeah?" Dawn asked, thankful that at least she wasn't alone in the confusion.  "Who are you?"

"Well, uh…" Buffy stopped, unable to answer the question.  

Xander finally broke, his panic and fear coming to the fore.  "Okay, who are you freaks?" he exclaimed.

Spike stood up and leaned nonchalantly against the counter, his eyes not moving from the blonde girl he had woken up on top of.  He almost smiled at the other young man's panic, finding it thoroughly amusing.

"Okay, why are you all staring at me?" Xander yelled when he realised that every eye in the room was giving him attention.  Except for the blonde guy by the counter.  "Is this some kind of psych test?  Am I getting paid for this?"

Giles stood up, finding himself oddly unruffled by the young man's outbursts, as though he was used to them.

"It's not just you.  Does anyone remember anything?" he asked, looking around the room.

Everyone looked thoughtful and just shook their heads.  

"Nope," Spike replied, speaking for them all.

"Well, maybe we all got…terribly drunk and this is some sort of, uh…blackout," he suggested.

Dawn couldn't remember how old she was, but she could feel within herself that she wasn't as old as the other people in the room with her.  They all looked to be about twenty or twenty-one, except for the man who had suggested that they had been drinking.

"I don't think I…drink," Dawn said nervously.

"I don't see any booze," Anya proclaimed.  "I don't feel any head bumps.  And I don't see Alan Funt."

"Who?" Giles asked, looking curiously towards the young woman he had woken up next to.  She was rather attractive, and he had to wonder what his relationship with her was.  He looked away from her towards where the short blonde girl was standing with the fourteen year old.

His breath caught in his throat as his eyes glanced over Buffy.  She was astonishingly gorgeous, holding herself in a way that was incredibly mature for someone of her age.  She caught him looking at her and he looked away immediately.  Buffy blushed a little and turned her attention to Xander who had begun screaming once more.

"Okay, I'm not panicking.  I'm not.  I'm not," he exclaimed, his voice sounding incredibly panic-stricken.  "Stop looking at me like I'm panicking!"

"Hey, hey, take it easy guy," Buffy said, holding a hand out in his direction, unsure why she was taking the initiative to fix things.  It felt extremely natural for her to do so though.  "Okay, no one's hurt right.  And no one looks all hatchety-murdery so we're probably safe.  Here.  Wherever here is." 

Willow stepped towards the counter and picked up a book that was lying on top of the glass cabinet.  "Look at this stuff.  Weird books with weird covers like…_Magic for Beginners_."

Tara looked excited and bounded towards the red-head.  "This is a Magic Shop.  A real magic shop."

"Well, maybe that's it," Buffy said.  "Maybe something magic happened."

"Magic?" Giles exclaimed, looking towards the young woman who had suggested it.  "Magic's all balderdash and chicanery.  I'm afraid we don't' know a bloody thing.  Except I seem to be British, don't I?  And a man.  With glasses.  Well, that narrows it down considerably."

"I don't like this," Dawn said quietly.

"It's okay, don't worry.  We'll take care of each other," Buffy assured her, stroking the young girls hair.  Dawn smiled and felt comforted by the somehow familiar gesture.

"We'll all get our memories back and we'll be right as rain," Giles assured them.

"Oh, listen to Mary Poppins," Spike mocked, a smirk on his face.  "He's got his crust all stuff and upper with that nancy-boy accent.  You Englishmen are always so-"

Everyone just looked at him until he finally figured out why they were staring in his direction.  

"Bloody hell!" he exclaimed.  He began counting off the words that came to him naturally.  "Sodding, blimey, shagging, knickers, bollocks, oh God!  I'm English."

Giles just stared at him with displeasure.  "Welcome to the nancy-tribe."

"You don't suppose you and I…we're not related are we?" Spike asked, looking horrified at the suggestion.

Anya looked between the two men.  "There is a ruggedly handsome resemblance." 

Buffy felt something stir within her, as though the young woman who had commented had no right to comment about her man like that.  The only problem was, which one was her man?  Both of them seemed to be staring at her intermittently.  The young blonde man seemed to be more her age, but the look in the elder Englishman's eyes set her on fire like never before.

Giles looked pleased by Anya's description and then looked back at Spike.

"And you do inspire a um…particular feeling of…familiarity and…disappointment," Giles said.

Spike looked vaguely insulted and walked up closer to Giles.

"Older brother?" Giles suggested.

Spike scoffed and looked Giles up and down.  "Father. Oh god, how I must hate you."

"What did I do?" Giles asked, looking outraged.

"There's always something," Spike replied.  He then gestured towards Anya.  "And what's with the trollop?"

"Hey!" Anya cried.

"Her?" Giles asked, looking towards the young woman beside him.  

"I saw you!  Sleeping together," Spike accused.

"Resting together," Giles corrected.

Anya looked down at her hands and saw a slight sparkle coming from her ring finger on her left hand.  She held it up for them all to see.

"Look!" she cried with excitement.  "It's okay.  We're engaged."

Giles gave a half-smile feeling somewhat disappointed that he was with the perky young woman instead of the magnificent blonde girl who was still standing beside the younger girl.

"It's a lovely ring," Anya said, admiring it.

"Oh great," Spike said sarcastically.  "A tarty step-mum who's half old daddy's age."

"Tarty?" Anya repeated, feeling the need to hurt the young man who had insulted her.

"Old?  You little twerp, I'm still young enough to get carded," Giles said.

"Carded!"  Willow cried suddenly.  "Driver's licenses."

Everyone moved simultaneously to search through their pockets.  Xander was the first to hold up his license.

"It's me!' Xander cried.  "Alexander Harris.  Cute picture.  Hey, I exist."

"I'm Willow Rosenburg," Willow said, holding up her UC Sunnydale ID.  "Heh, Willow.  Funny name."

"I think it's pretty," Tara said shyly.  Willow smiled at her and looked towards the card in her hand.

"What have you got?"

"Tara," she replied, holding up her card.  "And, look, I'm a student at UC Sunnydale."

"Me too!" Willow cried.  "Maybe we're study buddies."

Dawn looked towards Buffy forlorn.  "I don't have a wallet."

Buffy gave a sympathetic smile.  "Don't worry.  Me neither."  Buffy suddenly spotted something around Dawn's neck and lifted it gently.  "But look.  You're Dawn."

Dawn grinned and looked at the silver necklace.  "Or Umad," she joked, attempting to get a smile out of the girl who was being so nice to her.  It worked.

"I'm Rupert Giles," Giles announced.

Buffy couldn't help but look in his direction when she heard his voice.  It was almost as though she was addicted to hearing him speak.  Of course, with that accent, she couldn't possibly be blamed for it.

"Rupert," Anya repeated, looking up at her fiancé with adoration.  The look made Giles feel distinctly uncomfortable, though he couldn't explain why.

"Rupert!" Spike scoffed, holding back his laughter.

Giles glared at him, but Spike didn't back down.

"You're not too old to put across my knee you know…sonny," Giles threatened.  Spike's laughter didn't stop.  "Anyway, what did I call you?"

Spike's laughter stopped and he looked through his pockets, coming across a twenty dollar bill and a lighter.  He pulled out the small silver lighter and looked at the inscription.  

"For W. from D," he read.  "W?" 

Dawn looked up at the cute blonde man.  "Maybe it stands for Wallace," she suggested.

Spike's nose crinkled at the thought.

"Or Wesley," Buffy added. 

"Wendell," Xander said, a grin on his face.

"Walter," Anya said, giggling at the thought.

Spike looked disgusted by all of the suggestions until he heard Buffy's voice again.

"What about William?" she suggested.

Spike's breath caught in his throat at the gentle suggestion from the blonde girl.  He smiled at her and finally nodded his approval.

"William Giles," he said.  

He grinned at Buffy and she couldn't help but smile back a little.  He didn't make her blush though, and her heart rate didn't increase just by looking at him.

"What 'ave you got?" Spike asked her.

Buffy just shrugged a little.  "I don't have a wallet," she explained.

"You want me to name you?" Dawn asked.

Buffy looked at the young girl and smiled fondly.  "That's sweet, but I think I can name myself," she said, thinking carefully.  After a moment she had decided on the perfect name.  "I'll name me…Joan."

"Ugh," Dawn let slip out as her face wrinkled in distaste.

"What?" Buffy asked, looking at Dawn.  "Did you just 'ugh' my name?"

"No!" Dawn said.  "It's just…I mean, it's so blah.  Joan?"

"I like it," Buffy defended herself.  "I feel like a Joan."

Dawn just shrugged.  "Fine, that's your pergative."

"Prerogative," Buffy corrected.

"Whatever _Joan_," Dawn said.

"Whatever Umad," Buffy retorted.

"Boy you're a pain in the-" "Boy you're bossy," the girls said simultaneously.

They stopped and looked at each, slow smiles creeping over their faces.    
  


"Do you think we're-"

"Sister?" Buffy finished.

The two girls hugged enthusiastically and Buffy took Dawn's hand comfortingly.  

"You never show me affection like that," Spike said, looking towards Giles.  Giles just raised his eyebrows as though to question how he could know that.  "I'd wager."

Dawn looked down at her hand that was holding Buffy's and squealed loudly. 

"Look," Dawn exclaimed, pointing to Buffy's hand.  "You're engaged too!"

Buffy looked down and saw the ring on her finger.  She looked up at the men in the group, feeling incredibly disappointed that Rupert was already engaged to the chirpy girl in the floral dress.  She looked towards the bleached blonde man in black whom she had woken up next to.  

Spike saw the look in her eyes as she realised that she was engaged to him.  Spike felt his mouth go dry, and he swallowed hard.  He was engaged to the blonde bombshell he'd woken up next to.

Giles looked thoroughly disappointed by the fact that his son was engaged to the woman who made his breath catch in his throat and made his heart pound furiously.  He cleared his throat and looked towards Spike.

"Congratulations son," he said.

He looked towards Buffy and nodded at her.  "Congratulations to you as well Joan."

Spike smiled widely at the though.  "William and Joan Giles," he said quietly.

Buffy managed a small smile.  She had to admit, he _was_ fairly attractive.  His tight black tee-shirt showed his well defined muscles, and apart from him looking a little pale, he was extremely well-built.

"Well, we still need to figure out what's going on," Buffy said.  "We need to get help."

"Looks like Joan fancies herself the boss," he said, giving his fiancée an indulgent smile.

She smiled back at his teasing tones.  "We have a kid here-"

"A teenager," Dawn corrected.

"A teenager," Buffy agreed.  "And we have no idea what's going on.  I think a hospital's our best bet"

Tara stepped forward shyly.  "I- I don't know t-that they would even know what to do w-with us."

Buffy stopped to consider that and nodded.  "You're probably right Tara.  Uh…well…that was pretty much all I could think of.  Anyone else?"

Willow looked up at Buffy and stepped forward hesitantly.

"Well, if it _is_ magic, maybe…maybe it's only temporary.  Maybe…a good night's rest and…we might get our memories back," Willow said.

The group seemed to prefer that suggestion to going to the hospital and admitting that none of them had any idea who they were or where they came from.

"So…we just go home?" Spike asked.

Willow shrugged and nodded.  "Pretty much."

Spike looked worried for a moment but them agreed.  "Well, it's better than anything I can think of.  And if we don't get our bloody memories back?  Then what?"

Willow had no answer to that, but Buffy stepped forward.  "Well, we could meet back here tomorrow.  And if we still can't remember, then…we find someone to help us."

The group seemed to agree with that and stood to move out the doors.

"Uh…dad?" Spike asked, addressing Giles nervously.  Giles turned, unaccustomed to hearing anyone calling him 'dad'.

"I uh…I didn't have a wallet or keys or anything, so…do you reckon…could I stay with you?" he asked.

Giles smiled and put a fatherly arm around Spike.  "Of course you can William."

Dawn looked towards Buffy worriedly.  "Where will we stay?" she asked worriedly.

Buffy looked at her blankly, wondering the same thing.  Her eyes automatically fell towards Giles who saw the silent question written in them.

"You and Dawn are welcome to stay with us Joan.  I'd wager you and William probably spend many nights at our place."

Buffy nodded, grateful that they had a place to go home to.

Giles pulled his keys out of his pocket and stumbled across a piece of paper.  He unfolded it and read it quickly.  It was a receipt from the post office.

"What that?" Spike asked curiously.

"It's a receipt saying that our change of address had been registered at the post office, so we could get our mail redirected," Giles explained.

Spike took it off him and read the address.

"1630 Revello Drive," he read.  "Sounds swanky."

"It's not the address on my lisence," Giles added.  

"So, maybe we moved.  Wanting to accommodate for the new mum and my lovely lady and the nibblet," Spike suggested.

Giles looked surprised by Spike's logical rationalisation of it all.  Giles just shrugged and headed towards the front of the store.

"How are we gonna find it?" Dawn asked nervously.

"I'd wager there'll be a street directory in the car," Giles guessed.

"Rupey, will you know which car is yours?" Anya asked, her voice sickenly-sweet, causing both Spike and Buffy to roll their eyes.  They caught each others gestures and shared a grin.

Spike smirked suddenly and put his arms around Buffy.  "Dad's bound to have some classic mid-life crisis transport.  Something red, shiny, shaped like a penis."

Giles looked towards his son, shocked by his flippant way of stating things.  Spike had to bite back a peal of laughter as they stumbled across a red sports car outside the store.  Giles just glared at Spike and fit the key into the lock, upset that Spike had been right about his transport.

"You're treading on thin ice there William," Giles threatened.

Buffy couldn't help but agree with her father-in-law-to-be.  "Shush Will.  Don't upset him."

Spike turned to her and glared.

"What, you're taking his side over mine?  Your own fiancé?"

Buffy looked away, but Spike held onto her hands.

"Joan, I was only joking with 'im.  He knows I don't mean nothing by it," he said, trying to placate his fiancé.  "Don'tcha dad?"

Giles couldn't help but want to comfort the young girl in his son's arms.

"It's alright Joan.  Though I do appreciate you trying to defend me," he assured her.

She managed a slight smile at him and he had to turn away before all the blood rushed to his face and to other areas where he didn't particularly want his blood to be.

Spike looked down at Buffy, holding her close.

"I'm sorry," he whispered sweetly.  "I didn't mean to upset you."

She went to reply but found her lips being crushed by his.  Not only was this young man gorgeous, but he was an incredible kisser as well.  But still, her heart refused to catch in her throat.  He moved his hand down from her shoulder and onto the small of her back, pulling her closer to him, letting her feel his obvious excitement.  She pulled away suddenly, embarrassed by being so intimate with him when she barely knew him.

Buffy looked towards Dawn who was grinning at her.  She pulled her kid sister in for a hug and sat herself between Spike and Dawn on the back seat of Giles' convertible.  She watched as Anya took Giles' hand and held it tightly until Giles needed to use it to steer somewhere.  Anya was directing Giles to the house on Revello Drive, and they pulled into the driveway.

On instinct, Buffy pulled out her own keys and unlocked the door.  Spike and Giles looked towards her curiously.  She looked down at the keys in her hands and saw the open door.

"That's…really weird," she commented.

Dawn nodded but followed her sister into the house anyway.  The group of five explored the downstairs of the house, looking at the photos curiously.  There were none of Spike at all, most of the photos consisting of Buffy, Dawn and an older woman who Buffy resembled.  

On the mantle there were other pictures of the entire group.  In most of the groups, Buffy and Dawn were seated next to each other, usually glaring at each other or pulling funny faces.  Xander was usually with Anya, and Willow and Tara seemed to be far too comfortable together.

Anya looked at the photo and showed it to the rest of the group.

"Rupert," she said softly, tugging his hand until her looked.  His eyes widened as he saw Anya seated on Xander's lap.

"Well uh…perhaps you aren't…aren't engaged to myself.  Perhaps you and young Alexander are…are meant to be together," Giles said.

Anya looked at the picture thoughtfully, studying her smiling face and the affection in Xander's faced as well.

"He makes my heart fell funny," she whispered.

Giles put a comforting hand on her shoulder and took the photo away from her, studying it.  He was in this particular photo, sitting a little apart from the group, but still smiling.

Spike grabbed the photo from him.

"Hey, why aren't I in this photo?" he asked.

Buffy peered over his shoulder and looked at what he was staring at.

"Maybe cos you were the one taking the photo," she suggested.

Spike looked thoughtful at that and eventually nodded.  "Must be it."

He grinned at her and picked up another picture, this photo of Buffy by herself.  "With a model as gorgeous as you, it's no wonder I enjoy photography."

Buffy blushed at that and Dawn just grinned, thinking that the romance between her sister and the handsome blonde man was too cute.  

"Well, uh…perhaps we should…check upstairs for any other clues," Giles suggested.

The group nodded and moved towards the stairs.  They checked the rooms one by one, Dawn claiming one room as her own as she took in the blue bedspread and the untidy room with books and papers strewn across the table.  She picked up one of the novels on the ground and flipped open the cover.

"Hey Joan, we've got a last name," she said, pointing to the corner of the inside of the book where Dawn's name was written.  "Dawn Summers."

Buffy smiled and took in the mess of her sisters room.  "Ugh, look at this place.  You really should clean it before you start getting rats in here."

Dawn just rolled her eyes.  "You found your room yet?"

"We haven't gone further than your room yet, so no," Buffy teased.

Dawn shrugged and left the room, curious to see if she could tease her sister for being just as messy as he was.  Buffy opened up another door and saw an immaculate room with a large double bed in the middle of it.  She stepped inside and took in the posters and photographs.

Dawn stepped inside and made a sound of disgust.  "Neat freak."

Buffy poked her tongue out at her sister and stepped towards the dresser.  She picked up a silver necklace with a cross on it.

"Hey, I'm all religious," she said.

Giles smiled at the phrasing and Spike couldn't help but glare at Giles in what could only be described as a possessive manner.

Buffy put the cross down and picked up a leather bound notebook, running her hands across it.  She opened it to the first page.

"Journal of Buffy Anne Summers," she read.

Dawn looked at her curiously.  "Uh…either that's you or we've got another sister somewhere," she said.

Buffy looked at her and nodded thoughtfully.  "I think it might be me."

Anya looked at her sceptically.  "What kind of a name's Buffy?"   

Buffy just ignored her and replaced the journal onto her desk.  

"We should…keep going," Spike suggested.  "Find dad's room."

Buffy nodded and moved to the door, jumping a little as Spike put his hand on the small of her back to lead her down the corridor. 

Giles opened up the door to another room and looked inside.  Spike stepped in after him, whistling under his breath.  

"Nice digs," Spike said.

There were small antique statuettes in the room as well as beautiful paintings on the wall.  Giles unconsciously worked out the value of many of the items in the room and was surprised to work out how much money he would have to earn if he wanted to own these items.

The bed had a large ornate wooden frame, the mattress covered with a rich burgundy colour quilt and matching pillows.  

The dressing table held no photos and the drawers were empty.  

"Well, uh…perhaps Annya could take this bed and…I'll take the couch," Giles suggested.

"Joan…uh, Buffy and I can take her room and the nibblet's got her own," Spike said.

Buffy swallowed nervously at the thought of spending the night in bed with a man she didn't know.  It didn't seem at all appropriate, but she knew that when they got their memories back, she would feel comfortable with him once again.  Of course, if he didn't want to sleep together in that sense, it would be a moot point anyway.

Giles took off his glasses and cleaned them with a handkerchief that was in his pocket.

"Well uh…it is fairly late," Giles said.  "Perhaps we should call it a night."

Spike looked thrilled at the idea of going to bed, and no one could think of any reason why they shouldn't.


	24. Giles

CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR: GILES

It had taken Buffy three attempts to find the drawer for her pyjamas, and had taken another ten minutes before she had found something suitable for Spike to wear.  She nervously handed him a pair of sweats that would have been far too big for him, but he just took them and rolled up the cuffs.  He stripped off his shirt and didn't bother replacing it.

Buffy swallowed nervously as she took in Spike's well-sculpted chest, suddenly wondering what exactly he would expect of her that night.  She knew she had made love before, she could remember how it felt, but she couldn't remember any names or faces of her previous partners.  She felt insecure about it though, as though she was worried as to whether he would still be there in the morning, irrational as the thought was.

In her oversized tee-shirt and satin boxer shorts, she managed to slide under the covers, her heart beating rapidly.  She began to wonder what _she_ expected from the night.  She had enjoyed kissing him earlier, she had to admit that, she had felt her body responding, but she knew that there was something missing between them.  She had told herself that it was merely the memories that she was missing rather than love, for she was sure she must love the man who stared at her with such devotion.

Spike slipped into the bed and touched her face softly.

"Buffy?" he whispered.

She looked up to him, her eyes meeting the gorgeous blue of his.  "Hmm?"

"I know we don't remember anything, but…I can feel it inside me.  You're in my gut, you're in my throat.  I'm drowning in you Buffy, I'm drowning in you," he said quietly, not quite sure why he was waxing poetic.  The words seemed to flow through him though.

She looked at him thoughtfully.  "You've said that to me before," she said.

He cocked his head to the side and leant forward to kiss her gently.  "It feels right though, doesn't it?  Like we belong together."

She wanted to agree, wanted to tell this man who was so obviously in love with her that she felt the same way, but she couldn't.  All she could so however, was kiss him gently.

Spike took that as an affirmative response and returned the kiss with ardour, thanking whatever higher power he believed in that they had given him this gift.  His hands ran across her body and he was too swept up in taking in this tiny girl that he didn't even notice how hesitant she was to return the passion that he was feeling.  Her hands remained on Spike's back, staying still the entire time.  She knew she should push him away, but the whispered words of love and devotion were doing a good job to convince her that they were engaged.  

His whispered words of 'my love' and 'Buffy-love' were making her soul tingle.  It was the accent she was sure of it.  It was so familiar.  Here, in the quiet moments, his accent had gone from the Cockney to a more cultured voice, much like his father's.  Buffy pulled away at that realisation.  She was beginning to respond because he had sounded exactly like Rupert.

Spike, however, didn't even notice and just moved his lips over hers again, continuing his whispered words.

With her eyes closed, all she could hear were the muttered words coming from this man who had overly cold hands.  She had a feeling that she could remember cold hands, though she didn't know why.  In the back of her mind, she knew that she had once responded to the coldness of a mans hands, that they had quenched a burning desire within her, but she somehow knew that it had only happened the once.

She was craving for heat and Spike's coldness was sorely lacking.  She went to push him off her, but he paid her small effort no mind.

"Will," she whispered quietly in an attempt of protest, but Spike only heard it as he wanted to hear it.  Filled with desire and love for him.  He felt something within him stir and within moments, his sweat pants had been discarded and he had begun working on Buffy's boxer shorts.   

"Will, no," she whispered, pushing him off her.  

He moved his lips down to her neck, kissing the scar he had noticed earlier, the sight of it making him feel uneasy and somewhat guilty about being with this girl.  But he could feel within himself that this girl was meant to be his.  They were one and the same and he wanted to possess her like she had never been possessed before.

"I love you," he whispered again, moving his hands under her shorts to take it off her.  She tried to stop him, but he used enough force to get her to comply without hurting her.

"Will, we really shouldn't," she said quietly, her protests dying out when he kissed her again, long and hard, making her breathless.

His fingers slipped inside her and Buffy was surprised that she had been responding to him.  Before she could even grab his hand to move him away from her, he had manoeuvred himself to be inside of her, moving his hips in a slow fashion.  Without thinking, Buffy moaned at the sensation, momentarily forgetting her protests. He began to move inside of her, and all of her protesting thoughts were swept out the window as he made love to her.

Spike could feel himself nearing the end of this exquisite torment of her heat, could feel the strength of what was about to happen inside of him.  He growled low in his throat, the sound strange and yet somehow familiar to both of them.  He nipped at her neck with blunt teeth, feeling the urge to sink his teeth into her skin, the very thought extremely disturbing.

He could hear her heart throbbing in her chest, could smell the way he was affecting the girl wrapped around him.  He could taste the salty sweat on her skin was breathing in the smell of sunshine and roses.  Without even thinking, he slid into game face and bit down on the scars that were on Buffy's neck, Buffy crying out as she felt his fangs pierce her skin.  She couldn't tell whether she had cried out in pleasure or in pain.

"Giles," she cried out, coming hard as she felt him drinking from her.

Spike pulled back as he heard the name she had called out.  Why hadn't she called out 'Will?'  Why use his last name?  It seemed strange for her to be calling that out in bed, completely foreign and unnatural, yet the words had slid from her lips as though she had said them before.  Maybe she used to call him Giles as a nickname.  But the way she had called him Will earlier had been soft and affectionate as well.

Buffy opened her eyes in as Spike pulled back, still in shock about what had just happened between them.  He had bitten her! She took in Spike's game face and Spike could smell very real fear in the girl underneath him.  He looked at her confused, one eyebrow cocked, making his transformed face look even more grotesque.

"What?  Buffy-love, what is it?" he asked quietly.  He nuzzled at her neck, oblivious to the bite marks he had just put there, as though he couldn't even remember feeding from her.

"You're…you…"  

She struggled to find the words and pushed him off.  He fell from her, their combined juices dripping between them as she pulled away from him and held the covers up to cover her body.

"Buffy, what?  You're scaring me," he said worriedly.

She pointed at his face and then pointed at the mirror.  "Just…go look in the mirror.  You're…there's…there's something wrong with your face."

Spike looked at her as though she had gone mad, but still pulled himself away from the bed and walked to the full-length mirror, still completely naked.  He stopped in front of it and looked at the glass expectantly.  He saw nothing in front of him, and that was when the panic began.

"Holy shit!" he cried, bringing his hands to the mirror, trying to see if the glass was real or not.  "I don't have a reflection."

Buffy got off the bed slowly, walking towards the mirror.  He was right.  She could see her reflection in the mirror even when Spike was standing directly in front of her.

"What the hell is going on?" she asked angrily.

He turned to her, still in game face and she couldn't help but jump back in fear.  "Get rid of that…that thing on your face."

Spike brought his hands to his forehead and felt the ridges and skin where his forehead and eyebrows had once been.  He ran his tongue over his fangs, tasting the blood that was still on them.  He swallowed and knew that it was Buffy's blood he had been tasting.

"I don't know how," he replied frantically.

"M-maybe you just need to calm down," she suggested quietly.

He whirled at her angrily and she jumped back, startled by the hatred that she saw in the face of the man who had, only moments ago, looked at her with complete adoration.

He saw her move back and immediately felt guilty for it.  He took in a deep breath and closed his eyes.  He felt the shift in his face almost immediately and he opened his eyes to see Buffy staring at him in fear.  He stayed completely still until Buffy took the first step forward.

With shaking hands, Buffy brought her fingers up to touch Spike's forehead.  She ran the tips of her fingers over his eyebrows, touching the small cross shaped scar as she went.  He looked at her, his startlingly blue eyes begging her not to step back after she had completed her inspection.

"What are you?" she whispered quietly.

Spike looked at her in pain, hating the quiet question that had grazed her lips.

"A man who's in love with you," he replied.  "Nothing else matters but that."

She nodded silently, trying to ignore the fact that her hand was trembling badly and that if Spike's hand hadn't come to rest on her hip, she probably would have fallen against him.  Spike hesitated, but finally moved forward and laid a gentle kiss on her lips.  Trying to ignore the fact that she was still desperately scared, she let Spike pull her back towards the bed and slide under the covers.  It was a long time before Buffy was able to sleep comfortably in his arms, but when Spike had drifted off, purring contently, she had let herself listen to the low rumbles in his chest and finally fell into a deep sleep. 

(Sorry it took so long for this chapter, it was kinda weird to write…hope you enjoy it…much angst to follow.  Thank you all for the wonderful reviews and emails I've been receiving about this fic!!)


	25. Broken

CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE: BROKEN

Willow and Tara lay in the large double bed of Xander's apartment, neither one sleeping, but both trying to think through their thoughts of what was happening to them.  They couldn't remember where they were, and they couldn't remember where they lived.  Neither one of them carried driver's licenses, but both of them had student ID for UC Sunnydale.

Xander had offered to let them stay at his apartment, and had gentlemanly offered to let them stay in his room while he slept on the couch.

Willow and Tara had looked at each other nervously when Xander had made the offer, but had both complied, knowing that they definitely wanted to share a bed together.

The first few minutes had been awkward and uncomfortable for both of them, until Tara had finally been the first one to start a conversation.

"Willow?" she whispered.

"Yeah?" 

"Do you…are you finding this…" Tara trailed off, not really knowing how to complete that sentence.

"Uncomfortable?" Willow finished, even though she wasn't quite feeling that.

"Well, no," Tara replied.  "Maybe a little…too comfortable."

Willow swallowed nervously.  "You too huh?"

Tara breathed a sigh of relief, thankful that she hadn't just been imaging things.

"So…what uh…what do you think we…do you think we're…together?" Tara asked.

Willow hesitated and shifted herself so that she was leaning her weight on her elbow as she lay next to Tara, looking down at her.  She felt her heart do the funny flip-flops and knew the answer automatically.

"When I look at you, you make me want to smile," Willow whispered.

Tara smiled at that and moved to imitate Willow's position on the bed.  

"You _do_ make me smile," Tara replied.

Willow grinned and they were content to just stare at each other for a few moments.  It was at least ten minutes before either one of them managed to work up the confidence to lean towards the other.  Neither one of them, though, could have said who had moved in first.

------------------------

Xander lay with his hands behind his head on the couch.  It was scary to think that he had no idea of who he was or how he was related to any of the people he had woken up with in the Magic Box.  The others seemed to be taking it in their stride, but honestly, he was extremely worried.  He had been expecting to walk into his apartment and remember flashes of his life, and he had to admit that the apartment did seem familiar, but there was something off about it.  As though there was something missing.

He got off the couch and began pacing the living room of his apartment.  He went to the kitchen and made himself a cup of tea, not knowing how he knew that he liked tea, but somehow instinctively knowing that it would be something soothing.  

He moved to sit at the glass table in the living room, placing the cup on the table and moving back to the kitchen to grab a paper towel as he spilled some of the liquid out of the cup.  He trod on something sharp and almost immediately swore before catching himself and clutching at his foot painfully.  Several minutes later, when the pain had finally subsided, he bent down to see what he had stepped on.

It was a small black crystal, shiny and beautiful.  He held it up to the light and saw black swirls inside and outside of it.  There was a small crack in it, presumably from the force of his weight on top it the small object.  He took it back to the living room table, placing it next to his teacup.  As he dropped it onto the table, there was a bright flash of white.  The crystal broke in two and Xander promptly stumbled as he felt every memory that belonged to him rip back into his mind.

He fell to his knees at the intensity of the memories, feeling nauseous about the better half of them.  After nearly five minutes of dry-heaving, he managed to stand and went to check on Willow and Tara.  He stopped however, when he heard the yelling coming from his bedroom. 

Suddenly everything made sense.  Willow had cast a spell, and as usual, it had gone terribly wrong.  He couldn't work out why she had cast it though, and his curiousity was the only incentive he had to stay and listen to the Wiccan lovers argument.

------------------------

"How dare you?!" Tara yelled at Willow, both of them standing on with a good metre and a half between them.  "Who the hell do you think you are?"

"Tara, please," Willow begged, tears streaming down her face.

"No Will.  I trusted you for God's sake!  How dare you do this to me?  To all of us?" Tara demanded.

"It…it wasn't like that Tara, I swear it…I was trying to make things better," Willow explained desperately.

"Better for who?  For you?  What on earth could have been so horrible that you would want me to forget it?" Tara asked.  Her eyes narrowed as she took in the guilty countenance of her lover.  "Or maybe it wasn't just me that the spell was for."

Willow looked away guiltily and Tara knew the answer.  Suddenly everything clicked into place.  Willow hadn't been in class that morning, even though she had said she would be there.  Tara and Buffy's discussion in the hallway had been overheard and that was the reason the spell had been cast.

_Why did you lie to us that day in the shop?  About you being in hell?_

"This is because of what I was talking to Buffy about this morning, isn't it?" Tara asked.

Willow just nodded quietly.  "Yeah.  It is," she replied.

Tara looked away in disgust.  "I really can't believe you Willow."

"I just…I wanted her to forget where she'd been.  To…to try and make things easier on her," Willow explained.

"God, what is wrong with you?!" Tara yelled.

Willow looked completely taken aback by Tara's anger.  

"Tara…I didn't mean to-"

"To what?  To violate her mind like that?  How could you Willow?  We ruined things for her, we rip her out of peace and the first thing you do when you find out…you try and take away her memories of it," Tara said angrily.  "That's not fair Willow.  You can't just play God with her life like that.  And what? Did you just think that the others would forget about it as well?"

"Others?" Willow asked.

Tara just shook her head, unable to believe that Willow, who had the IQ of a genius, could be so completely stupid sometimes.

"You don't honestly think that she didn't tell anyone?"

"The others knew?  What, am I the _last_ one to know?" Willow asked angrily.

Tara saw how much that bit of information had hurt Willow and suddenly felt contrite.  Even though Tara's anger was justified, she could see that it was hurting Willow, and that was something she had never liked to do.

"No, you're not the last," Tara replied, her voice back to the normal quietness.  "Giles knows.  And so does Rik.  I think Spike might as well."

"_Spike_ knew?" 

"She probably needed to tell someone.  Someone that wasn't directly involved with the spell," Tara explained.   

"But Spike?"

Tara's eyes suddenly went wide.  Spike.  And Buffy.  Who assumed that they were engaged.  And with no memories of Buffy and Giles being together, Buffy might have…

Willow saw Tara pale suddenly and immediately reached out her hand to comfort her lover.  "Tara, what is it?"

Tara glared at Willow and head towards the door angrily.  She turned at the last moment.

"I swear, by all the gods and goddesses, if _anything_ has happened to Buffy we're through."

She walked out the door angrily, not even noticing that Xander was leaning against the door hyperventilating over what he had just heard.  Behind her, Willow crumpled to the ground, her body wracking with sobs.


	26. Memories

CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX: MEMORIES

(The first bit of this is set before their memories are returned)

Buffy awoke when she heard the flushing of a toilet down the hallway, followed by the squeaking of the stairs.  Curious, she rolled off the bed, careful not to wake Spike up.  She slipped into her t-shirt and Spike's sweats, the night air cool enough to not make her want to wear boxer shorts.

She opened the door quietly and headed towards the stairs, going down and into the kitchen.  She let the door open with a little squeak, trying not to startle whoever had gone into the kitchen.  It didn't work that well.

Giles jumped and turned to see who had followed him, relaxing when he saw that it was Buffy.  He offered her a small smile and turned back to his task.

"Tea?" he asked quietly.

"Please," she replied quietly, perching herself on a stool that sat at the kitchen bench.

"You couldn't sleep either I take it," he said.

"Not really," she admitted.  "This whole thing is far too freaky for my liking."

He handed her a mug filled with tea, which she took gratefully, holding her hands around the mug to get them warm.  

"I have to admit, it is a little…disconcerting to not have any memories," Giles said, taking a seat beside her.

She looked at him and felt her heart catch in her throat.  "Sometimes…I kinda get the feeling that my heart remembers stuff," she whispered.

He looked at her and she knew that he understood exactly what she meant.

"Do you think we'll get our memories back?" she asked.

He nodded as he sipped his tea, taking a seat on the stool opposite Buffy, the bench in between them.

"We'll find a way to get them back," he assured her.

"I hope so."

They were silent for a moment and Buffy could feel her heart begin to beat a little faster, nervousness setting in for some unknown reason.  Even when she had been with Will, she had never felt the twinges in her heart that Giles was putting there with a simple look.

"The sun will be up soon," Giles commented vaguely, looking out of the window.

Buffy looked as well and gave a small murmur to tell him she had heard him, but couldn't find an appropriate answer.  She sighed and stood up, feeling incredibly restless, as though there was something she was meant to be doing.

"Are you alright?" Giles asked.

Buffy nodded, still a little distracted.  "I'm just…I dunno.  I feel like I should be doing something.  Who knows."

"Perhaps you enjoy early morning jogging," he suggested.

Buffy looked up at that.  She had the distinct impression that he was right, or almost right.  

"That's probably it.  Sounds like a good idea at any rate.  I don't think I'll be able to get back to sleep," Buffy admitted.

He looked at her worriedly.  She looked tired, but he didn't feel as though he had the right to criticise.  

"And William?  He's alright?"

He noticed the way her cheeks blushed a little at the mention of his sons name.  His eyes darkened a little when he realised what that blush meant.  He shook the darkness away and tried to look supportive.  Why he wouldn't be thrilled for his son was beyond him.

"Yeah, he…he's asleep." She was tempted to tell him about what had happened last night when he had bitten her.  Her hand went to her neck at the memory of it, but the holes had already closed.  She couldn't even feel a scar there at all.  Strange.

Buffy stood up and put her empty mug on the counter, giving Giles a small smile.  "I'm gonna go get changed.  Maybe go for that run after all," she said.

Giles nodded and watched as she walked away.  He sighed to himself wondering what the true story was behind everything he was feeling.

------------------------

Buffy crept through her room silently, locating a pair of shorts and a tank top as well as a pair of running shoes in her closet.  How she had managed not to wake up Spike was a question she didn't really want to know the answer to.  She was somewhat grateful for it though.

She slipped out of the room and down the stairs, smiling a little at Giles who had relocated to the living room, his tea and a book in his hands.  He waved a little and watched her slip out the door and into the darkness.  It was early, only four-thirty, but at least the rain had stopped. 

She began running, her feet thumping an unconscious rhythm as she went.  She went to turn the corner but stopped short as she heard a thousand voices begin screaming at her.  Her hands went to her ears, trying to shut  out the voices.  They persisted and she fell to her knees.  

Memory after memory swept through her mind; her first memory of being at the park with her dad, the first time she met Dawn and held the baby girl in her arms, going through school, being called, Merrick dying, moving to Sunnydale, her romance with Angel, his consequent turning, killing him, running away, coming back a broken shell, her eighteenth birthday, Faith's turn to the darker side of slaying, attempting to kill Faith, destroying the school, the entire mess with Riley, Adam, the Initiative, Riley leaving her, Spike confessing his love for her, her mother becoming sicker and sicker, her mom dying, trying to take care of Dawn, falling in love with Giles and not being able to tell him, Glory taking Dawn, her own death, heaven, waking up in her coffin, the first few day back in this world, Giles not being there, Giles return, Faith's death, Rik's appearance, Giles' proposal, her acceptance.  And then…Spike.

Oh god.  She'd slept with Spike.  

The sobbing came after the retching, and the rocking back and forth was closely followed by the unconscious whisper that came to her lips.  "Giles….Giles…Giles…"  

(Hehe…way to give a girl a nervous break-down, huh?  My apologies for how long it's taken to get this chapter up…)


	27. Truth

CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN: TRUTH

(Warning, Spike is kinda fluffy in this chap.  My apologies for people who prefer him evil…)

When Spike finally had feeling in his body again, he took the stairs down to the kitchen.  He'd slept with Buffy.  She was with Giles, and he'd slept with her.  Half of him was rejoicing the fact that he'd finally slept with the girl he loved, while the other half was in misery because he knew what this would do to Buffy.  This would kill her.  Not to mention her relationship with her Watcher.

Spike stepped into the living room, careful to avoid the sunlight.  He stopped short when he saw Rupert sitting on the edge of the couch deep in thought.  Spike coughed softly, trying not to startle the man.  Giles just looked at the vampire, and immediately Spike knew that Giles knew what had happened between Spike and Buffy the night before.

"She alright?" Spike asked, realising there was no point in not broaching the topic with the Watcher.  He was nervous.  He couldn't explain why, but he was.

"I don't know," Giles replied quietly.  "She went for a run earlier this morning.  She hasn't come back since."

"It's gonna be hard for her," Spike said.  "Remembering everything that she's gonna remember."

Giles sat there silently, trying to be angry at Spike.  He found that he couldn't bring himself to do so.  He was jealous, he couldn't and wouldn't deny that.  But he couldn't be angry.  He had seen the way that William had been looking at 'Buffy' the night before, he had seen the obvious devotion of his 'son' to the young blonde girl.  He couldn't fault Spike for following through with the emotions that he so obviously felt.

"So, are you gonna stake me, or should I just save you the hassle and do it meself?" he asked.

Giles shook his head.  He felt sick, physically sick.  The thought that Buffy had slept with the vampire was nauseating, yet on a conscious level he knew that it wasn't Buffy who had slept with Spike.  It was a young woman sleeping with a man who was her fiancée.

"I'm not going to stake you Spike," Giles replied.  

Spike nearly breathed a sigh of relief and sat himself on the single sofa opposite Giles.

"You gonna go look for her?  I'd offer to do it myself, but the sun's coming through the clouds too often," he said.

"I think she might need to be alone for a while," Giles said.

"Alone?  That chit's just had twenty years of crappy memories forced back into her skull, and you think she's better off alone?" Spike asked incredulously.  "What that girl needs is someone there to listen to her, someone to hold her while she's crying her heart out."

"And I suppose you want to volunteer?" Giles asked bitterly.

Spike shook his head sadly.  "It's not my place.  Never was.  She gave it to me a few times, when you weren't there.  She wanted you though.  She always wanted you.  And if it makes you feel any better…she called for you.  When she…when we…while we…" he trailed off.  "She called for you even when she couldn't remember you."

Giles felt somewhat heartened that Buffy had called for him when she had slept with Spike –'William'-.

"You think I should go after her?" Giles asked.

"I dunno mate," Spike replied.  "She's gonna be hurting, not just over what happened over her whole life, but…Rupert, I swear, I never woulda made a move on her if I hadda been myself.  She…she loves you.  She looks at you and she smiles, and…to see her smiling, no matter who it was with, I'd step aside and just watch her."

"Strangely enough, I actually believe that you're telling the truth," Giles said.

Spike just shrugged and leant back in his seat.

"Question is, can you forgive her for what happened.  For what she couldn't control?" Spike asked.

"I can," Giles replied, almost becoming defensive at Spike's implication.

"Really?  You can push past her sleeping not only with another man, but with a vampire as well?" Spike asked.  "Cos that girl's gonna be feeling some pretty serious guilt right now and none of it's even her fault.  So if you like you're blaming her even a smidgen for what happened, then you're gonna lose her."

Giles looked away, hating that Spike was being so insightful.  He knew in his head that Buffy wasn't to blame for what had happened with Spike.  But, he couldn't help but feel hurt that Buffy had slept with Spike before he and his Slayer had had a chance to make love with each other.  It hurt, and even though he knew it was irrational, he couldn't help the way he felt.

"Maybe we should get someone else to go look for her," Giles eventually suggested.  

"Yeah but who?"

As though the Powers themselves had answered the question, the front door opened and Tara came in looking as though she had run the entire way from Xander's apartment.  She had.

"Tara?  God lord, what's the matter?" Giles asked.

"Where's Buffy…is she alright?" Tara asked.

Giles and Spike exchanged glances.  They really never gave the blonde Wiccan girl much credit for anything.

"We don't actually know where she is," Giles admitted.  "She uh…went for a run earlier this morning before we got eh memories back.  My only guess is that she was hit with the barrage of them sometime on her jog."

Tara nodded and looked between the two British men.  Her gaze fell on Spike.

"Did she…I mean…you guys didn't…"

Spike caught the unspoken question and nodded.  Tara felt her heart drop.

"Oh goddess," she breathed quietly.

"That was pretty much our reaction ducks," Spike said.  "Except far manlier of course."

Giles glared at the vampire who immediately closed his mouth.  

"Do you know where she went?" Tara asked.

Giles shook his head.   "Sunnydale's not exactly a tiny town, and seeing as she doesn't know her way around, she could really be anywhere." 

"I can do a location spell," Tara said, thinking quickly.  "I just need something of hers."

Spike pulled something out of his jeans pocket and handed it to the witch.  Tara looked at it carefully.  Buffy's engagement ring.  Spike had found it after all of his memories had shoved their way into his mind again.  The ring had been on the bedside table.  He'd pocketed it in hopes to give it back to Buffy.

Tara quickly cast a quick spell and found the Slayer, stationary near the park.  After quickly assuring Giles that she would take care of Buffy, Tara was off, running towards the park, the ring still in her hand.

~*~


	28. Comfort

CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT: COMFORT

Tara found Buffy huddled, leaning against a wall, her body shuddering with sobs.  Tara sat beside her gently, Buffy not even realising that someone had sat beside her.  Tara could hear the Slayer muttering something under her breath, and after a few moments, Tara finally worked out what it was.

"Giles."

Tara felt her heart break, and she knew within herself that she and Willow were completely over.  She couldn't go back to Willow ever again.  Not after this.

Tara just held the blonde Slayer tightly as Buffy cried her heart out.  Tara gently slipped Buffy's ring back onto her ring finger, that Slayer barely even registering the presence of the witch, let alone the ring.

------------------------

It took nearly an hour for Buffy to calm herself down enough to realise that Tara was there beside her.  She offered the blonde witch a shaky watery smile.

"Thanks Tara," Buffy whispered.

"You're welcome."

Buffy finally saw the ring on her finger and closed her eyes in almost physical pain.  She removed it gently and looked at it as though seeing it for the first time.

"You think he'll want this back?" Buffy asked, her voice barely even a whisper.

Tara swallowed hard and just gently held Buffy's hand, trying to offer comfort to the girl.

"He'll understand," Tara assured her.

Buffy gave a short sad laugh.

"Understand?  How can I expect him to understand that I…that I fucked S_pike_ before he and I even had a chance to be together?" 

Tara winced at the harsh language and the realisation that Buffy and Giles had yet to take their relationship further.  She hadn't realised that Buffy and Giles hadn't been sleeping together.  Somehow, it made all of it seem that much worse.

"It wasn't your fault," Tara told her.

"Then why does it feel like it is?" Buffy asked sadly.

"Willow did this," Tara said.  "It was her spell that did this to all of us.  You couldn't have known."

"I shouldn't have just assumed," Buffy said.  "We were practically strangers and we slept together anyway."

"You thought you were together.  You thought you were engaged," Tara said.

"That doesn't matter," Buffy said.  "It shouldn't have happened."

"He'll forgive you," Tara assured her.

"I know he will and he shouldn't have to!  It shouldn't have happened."

The Slayer wiped away angry tears and stood up.  Tara slowly followed in Buffy's footsteps and pulled herself to her feet.

"You should go and talk to him," Tara said quietly.

Buffy closed her eyes and tried to keep herself steady.

"How can I expect him to even look at me now?" Buffy questioned.  "How can I ask him to touch me after what I did?"

"Buffy, you didn't sleep with Spike.  Joan slept with William," Tara said.

"And Joan's body is still my body, and William is still Spike.  No matter how you look at it, Buffy and Spike still slept together."

Tara sighed, knowing that there was no way that Buffy was going to accept that this hadn't been her fault.  Tara knew enough about the Slayer o know that she wouldn't let anyone help her bear the weight of the world that rested on her shoulders.  

"Do you love Giles?" Tara asked.

"Of course I do," Buffy replied.  "With everything I have.  I've loved him for years."  
  


"And does he love you?" 

"He shouldn't have to," Buffy whispered miserably.

"But does he anyway?" Tara asked.  

Buffy thought about it and nodded.  Even if she'd slept with Spike while she'd been herself, Giles probably would have found a way to excuse her behaviour and forgive her for it.  That was how her Watcher worked.  He forgave without question, even when he shouldn't have had to.

"He loves you, Buffy," Tara whispered comfortingly.  "Above everything else, he loves you.  And you love him.  It's not very often that two people are meant to be together the way that you and Giles are meant to be."

Buffy closed her eyes and tried to imagine what she could possibly say to Giles to make things better between them.  All she could think of doing was curling herself up in his arms and letting him hold her until neither of them had any breath left in their bodies.  She wanted to be with him until she died for the final time.  And as selfish as it may have been, she wasn't willing to give that up for anything.

She stood quickly, afraid that she would lose the nerve to go back to the house if she didn't move quickly.  Tara smiled and stood as well, watching as the Slayer purposefully replaced the engagement ring on her finger and the two friends set back towards Revello Drive.

(Soooo short, and not a lot going on, but it was taking too fricken long to get written.  Figured I should just start a new chapter right about here.  My apologies both for the length of this instalment and the length of time it took for me to update!)

Thank you to all ppl who have reviewed and emailed me about this fic!  You're all groovy!

Toodles.

K.


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